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Herschel Walker Claims Election Was Rigged Against Person with Fewer Votes | The New Yorker

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  jbb  •  2 years ago  •  4 comments

By:   Conde Nast (The New Yorker)

Herschel Walker Claims Election Was Rigged Against Person with Fewer Votes | The New Yorker
They're going to count up all the votes and, shazam, whoever got more votes is the winner," the Republican Senate candidate said. "How is that fair?

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T



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By Andy Borowitz

December 6, 2022 Boro-Hershal-Walker.jpg Photograph by Alex Wong / Getty

ATLANTA (The Borowitz Report)—Sounding an alarm on the day that Georgians head to the polls, the Republican Senate candidate Herschel Walker claimed that the runoff election was rigged against the person with fewer votes.

"I cast my vote and I saw all of these election-type people in there behind these tables," Walker told reporters. "They're going to count up all the votes and, shazam, whoever got more votes is the winner. How is that fair?"

Walker said that he might not have run for the Senate had he known that the person with fewer votes would be declared the loser. "This whole process has opened a lot of eyes for me," he said. "It's like something out of communist Russia."

He added that the election system was inherently broken because millions of people vote, and "no one can count that high."

"I can barely count to ten on a good day," he said, before aides hustled him away from the microphone and into a car.


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JBB
Professor Principal
1  seeder  JBB    2 years ago

Unlike the crap others serve, this is real 100% pure American Satire! The bad stinky kind, which is not funny, comes from a foreign bee hive, in Russia...

 
 
 
Hal A. Lujah
Professor Guide
2  Hal A. Lujah    2 years ago

"I cast my vote and I saw all of these election-type people in there behind these tables," Walker told reporters. "They're going to count up all the votes and, shazam, whoever got more votes is the winner. How is that fair?"

Sadly, the injustice of the Electoral College comes to mind.

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Senior Guide
2.1  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  Hal A. Lujah @2    2 years ago

[deleted]

 
 
 
Hal A. Lujah
Professor Guide
2.1.1  Hal A. Lujah  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @2.1    2 years ago

It’s unlikely that we will ever see a Democrat win the EC and lose the popular vote.  That head scratching phenomenon is purely Republican.

 
 

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