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Pete Buttigieg Celebrates 24 Hours Without A Train Derailment

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  gregtx  •  last year  •  17 comments

Pete Buttigieg Celebrates 24 Hours Without A Train Derailment
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg has proudly announced that the U.S. has managed to go a whole 24 hours without any trains flying off the tracks and exploding into balls of fire while spewing deadly chemicals into the air.

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T



WASHINGTON, D.C. — Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg has proudly announced that the U.S. has managed to go a whole 24 hours without any trains flying off the tracks and exploding into balls of fire while spewing deadly chemicals into the air.

"This is a momentous achievement for our country," said Buttigieg to a cheering crowd. "All the choo-choo-trains are still on the tracks! And it's been a whole day! So many people worked hard to accomplish this goal and we were successful. This is definitely because I'm gay."

The Transportation Secretary was clear, however, that his work is still not done. "We still have a long way to go," he continued. "Clearly, some trains are racist, and we must stop them. Some train tracks are still racist, and we must dismantle them and then rebuild them using construction workers of color. I am gay."

The Department of Transportation confirmed it will spare no resources to make sure America can go another 24 hours without a historic transportation disaster, or maybe at least 12 hours or an hour or two.

At publishing time, Buttigieg had decided to delay his presidential campaign announcement until everyone forgets about this whole thing.

UPDATE: Another train carrying deadly chemicals has derailed.


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GregTx
Professor Guide
1  seeder  GregTx    last year
 
 
 
Thrawn 31
Professor Participates
2  Thrawn 31    last year

Huh, almost makes you think we should invest in improving our infrastructure. 

 
 
 
Ronin2
Professor Quiet
2.1  Ronin2  replied to  Thrawn 31 @2    last year

You would think.

However the rail lines (UP, BNSF, NS, CSX, Etc) actually own the rail lines; and it is their job to maintain and upgrade them.

Maybe they are waiting around for the Fed to give them the money?

 
 
 
Thrawn 31
Professor Participates
2.1.1  Thrawn 31  replied to  Ronin2 @2.1    last year

I know, and that kinda blows. I was actually reading not too long ago about manufacturers complaining about the shitty service they get from rail companies, and how they really have no other options. And it is true, rail companies have zero incentive to provide better service because in most places they are the only game in town. 

And it isn't like a start up can come along because building new rail lines or renting existing ones is so insanely expensive that it cannot be done with government spending (hence the massive rail funding from the federal government in the 1800s). 

Not a lot of options here outside of federal $s and strict rules. 

 
 
 
Ronin2
Professor Quiet
2.1.2  Ronin2  replied to  Thrawn 31 @2.1.1    last year
I was actually reading not too long ago about manufacturers complaining about the shitty service they get from rail companies, and how they really have no other options.

I get to deal with those manufacturers and their customers on a daily basis. Trust me when a bridge washes out in AZ- it affects the rail lines between LA and Chicago/Dallas shutting them down completely. The BNSF and UP must share tracks when that happens- but the delays it causes to the damage rail line are days out.

And it is true, rail companies have zero incentive to provide better service because in most places they are the only game in town. 

That is a major issue; but even if they want to improve problem areas they still have to deal with the EPA; and local/state governments that might be impacted by the improvements. Too much push back and nothing happens.

And it isn't like a start up can come along because building new rail lines or renting existing ones is so insanely expensive that it cannot be done with government spending (hence the massive rail funding from the federal government in the 1800s). 

The only way a start up could move in is by buying up rights to tracks that already exist- or rights to areas the RR's already own for future development. They would still have to jump through all of the same hoops of environmental red tape; and local/state government approvals. 

Which is a major reason the US will never have high speed rail like Japan, Europe, or China. Too many NIMBY's (noise level) for it to ever be approved. 

Not a lot of options here outside of federal $s and strict rules. 

The federal government would have to pay and force everything through for anything to occur. Not going to happen in today's political climate. We are stuck with what we have.

 
 
 
GregTx
Professor Guide
2.2  seeder  GregTx  replied to  Thrawn 31 @2    last year

Huh, I seem to recall a $trillion+ bill that was passed recently. I don't recall anything about rail being in it. Mainly roads and bridges as far as transportation goes. Although that might could help with stuff like this.

I-10 closed in south Tucson, people nearby asked to shelter in place due to nitric acid spill

 
 
 
Thrawn 31
Professor Participates
2.2.1  Thrawn 31  replied to  GregTx @2.2    last year

Sounds like something your local congressman should be advocating, and asking for "pork", for yeah? What an amazing concept, a congressperson actually working for their district over their party.

 
 
 
Thrawn 31
Professor Participates
2.2.2  Thrawn 31  replied to  GregTx @2.2    last year
Huh, I seem to recall a $trillion+ bill that was passed recently. I don't recall anything about rail being in it.

Nope. But it should have been. Maybe we should start pressuring our congressmen. 

Mainly roads and bridges as far as transportation goes. Although that might could help with stuff like this.

And that is what I said... 

And I hope that gets taken care of ASAF. 

 
 
 
Sean Treacy
Professor Principal
3  Sean Treacy    last year

How has he not resigned yet?  His biggest accomplishment was being on maternity leave during the greatest, sustained transportation problem this country has had in decades and nobody even knew he was gone he's so ineffectual. 

 
 
 
Greg Jones
Professor Participates
3.1  Greg Jones  replied to  Sean Treacy @3    last year

But he's got the gay box checked, and in the Biden administration, that's all that's required for the job.

 
 
 
Greg Jones
Professor Participates
3.2  Greg Jones  replied to  Sean Treacy @3    last year

afb021523dAPR-800x0.jpg

 
 
 
Mark in Wyoming
Professor Silent
4  Mark in Wyoming     last year

( in the spirit of satire) ,  but are the PLANES on time ?

 
 
 
afrayedknot
Junior Quiet
5  afrayedknot    last year

Too bad we can’t celebrate 24 hours without another mass shooting…

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Senior Expert
5.1  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  afrayedknot @5    last year

Exactly, what is it about our culture that creates so many desiring to commit mass murder?

 
 
 
Split Personality
Professor Guide
5.1.1  Split Personality  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @5.1    last year

We glorified a hundred years of war which cumulated in the revolution followed by constant wars against the Native Americans, the Cherokee American wars, Tecumseh's wars, the War of 1812, the Northwest Indian wars, the Creek Wars, the First Barbary war, Seminoles, Cayuse, Apache....Yavapai, Yute,  Dakota, Colorado, Snake, Comanche Wars.

We glorified the Civil War and taming the Wild West, continuing a war against the NAs and scattered Confederates who resorted to crime and revenge.

The Spanish American War, The Mexican American War, the Second Barbary War...Formosa, Korea, the Philippines, the Moro rebellion all the while fighting a dozen more NA wars right up through WWI then Nicaragua and Haiti.

I'm exhausted just thinking about it and leaving out a lot.

By the 30's movies were on the way to remind us that the victor gets to write the history.

Within 25 years that was transferred to television which was busy normalizing the Korean Conflict and  WWII

We were raised on Westerns, cowboys and Indians, sheriffs and bad guys, cops and robbers, American military might and righteousness vs the mostly evil Germans.

Because of our unique Second Amendment we have become the Land of the Gun.

More guns than people, raised on television shows that more often than not taught us early on that guns matter.  Guns can make a difference even if that "success" or vengeance is short lived.

Too much? 

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Senior Expert
5.1.2  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  Split Personality @5.1.1    last year
We glorified a hundred years of war which cumulated in the revolution followed by constant wars against the Native Americans, the Cherokee American wars, Tecumseh's wars, the War of 1812, the Northwest Indian wars, the Creek Wars, the First Barbary war, Seminoles, Cayuse, Apache....Yavapai, Yute,  Dakota, Colorado, Snake, Comanche Wars…

In my Ohio public education, I don’t remember glorification of US Wars other the the Revolutionary, Civil, WW I, and WW II.  Maybe your education was different.  Are you talking about Hollywood versus public education?

I'm exhausted just thinking about it and leaving out a lot.l

Get some rest.

Are you blaming Hollywood for our mass murders?

 
 
 
Split Personality
Professor Guide
5.1.3  Split Personality  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @5.1.2    last year
In my Ohio public education, I don’t remember glorification of US Wars other than the Revolutionary, Civil, WW I, and WW II.  

Very similar

Maybe your education was different.  

Mine was a mixture of public, parochial and private schools plus college.

Are you talking about Hollywood versus public education?

Partially.  Where did you learn more?  TV or the classroom?  Books?

Are you blaming Hollywood for our mass murders?

"Hollywood" has definitely had a hand in molding public perceptions over the last 90 years

Viloent video games would be a partial factor also

but the Second Amendment and our interpretations aren't entirely Hollywood's fault.

The purists among us think that a well armed militia now includes the right for a six year old to open carry.

Things can only get worse.

 
 

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