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Tim Cook Says He's Ready To Pull Twitter From App Store Once President Xi Gives The Order

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  gregtx  •  2 years ago  •  4 comments

Tim Cook Says He's Ready To Pull Twitter From App Store Once President Xi Gives The Order
CUPERTINO, CA — Apple CEO Tim Cook confirmed this morning that he's prepared to remove the Twitter app from the App Store but that he's waiting for orders from CCP President Xi before he makes a move.

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T



CUPERTINO, CA — Apple CEO Tim Cook confirmed this morning that he's prepared to remove the Twitter app from the App Store but that he's waiting for orders from CCP President Xi before he makes a move.

"I never make a business decision without first consulting the great and magnificent President Xi, blessings on his name," said Cook in a statement. "My company lives to serve the People's Republic of China and The Chinese Communist Party, and I will resign myself to his divine will."

"If he gives the order, Twitter will be gone from the App Store."

Cook emphasized, however, that the popular Chinese spy and child exploitation app TikTok will always have a platform in the App Store. "TikTok is an essential tool for advancing Chinese interests around the world and for protecting my cheap slave labor in the country. It will never be removed."

Chinese authorities have thanked Cook for his statement and promised to have updated orders for the tech company within a week.

At publishing time, Google claimed they were not beholden to China in any way, but that they would do whatever Apple did.


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GregTx
Professor Guide
1  seeder  GregTx    2 years ago

512

 
 
 
Sean Treacy
Professor Principal
2  Sean Treacy    2 years ago

Apple helps a brutal totalitarian regime suppress dissent and crush protests.

Twitter promises not to  engage in partisan censorship. 

Guess which upsets American  progressives? 

 
 
 
squiggy
Junior Silent
3  squiggy    2 years ago

With that smile and suit - he looks like another South Park Satan.

 
 
 
Thrawn 31
Professor Participates
4  Thrawn 31    2 years ago

He would have to beat Trump in the BJ race, trump can never resist the urge to suck dictator cock.

 
 

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