Elderly Woman Escapes Nursing Home, Rants About Deprogramming The Populace
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Viewers are perplexed by a CNN television interview featuring a deranged old lady who recently escaped from an elder care facility, angrily ranting about wanting to "deprogram" half of the nation's population.
"They must comply! Deplorables! All of 'em!" the disheveled geriatric growled at the camera while CNN's Christiane Amanpour attempted to de-escalate the situation. "If they don't fall in line, we'll round them up and re-educate them! De-program them! Re-program them! If that doesn't work, then we'll just disappear them! Yes! Yeeeeeeessssssss! Ahahahahahahaha!"
The CNN interview team did their best to remain calm, despite the obvious threat posed by the tottering, decrepit woman. "She may be old and frail, but you can tell she's serious," said one member of the television crew. "We heard she escaped from a nursing home nearby, but you could tell she's terrorized people in the past. Chilling, dangerous stuff. Or maybe she's just completely insane, who knows."
The woman was later restrained by security, sedated by men in white scrubs, and thrown into the back of a waiting van to be returned to the confines of her nursing home. A spokesperson for the facility later made a statement to the press regarding the incident. "Sadly, this has become an ongoing problem with this particular patient," said Eduardo Guerrero. "She goes off her rocker a lot. She even has this crazy notion that she's actually the President of the United States, which we know full well never happened."
At publishing time, CNN advised everyone in the country to be on the lookout, as the crazy woman was believed to making the rounds for more TV interviews.
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Back in my paramedic days went on a call one night to a cat lady's house. It became one of those nightmare calls.
She was long dead and half eaten by a 100 or so cats.
They swarmed us as soon as we opened the door and it was all we could do to get the door shut while maiming/killing a few.
Still like cats myself but there is a but there.
Still have nightmares about that call.
Omg, that sounds horrible! Was it a rural or urban area?
Deprograming = a reeducation camp as they have in China, North Korea and North Vietnam.