Oklahoma student describes school fight the day before their death in new video
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
An Oklahoma student who died the day after a fight at school told police they threw water at three students who had been bullying them and that the students responded by beating them, according to video police released Friday.
The student who died, Nex Benedict, is seen in the video telling an officer that they didn't know the three students who "jumped" them in the bathroom.
Police also released audio of a 911 call from Nex's mother in which she said the 16-year-old's breathing was shallow and their hands were "posturing," which refers to an involuntary movement that can indicate abnormal brain activity.
The video offers a glimpse into the moments before Nex's death on Feb. 8, which has prompted vigils across the country, thousands of social media posts and demands for justice from LGBTQ people, some of whom believe that Oklahoma's anti-LGBTQ policies contributed to an unsafe school climate for students like Nex.
There have been more questions than answers in Nex's case, including whether the fight caused the student's death, why the school didn't contact police following the fight, and even how Nex identified within the LGBTQ community.
Sue Benedict, Nex's mother, told The Independent that Nex "did not see themselves as male or female. Nex saw themselves right down the middle." The family continues to use they/them pronouns for Nex in statements.
The Owasso Police Department said in a statement Wednesday that preliminary information from an autopsy report shows that Nex's death was not the result of trauma. A toxicology exam is still pending, and an official autopsy will be released later.
Police released a series of videos Friday that show the entrance of the school bathroom in the minutes leading up to and following the fight; a school security officer escorting Nex to the nurse's office; Sue walking from the school to her car with Nex; and a police officer interviewing Nex and Sue at Bailey Medical Center after the fight. They also released audio of Sue's call to Owasso police after she took Nex to the hospital following the fight and audio of Sue's 911 call on Feb. 8 just prior to Nex's death.
The various pieces of footage shows Nex walking to the school nurse's office with a school security officer, stopping at a doorway and swaying at one point.
Sue Benedict called police from Bailey Medical Center at 3:31 p.m. on Feb. 7, and an officer interviewed Nex and Sue at the hospital for about 15 minutes, according to body camera footage.
During that interview, Nex told the officer that they met the students in in-school detention, where they had spent the week due to having a vape pen at school. They said the three students had been picking on them and their friends due to the way they dressed, and then when Nex went into the bathroom one of the three students said "something like, 'Why do they laugh like that.'"
"And so I went up there and I poured water on them, and then all three of them came at me," Nex told the officer in the video. "They came at me. They grabbed on my hair. I grabbed onto them. I threw one of them into a paper towel dispenser and then they got my legs out from under me and got me on the ground."
Nex said the girls started beating Nex and then Nex blacked out.
Sue Benedict told the officer she was angry that the school didn't call police, and the officer told her, "Any criminal-type action, the school is supposed to give us a call." The officer said maybe the school "forgot or had other things going on" and that Sue could have called police while at the school.
The officer said he can "do a report for assault and battery against the three students," if that was what Sue wanted, then added: "The courts are going to look at it as it's a mutual fight" because Nex first "assaulted" the three students by throwing the water.
"You made the first jab. It doesn't make it right, but they defended themselves," the officer said. Sue Benedict declined to file charges at the time.
In her 911 call the next day, she said she was worried Nex had a brain injury from the school fight. She said Nex's eyes were rolled in the back of their head and that the teen's breathing was shallow, but she didn't start performing CPR because she didn't think it was necessary, adding that she went to nursing school.
Nex was transported to St. Francis Children's Hospital and pronounced dead.
In a statement Tuesday, Owasso Public Schools said it followed all district protocols, including informing the parents/guardians of students involved in a physical altercation that they have the option to file a police report.
"Should they choose to file a police report, school resource officers are made available to the parents/guardians either at that time or they can schedule an appointment, if they choose, at a later date," the district said. "These practices were followed during this incident."
The district didn't immediately return a request for additional comment.
The Benedict family said that they were "independently interviewing witnesses and collecting all available evidence," according to a statement released Wednesday by their attorney, Jacob Biby.
"While various investigations are still pending, the facts currently known by the family, some of which have been released to the public, are troubling at best," the family said.
The family has not returned requests for additional comment.
Sarah Kate Ellis, the CEO of GLAAD, an LGBTQ media advocacy group, said "it is haunting to hear Nex Benedict, in their own words, describe how school and state leaders failed, at every level of leadership, to keep them safe from bullying and harm. Less than 24 hours later, Nex would collapse and die."
"The release of the chilling 9-1-1 call by Nex's mother, Sue Benedict, school surveillance video, and police body-cam footage of Nex in the emergency room recounting the brutal assault, all point to a clear and catastrophic cascade of failures from a school and state's basic responsibility of safety and care for all young people," Ellis said in a statement Saturday.
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Then the officer should have filed the report, and let the court sort out whether three people attacking one until they black out and later die is a reasonable use of force to defend oneself from getting wet.
Exactly, none of this makes any sense at all.
Can you spell C O V E R U P?
good old boy bullshit...
The only way the right is going to care about Nex Benedict is if they can prove she was killed by an illegal.
What'd the Doc say - male or female?
Why the hype?
Who cares?
Nax, was a Non-Binary Native American "Two Spirit" CHILD...
It should not matter, but they, Nax, was in the bathroom required they use under current Oklahoma law, the Girls Bathroom...
"Was" being the operative word because they are dead after being assaulted and suffering a head injury in a school bullying incident. So far the official autopsy is unavailable and news says it will be possibly SIX MONTHS! All that is known for sure was Nax died within hours and nobody is taking responsibility. Superintendent of Education and Oklahoma Governor Kevin Stitt demonizing them, trans kids, gay teachers and state gop politicians dehumanizing LGBTQ citizens as "Scum" had no impact at all on this tragedy!
/S...
That school sounds like a very hostile environment for Nex and what a shame the police did nothing, absolutely nothing. The other girls started it with their bullying.
It makes no sense to me simply because there is a lack of any information that would help make any sense of the matter.
The cops did as required and took the statement, which is a report, it would have to be who ever the prosecuting attorney is to determine what charges would be filed ,if any at all could or would.
It could be because things are still being investigated there is an absence of information as well.
Some may not like this, but with what is known that is actually relevant, it looks like the highest charge that could be brought would be unintended, involuntary manslaughter, and we have to remember it involves juveniles, which can change things under the law.
Going to have to wait until all the investigations are complete to be able to make any real sense of this.
Another storyline where the initial reporting got all the details wrong to push a politicized narrative. Millions of impressions pushing made up allegations and elected democratic officials amplifying them. The story remains the same
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Why do you all choose to coddle the former 'president' and MAGA who are obviously mentally ill???????
This was a boy in the girls' restroom in violation of Oklahoma law. I had read in another article that the boy was being suspended from school for not following school rules in regards to state law.
There are zero scientific/biological reasons why males should be regarded and treated as females in schools or society. At the very least, it is detrimental to the psychological and physical well-being of females.
Children/adults with gender dysphoria have a mental condition that should be treated by professionals. If the people with gender dysphoria need special accommodations for restrooms and sports then it is up to society to create such accommodations in the same manner that is done for people with other physical/mental handicaps.
In society, we have made it socially unacceptable to appropriate another person's culture. What is the reason behind making it socially acceptable to do the same thing to female gender/culture? The males, who have gender dysphoria, are still a category of the male gender and should be classified and treated as such. To do otherwise, is a complete societal betrayal of all females.
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I thought she was a biological girl. Her mother uses female pronouns, but the press uses the made up ones that just complicate things and makes it hard to even coherently descibe what happened. Using "they" as a singular and a plural is just asinine.
I totally agree.
The press used to have a duty to report the facts instead of obscuring them.
Lol when was that? The media has always reported news to suit their own objectives
The pronouns used to describe them are not 'made up'.
It's not asinine to refer to someone as they prefer.
"They" refers to more than one person.
they pronoun (GROUP)
In basic English, referring to somebody as "they" as you have in your second sentence ("It's not asinine to refer to someone as they prefer.") or when referring to more than 1 person, using the pronoun "They" is acceptable.
When using it to refer, as this idiot was, is not acceptable. To many, it could be a sign of mental illness. To many it is a sign of a lack of knowledge of basic biology and use of the English language.
Nex was born female, and identified as non-binary. Nex was in the bathroom required by Oklahoma law.
These kinds of things put targets on these folks backs. It seems others won't let other folks 'live and let live' and are worried about where people are going to the bathroom. Seems there are a lot more important things to worry about - like being killed for being who you are.
Thank you for correcting me. The internet is full of incorrect information.
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Even if they were not they did not deserve to be murdered...
No one deserves to be murdered.
Was Nex murdered?
Yes
One of Oklahoma's State Senators calls LGBTQ+ people filth after the death/murder of this non-binary student. Sounds like the killers of this person in the restroom have the same mindset, and many others.
The scumbag senator's name is Tom Woods (R)what a shocker!).
Of course Nex was murdered - those bigoted and hateful girls' actions led to her death so yes, Nex was MURDERED.
Plus three against one ganging up on one person - how fair
Agreed.
Last year their obviously bigoted gop super majority introduced 35 anti-LGBTQ+ bills last year and 54 this year.
So you compare these folks to those appropriating others' cultures?
See 5.1 and 5.3.1
"Seems there are a lot more important things to worry about - like being killed for being who you are."
It seems for some it is more important to worry about people pretending to be something they are not, instead of accepting who they are. Supporting these deluded and mentally messed up individuals with "gender affirming care" is the worse thing that can be done with them.
Definitely. There are lawsuits being brought my adults who were rushed into "transitioning" as teens instead of receiving the proper counseling of first working through the myriad of psychological issues before being put on hormone therapy or physical altering surgeries.
It is really not possible to understand the issues these people experience, but the so-called professionals seem to be into using these people as another source of monetary gain.
I really don't understand what other people are gaining by promoting abusing people with gender dysphoria or making them their political poster child.
No one was 'rushed into transitioning as teens'.
Of course they were.
It seems for some it is more important to worry about what other people are doing rather than minding their own fucking business. It isn't up to you anyone else to define how a person thinks of themselves.
Supporting people is called kindness. Right wing populists should try kindness instead of trying to micro manage other people's lives.
That is certainly true.
It isn't up to anybody to tell me how I must perceive or think of someone or what I must support, either.
Maybe go back and read the Sermon on the Mount....since they're all such good Christians
Naturally not. All I'm saying is these kids aren't anyone's business but their parents, but whole states have build a political machine to demonize them.
I'm sure they would twist even that to mean they are free to be shitty to people they don't want.
The hypocrisy of this statement would be difficult to overstate. The LGTBQ and related organizations have been for years attacking and smearing anyone who does not agree with their lifestyle or agendas. They try to cancel anyone, even businesses, that oppose their views. They are doing everything they can to shape society in their image, employing any method they can devise, such as indoctrinating children even from kindergarten if they can, to get what they want.
The statement displays further hypocrisy by implying that no one who thinks differently has any say in what society should be and if they do it's just them being "shitty to people they don't want". Just because you don't agree with the other side doesn't mean they have no right or say in determining how our society should be.
Lastly, it is hypocritical because you're doing exactly what you excoriate the other side for.
It's not a 'lifestyle'
There is no 'agenda'
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Their "agenda" is to be treated with dignity and respect. If one can't do that they deserve the smearing.
I'm sure all the drag queens in the US appreciate your continued support as red states keep trying to find ways to cancel them.
Hmmm...indoctrinating children? Isn't "One nation under God." Christian indoctrination? Isn't "Intelligent Design" in a biology text book indoctrination? Hmmm... what are LGBTQA+ people trying to make children think? That if Jenny or Billy has two mommies or two daddies that Billy shouldn't be bullied? Why is it okay for a straight teacher to keep a photo of them and their spouse on their desk, but it's not okay for a gay teacher to do the same? I can recall several teachers getting caught trying to have sex with students that are straight, but not too many who are gay. Perhaps you can correct me on that with some links maybe? Otherwise clarify your claim.
You are still free to "hate the gays" if you want to, the state should not be free to criminalize them or ban their lifestyle. They aren't trying to pass laws outlawing Sunday School. They aren't trying to pass laws saying all religious people should not be allowed to get married, have children or display pride their religion. They aren't saying straights should be mocked, bullied and assaulted for daring to walk down the street holding hands. What is it you specifically want to deny others?
I specifically called out shitty people saying shitty things. I did not call out everyone who disagrees with me. If one uses the bible to vocally shit on other people they deserve to be called out as shitty people for twisting and misrepresenting the Word to sow hate.
Ahhh... If you want to brand me as hypocritical because I dislike shitty people twisting what I was raised to believe was the Word of a loving and accepting deity into something ugly and profane then so be it.
Hmmm...I'm all for free speech and people living their lives the way they want to. People are allowed to be as shitty as they want to be to other people, however, they can't expect to not get some blow back for being a shitty human being.
If I were to call you a name, you, Evil, have every right to call me a name right back. In this scenario I'm the shitty person and you are defending yourself and all others you may identify with my insult.
A certain segment of people find it convenient to blame the victim. It's not a logical argument and doesn't require a lot of thought. Perhaps if they were to follow the logic it may make them second guess their attitudes and maybe even some of their life choices.
Like Elvis Costello said 'what's so funny about peace, love, and understanding'?
Some folks claim they're looking for extra rights, or special rights. No, just EQUAL.
It's all about feelings. Laws be damned.
Only if that culture is part of the "protected" class.
Which is why defense lawyers do their best to select jurors with biases that might exonerate their clients of their crimes regardless of the facts or the crime.
There is new television program in Britain that has actors play out a previous trial for two groups of jurors. The program then shows how the people on the jury go about deciding on a verdict. I am making note of the program and will be looking for reviews and how to possibly access the program via subscription.
No one is exempt from feelings except possibly psychopaths. This is why I spend most days researching human psychology and try to share some of what I have read and watched.
Stellar example of a man, in a very important position in the US judicial system, making a decision and then reversing it based on his feelings.
I agree. But people need to be able to remove their feelings as part of the critical thinking process. Sadly many can't.
I just heard about Adrian this morning. I'm pretty sure there are many so called "judges" that should face the same fate.
In society, we have made it socially unacceptable to appropriate another person's culture.
"Cultural Appropriation"???
(After clicking link, scroll down and click on speaker icon lower right for sound):
In the mid-80's Paul Simon released Graceland and was guilty not only cultural appropriation but exploitations of South African music and musicians largely unknown in the USA.
He heard a bootleg tape of Gumboots Accordion Jive Vol 2, and decided to steal that music to make some dollars.
Many here were rightly outraged. It didn't matter what the SA artists participating thought, Hugh Masekela, Miriam Makeba, and Ladysmith Black Mambazo just didn't know enough to feel the same outrage as was felt here.
It seems like some in Maryland, obviously repukes, are now trying to deny needed health care to these folks also. I'm really disappointed in whatever scumbag(s) is/are denying folks needed care, while essentially putting targets on their backs as well.
Deplorable.
Republicans hold no power in MD, look at who does.
The article is about an incident in OKLAHOMA. Please try to keep up.
As adults, are we responsible to counsel and understand other people's mental disorders? Or is best to just avoid them so we don't make a bad situation worse for them and us?
If an adult rejects socializing with a person with any mental disorder, is the adult responsible for the other person's life in any way?
Expecting teenagers to understand the mental disorders of others is not logical. Expecting them to deal with classmates who are struggling to understand their own personality is a bridge too far. Put the blame where it lies. On our government for not funding accessible mental health care to the children who need to.
Nex was failed by the adults who don't demand funding for school counselors. Nex was failed by her parents if they did not seek individual and family counseling.
Just a partial list of disorders the majority of people have no understanding of unless themselves or a loved one has been diagnosed with it.
For what purpose did you post all of this?
So people that wished could possibly learn something
As adults, we have people we don't agree with and verbally fight with if we have to be in same room so we do our best to avoid those people because we know that we don't like one another for whatever reason.
It is a skill that we must teach teenagers - proper boundaries. I don't believe anyone should be taught to "respect" others, but they should be courteous if at all possible until they can escape their antagonist's presence.
As an atheist, I don't enjoy being browbeaten by any religious person trying to teach me why I am an awful sinner who deserves to be cast in a lake of fire for eternity. In all honesty, I didn't enjoy it when I was a child and a "Christian" either. As an adult, I don't have to tolerate their presence or their bullshit. If they choose to harass me, I know they are batshit crazy so even though I feel no obligation to even be courteous, I am courteous and look for more ways to avoid them.
I have empathy for the people who need counseling. Any sympathy I have for them ends when they demand that non-qualified people are responsible to understand things beyond their capabilities.
The people with gender dysphoria are not victims. They are people who need professional guidance to understand themselves and perhaps the basics of human interaction would be highly beneficial to them. There is no reason to make them center stage in our lives. They should have no more and no less than the same rights and privileges as the other 8 billion people on the planet.
Yet it appears that they have no rights and privileges at all according to their own Senator. These LGBTQ+ and non-binary people.
Batshit crazy. lol
You got that right.
That is a load of bull.
It takes absolutely no effort at all to not torment somebody different from yourself. None. Nobody asked them to "deal with" Nex. They could have just left Nex alone.
This comment is a defense of bullying.
I agree.
Clarification: I will restate what I wrote in my previous comment which was after this statement.
I don't believe anyone should be taught to "respect" others, but they should be courteous if at all possible until they can escape their antagonist's presence.
Aren't you a moderator on this site and hand out tickets to adults who can't be civil to each other and refuse to ignore one another?
Some people will never reach the level of maturity to communicate within the "rules" of society or Newstalkers.
Personally, I am enjoying the use of the ignore feature because I prefer avoidance to confrontation when at all possible.
Also, while I agree that is what should have happened, I will share that I became aware of the harmful effects of shunning because a friend's husband left his family's Jehovah Witness religion.
Shunning is cruel because it involves pretending the other person does not exist at all. Narcissists use it as a form of punishment referred to as the silent treatment. Introverts can use it as a normal part of life because they prefer what is happening internally to anything happening in the external world.
Nex could have been needing attention and validation for being "different" from everyone else around her. She could have felt tormented if people actually did not acknowledge her "specialness". She could have been doing things to draw attention to herself - even negative attention so she felt like she mattered. Because it is possible that the vast majority of the school had shunned interacting with her, we may never know any day-to-day details of Nex's interactions with school peers.
I won't bother with links or videos on the harmful aspects of being shunned.
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"The adults bully, so we can't expect kids not to bully/kill other kids" is another defense of bullying.
We absolutely can and should expect better. Throwing our hands in the air while scapegoating the victim for being different is not a valid option.
Any evil can be excused this way by some. Racially-motivated violence. Domestic violence. Genocide.
Another who is ignoring me while not ignoring me
lol
That's a false dichotomy. Their choices weren't "shun Nex" and "attack Nex".
No, it just an observation that it happens and to date no resolution has been found.
So how is this problem solvable or is it?
Should all the choices be in the school handbook as directives on how and who to interact with and what the penalties will be if someone is offended by not being acknowledged in their preferred way as a "he, him, she, her, they, them, and whatever else"?
I'd say the solution is pretty easy, really. "Kids, we don't hit/kick/choke/throw things at people, and we don't pick on them for being different from ourselves."
Most kids, I've found, are pretty receptive to that.
For those who aren't receptive, there are consequences for violence.
You're moving the goalposts. You're the only one who has mentioned Nex being offended about pronouns.
This still reads like a defense of bullying.
I agree. That is the basics of being courteous to others.
But what to do about people rejecting interacting or acknowledging other people? Is ignoring them completely acceptable or unacceptable?
Nobody asked them to interact with Nex. They were merely in the same school. They chose to interact negatively. I'm sure, given the outcome of that interaction, Nex and their family would have been fine with them not interacting with Nex at all. Most people would rather be ignored than beaten and killed by people they only encounter due to geographical proximity.
I don't know about Nex's feelings or demands about pronoun use. I think as a problem solver because I am conflict avoidant. I was trying to go one step further and solve the problem to make suggestions on the rules that must be included in school handbooks so everyone knows how not to offend the people who have mental disorders in their school should they be forced to interact with them.
There is a link between Gender Identity Disorder and Schizophrenia (and bi-polar and other mental disorders).
To be fair and balanced, whoever is responsible for writing the school handbooks needs to be able to protect everyone from being harmed.
Totally agree.
What was the cause of death?
Only thing I have seen is the police have stated that cause of death does not appear to be related to the fight.
Which raises some questions for me, but those can only be answered by an autopsy.
Perhaps too much early speculation.
That doesn't make the attack ok.
No shit!
Went back and looked at what I posted, didn't see where it said that made the fight ok.
If that's how you read what I posted , then I can say you were wrong and misread the intent of the post, that's on you not me.
I simply relayed what I read that the police investigating have released, and even that release didn't say it was ok either.
Like I said , I have any number of questions, we all just have to wait for the official release says , even if it's already been said the determination will be a cover up.
The family is getting an new unbiased inquiry. How many otherwise healthy teens bang their head and then die of unrelated causes the next day?
As I think they should if they disagree with current findings and what is being said about the same.
I have already said, many questions have risen in my mind, I just have to wait for the final outcome to see if they are answered in a satisfactory manner.
I also think any questions I have are speculatory at best,so rather than inflame the situation and or discussion , it's best I keep them to myself and let things play out the way they will.
I highly doubt Nex's death had nothing to do with trauma. I would bet that being savagely beaten by three others, three on one, had a hell of a lot to do with it.
If I was Nex's family, I would have an independent autopsy done.
Thanks, those videos are totally unnecessary, like the others.
Sounds like the school was an extremely hostile environment for Nex.
The ones that have had enough and can't stand it anymore? You know, suicidal ones.
We aren't talking about suicidal people, but since you brought it up - one would have to ask with all the love and compassion the holy rolling populist red states are currently showing these children why they would feel suicidal? I mean the definition of "being bullied" is about acceptance and affirmation, right? /dripping with sarcasm.
Be better - especial when we are talking about children.
EXACTLY. The school and the whole state sounds very hostile to people like Nex. I think their scummy senators and those who bullied and beat the shit out of Nex and the whole school and state have no clue what tolerance is. Such ignorance and hatred from their own representatives calling them filth.
Yeah, what a shocker one might want to end their life amongst such acceptance and tolerance and inclusion
That was my point, even though you left off the sarc tag. Being bullied and beaten up could trigger such emotion in a teen or even younger.
yeah, they should go talk to the school counselor and then go visit the army recruiter and get straightened out. /s
What the fuck does that even mean
Rambling, incoherent thoughts?
As is normal
rac = regular army clown
I think you're right about having an independent autopsy. A healthy 16 year old doesn't just keel over.
Please don't belittle soldiers. Thanks in advance
I would never belittle a service person that still honored his/her oath to defend the constitution.
My apologies. I know you wouldn't.
Each branch of the service has their own nicknames for the other branches so I'm not innocent
my extended family covered almost all the bases up until recently. I got to hear all the names, but all in good fun.
I listened to the full police interview and then the 911 call that was been released. The one linked to this piece was heavily edited.
Nex was taking two prescriptions that were named in the 911 call. I remember at least one was for anxiety. Maybe both were. I did not write them down or I would list them and their possible side effects here.
My co-worker, who died of a brain aneurism, was taking a prescription for depression that listed a side effect of possible brain aneurism. She died on the toilet trying to have a bowel movement. Another side effect might have been constipation. It has been almost 3 decades and this is one the events in life that I try to forget and never discuss. Studies show that our brain doesn't actually remember our history. When we think of something, the event is re-created from scratch and may not be totally accurate. Also, it is not intelligent to keep re-creating traumatic events and re-living the pain. This causes both mental and physical damage to our bodies unless we are wired to thrive from trauma.
the elvis exit ramp...
king dies on throne... news at 11...
Which is why most people avoid people with doom and gloom personalities to avoid being traumatized by them in the first place.
I looked for information on counseling for teens to build self-esteem.
I wish that this type of counseling was available to everyone throughout life who desires it. I think that it is vital that such counseling is made available to every child having societal issues in school whether it is anger management or just struggling to find themselves.
Hopefully, even if a school does not have a therapist, they could have counselors to direct parents to videos and books to help their children develop better self-esteem.
This therapist has several videos. This is the only one I watched.
Totally unnecessary.
Why, is there something wrong about seeing a therapist that may help you navigate a problem?
Therapy has been a large part of US culture since at least the 70s when "I'm Ok, You're OK" was on the bestseller list for two years. I read this one when I was a teen.
In 1993, "Men are Mars, Women are from Venus" became a bestseller because men and women struggle to understand each other. This is probably one I should have read when it came out. I suspect I would have remained single if I had waded through it. Most men are just too much work for me. I am a happy hermit the majority of the time. This is a trend for many men and women retirees currently.
And then is always "How to Win Friends and Influence People" that some people might find beneficial. I read this one decades ago.
People struggling to make sense of their own lives and relationships is nothing new.
There is an estimated yearly growth of 200,000 opening annually in mental health fields. This is why I keep recommending therapy for everyone who needs it. It doesn't matter how much a person cares about someone else when they have no clue on how to help them. Also, listening to someone complain endlessly is detrimental to anyone who has to listen to it. This is one of the reasons why positive people are popular and negative people are not.
We have AA available for alcoholics. We have Al-Anon for the families of alcoholics. These groups are for people who live shared experiences. These groups are FREE. I am sure they save lives every single day. I only wish I had had the courage to go to Al-Anon meetings. I might not have wasted 9 years of my life being married to an alcoholic. Even worse, I am still struggling to forgive myself for putting my kids through that experience.
The saying what doesn't kill you makes you stronger - probably true, but with every cell in my body I never wish to see anyone suffer abuse. I cannot and will not share many personal stories on the internet. But because strangers on the internet have helped me understand much of what I did not, I just try to do the same by advocating that children have access to free counseling. I will repeat we have AA /Al-Anon available for people who have similar experiences. I don't believe that similar groups for children are probably a good idea because they will gossip in the community and possibly cause further damage. They need access to people who can listen, guide them and not have their pain splashed across the school.
I needed some comedy today and hadn't watched Craig Ferguson for a year or two. I had never seen the following monolog.
Getting counseling has lost the stigma it once had so I am glad it is available. Unfortunately since wanting to transition is not seen as a problem for minors it seems more and more parents would rather take transitioning as a first step instead of a last step.
I would hope so. When a work colleague, aged 31, died of a brain aneurism, our department was offered grief counseling. She was not only on my team, she had been my neighbor and also on my bowling team. People seemed to think it was strange because I refused to talk about her. Problem was I knew what no one else did. She was extremely unhappy in her marriage and was cheating on her husband....and other things. I was tired of keeping her secrets that I did not want to know in the first place. I sincerely hoped she was at peace, but I had never asked to be her teammate, and certainly not her confessor.
Another teammate (male, aged 38) was being used in much the same way by a married woman in her 20s who had severe depression. One afternoon, she told him that she was going home to commit suicide. I had thought it strange that she would hang around his desk, but I had never pried. He and I were not close, but worked comfortably together. That day, he told me that she had been driving him up a wall with her personal problems for months, and he did not know how to get rid of her. And then told me about her suicide threat. I told him that he had to tell the head of personnel. We both knew her well enough to know she would handle the issue appropriately and discreetly. However, he balked and said he could not get involved. I told him he was already involved, but the biggest problem he needed to ask himself was if he could live with himself if she succeeded.
After he left for the day, I checked with personnel to verify that he had done the right thing. He had. In hindsight, he might have wanted me to go to personnel so he did not have to or most likely, he really was so traumatized that he was in shock. I was rarely shocked and usually went straight to problem-solving mode.
The rest of the story. The woman went home, got drunk, called her husband, threatened suicide. This was not the first time. He called the appropriate people and got her help she needed. I don't remember if she ever returned to our department again.
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So many people here form hard opinions long before the investigation or even an autopsy is completed. We don't know the cause of death. We know he walked to the school nurses office on his own and the police body cam showed no injuries. They have ruled out trauma as the cause of death.
I think it's also safe to assume that the parents will have an independent autopsy performed as well.
But you are very correct. So many like to jump to a conclusion based on their bias rather than wait for all the information to be brought out. I guess it's part of societies need for instant gratification.
Yeah, the school, the state, their own senators have laws against them. How unbiased.
How in the fuck does that have anything to do with my comment?
Figure it out. It's not hard.
No, you need to explain it. It's not so good that it deserves to be posted twice and it has absolutely nothing to do with my post of 10.1.
I posted those comments twice by mistake, I am restricted from editing my comments. I tried to ask Perrie in a PN to delete the repeat comments but she didn't understand. Maybe now she will delete the repeat comments.
I repeat, figure it out, it's not hard.
Ok, then the only understandable thing I can pull out is that it had absolutely nothing to do with my comment and it was purely snark from you.
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