Gavin Newsom Throws Dart At Board Covered In Black Lesbians To Select Next Senator
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
SACRAMENTO, CA — California Governor Gavin Newsom announced this week he had selected recently-deceased Senator Dianne Feinstein's replacement by throwing a dart at a board full of pre-selected photos of black lesbian women.
"We had binders full of black lesbian women we were just waiting to use," Governor Newsom told reporters. "I really didn't know much about them other than they were, of course, black, and also lesbian. This one, what's her name? Lalapalooza or something? Yeah, whatever. She's fine."
Newsom was seen staring at a large board in his office put together by staffers displaying dozens of photos of black lesbian women before turning around and launching a dart over his shoulder. Without looking back he told his staff he was happy with his pick.
"I think she lives in Maryland or something but whatever. What are my constituents gonna say?" Newsom said. "Does she have any political experience? Is she qualified? Is this going to turn into another Kamala Harris or Ketanji Brown Jackson situation? Maybe. But this one's super pro-abortion and I hear that's polling well with Californians these days…at least the ones who still live here."
Newsom's choice, fundraising mogul and abortion-enthusiast Laphonza Butler, told reporters she's thrilled to represent the great state of California and plans on Googling what a senator does first thing tomorrow morning.
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Nice racist homophobic "satire".
Truly what I'd expect on a hate site. Not cool...
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Hate state? I see why you stick to your groups for the most part.
Thanks for your post John. I find it a little curious that you didn't label it misogynistic as well. Anyway, you have a nice evening.
Wow - that didn't take you long John.
Are there no competent black female Californians capable of being an affirmative action senator? The bar is pretty low, you don’t even have to know how to dress or understand doors to serve as a democrat.
While this seed may be satire, I'm waiting to hear any follow up from Newsom about how he may have broken California law with this selection. Seems her current home of record is Maryland, not California.
She’s there to represent the hundreds of thousands that were smart enough to flee that nut house.
Well if they went to Maryland chances are they're kinda dumb anyway, don't you think?
Lol …. yep.
You think the Right has some shit to say about this? You should see the Left.
Barbara Lee to Newsom: Choosing a Black woman for short-term appointment is ‘insulting’
Column: A solid Senate pick and a craven move by Gavin Newsom
There’s no pleasing some people.
The progressive Left in California is super pissed off that Newsom isn’t appointing Barbara Lee. That’s the black woman they want in the job. This, in spite of the fact that she’s polling a distant third place right now, behind Adam Schiff and Katie Porter. So, you know, screw what the voters might actually want. They want Newsom to go around the voters and appoint Lee.
But Newsom already said he didn’t want to put his hand on the scales by picking someone who is running for the office. That seems like an entirely reasonable policy to me. How can you claim to care about democracy and still want the governor to select the next senator?
Today, they’re complaining that there is no promise from Laphonza Butler to not run. Why should she make any such promise? Is she just supposed to be an obedient tool of the party? It wouldn’t be binding anyway. Biden wasn’t going to run for re-election, and we see how that’s going.
So, today, Gavin Newsom is appointing a young, intelligent, activist black lesbian woman to the Senate and because none of the progressive leadership saw it coming - and can’t control any of it - they’re having conniptions.
If this were about policy, they should be happy.
If this were about representation, they should be happy.
But since it’s about power and control, they’re angry.