"All SECRETS are in Hunter's LAPTOP!" Nostril Dumb-Bottom
WARNING:
This is a "NEED To Know Only", Super-Duper, Top, Tippy-Top, Inside Scoop, available as a one-time offer for FREE for only $8.00 per month.
If Elon can do it, then so can I, "Nostril Dumb Bottom, Secret Agent, 0 0 6!"
My, Fellow, News Talkers. com-u-nests, as a direct descendant of the notorious, "Illumina-Naughty Boys", I have ways of retrieving hard-to-get TOP SECRET, SUPER-DUPER SECRET Intel (known only to members of our Circle Jerk Klan, "Klues & Klutzes"!
They are graduates of the Intentionally Schooled & Trained, Red-Faced Hill-Billies, known as, the "Dumbest Sons-of-Bitches in the Freaking-Frackin' Universe," according to George Santos, founder, and a recent graduate, currently serving in Congress as Chair of the perennial LIARS COMMITTEE, establish by #45, under his "Make Americanos Grate on Every Freakin' Murikan's Last Nerve".
Folk-laureates, all of the "Super-Duper-Stupid Secrets" in the universe that you have always wanted to know since you were a kid in diapers, still wet behind the ears, can be yours if you know the code, hidden in HUNTER BIDEN's LAPTOP!
So, stop whatever you are doing (picking your nose and wiping it on your clothes) and send that measly $8.00 per month (CASH ONLY) to:
Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo, "Doctored", %The Bird Droppings Institute-A Think Tank Fer Morons, No Idiots, please, Mildew, Ohio, where there are no jobs, not even BLOW JOBS.
HELP OUT an old reprobate, languishing in the Dick Cheney "NURSING HOME Fer WAYWARD REPUBLICANS", where "Waterboarding is a Therapy-Not Torture!"
You'll get answers to questions you have been pondering since you started talking and got beat down for asking, such as:
"Who Killed JFK?"
"Did J. Edgar wears a dress under his suit?"
"Is Putin doing Melanoma or is it an ongoing "Secret Love Affair?"
"Why Does Trump Have an Orange Complexion? Is it the Agent Orange Syndrome fer Cowards?"
"Who will win the 2024 Election, and, Who Will Turn to Snot?"
And, most importantly, "How to keep your Blue Jeans blue!"
Now, Brothers & Sistas of the Corn Hole De Generation, you know who I am talkin' about.
You Right-Wing Nut Jobs, and Left-Wing Liberals, are too lazy to get a Job, that doesn't exist because Billionaires sent them all overseas to COMMUNIST CHINA.
You tear-drop losers are "Killin' Murika Softly with Your Childish Games". KNOCK IT OFF, A--Wipes!
Corn Hole, Fellow News Talkers.com Fiends, is not a "Puss 'N Boots" game for grown-ups, ninnies. You, ding-donging Nut Rods, it's for kids, preschoolers, and children in kindergarten.
Stop staring at the sun, pull your head out of your "tukas" (that round soft thing most of you have been sitting on for much of your worthless lives), and listen up! Must I tell your everything, Jerkwads?
Corn Hole is a game created by Bob Cricket, to help little ones with their "Eye-Hand Coordination", you damn idiots. It is not an Olympic Games competition.
So, get off your lazy arses and get out there in the real world and get yourself a real job that doesn't exist, because RICH BILLIONAIRES sent them all overseas to COMMUNIST CHINA!
If you sign up for our FREE ADVICE fer only $8.00 per month, I will personally make you filthy and rich!
Send CASH!
No damn checks, or those stupid cards, who has time for that. CASH ONLY, and you will be rich as a bitch in a stitch. I guarantee it.
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Buzz of the Orient is a Life Time Member. How did you think he made his money?
teaching English?
Naiveite!
International Smuggling Top-Down Baseball cards to Americanos, more likely!
He didn't. It was dropped on him from a balloon.
Even Donald Trump couldn't steal these SECRETS! Because he is too cheap to pay the $8.00 per month. Don't be another DJT!
I'm on a fixed income
Well, at least it is "fixed". Are you with the MOB?
I used to be until they discovered that I could SPELL and kicked me out. That ended my criminal career, so I turned to politics. It is a much easier scam.
These worldly known Epistles are meant for "intellectuals, disgruntled Know-It-Alls, Moonshiners looking for a Career change, Unqualified Politicians needing Fake Resumes, Distinguished Red Rugs, Red-Faced Rats Ready to Mingle, Dancers with Wolves, and anyone with $8.00 in CASH!
Remember, NewsTalkers, blow before picking!
Don't forget your ID.
What I.D., Vic? I don't exist. I am a figment of me own disturbed mind.
Have you ever thought about what the abbreviation I.D. stands for?
I stands for the letter I and D stands for dentification.
Forgive me Norm.
That is mind-shattering. There is so much I don't know that I now know is wrong.
My LIFE has been re-directed. Thank you, Victor Buddha!
If you would like to send additional cash, please do so, the unenfranchised need to be franchised, too.
Remember, Jesus loves folks who send money to Cons! (He appointed one as POTUS, you know).
Re-Thug-I-KKK-Ans, all the evidence you seek is in Hunter's LAPTOP. Find it and you shall be King or Queen, depending on your choice.
America will NOT be FREE until all QUEERS ARE FREE! - Herchell Walker (Or someone that sounds a lot like him).
Courtesy of Professor Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo (Doctored)
I don't mean to sound mercurial, however, I have noticed that a number of my favorite posters are not sending in their tithes as promptly as they should.
How am I, "Doctored" Jonathan Livingston Lipschitz going to keep up my lavish lifestyle? Have you no sympathy for the UBLER RICH?
$8.00 per month for the privilege of posting FREELY on this highly defamed site, EAT THE PRESS - DO NOT READ IT, is a privilege, not an obligation.
Don't you want to walk on the "Wildside"? (Just to get your "Jones" Wet?)
I am thinking about going "NUTS". Does anyone want to ride with me? It's only $8.00 per month, and you get a year's supply of cheap T-P.
Hurry, send cash NOW!