Powerful: Hunter Joins Protest For Workers' Rights By Going On 8-Hour Crack Strike
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an attempt to both earn some much-needed positive publicity and show his support for workers' rights, Hunter Biden announced he was staging an 8-hour crack strike.
"Workers in this country have to suffer too much," Biden said on the steps of the U.S. Capitol. "I'm using my status as a prominent public figure to draw attention to this crisis. As part of my protest, I will be abstaining from crack cocaine and hookers for 8 hours. Nah, maybe just the crack cocaine."
Hunter's crack strike comes on the heels of Congressman Greg Casar of Texas staging a grueling 8-hour "thirst strike" in which he went entirely without water for an astonishingly small portion of the day. Casar's heroic showing has led to an outpouring of additional strikes to raise awareness for workers' rights. "It's the least I can do," Biden said as he was mentally and physically preparing himself to go without crack for an unprecedented one-third of a day. "If these workers don't get breaks, I'm going to hold back from hitting the pipe. It's only right."
Hunter then sat down on the Capitol steps to begin his strike. After a few minutes, he began sweating and fidgeting noticeably. "Boy, it's really hot out here," he said as he grew increasingly agitated. "This is going to be harder than I thought. Does anyone know a place here at the Capitol where I can score?"
At publishing time, Biden had reportedly sent a few assistants inside the Capitol to ask members of Congress for any crack they had on hand.
He'll be lucky to make it an hour.
Satire is supposed to have a bit of truth and also be funny. This is neither.
You are right. As I said in my comment above Hunter could not go 8 hours without crack or hookers. It is also not funny that anyone much less the president's son is so strung out.
See #1......
Ah, sorry, I find it hilarious.....
Not to some people
Poor thing. You're offended. A joke was made about your favorite crackhead. Bless your heart.
You do know what happens after somebody gets offended don't you?
Not. A. Goddamn. Thing.
It cracked me up.
Apparently he survived the ordeal with no negative effects. It's amazing what the human body can endure when pressed to the limits.
In unrelated news the Mexican cartels are reporting a 40% drop in sales over a 8 hour period.