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Biden Visits Border To Cut Ribbon For Official Border Grand Opening

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  gregtx  •  10 months ago  •  11 comments

Biden Visits Border To Cut Ribbon For Official Border Grand Opening
BROWNSVILLE, TX — In a long-awaited move expected to generate some attention, President Joe Biden arrived at the southern U.S. border today to cut the ribbon for its official Grand Opening.

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T


BROWNSVILLE, TX — In a long-awaited move expected to generate some attention, President Joe Biden arrived at the southern U.S. border today to cut the ribbon for its official Grand Opening.

Alongside representatives from the Border Patrol and other government dignitaries, Biden presided over the ceremonial ribbon-cutting to signify that the border between Mexico and Texas was now recognized as fully open for travel.

"Come one, come all," Biden said as he snipped the blue ribbon with scissors. "Listen up, folks. We've put a lot of work into this moment. There were some people who didn't want to wait for the grand opening. That's alright. They're still… they're still… it's ok if they… we're fine. I'm proud to declare the border officially open. Come on in and enjoy the festivities. Ice cream."

Biden made his visit to the border town of Brownsville, which has seen a steady trickle of border crossers, and insisted that the border had remained closed until this ceremony. "To say that we've had an open border is a bunch of malarkey," he said. "My opponent is supposedly visiting some place called Eagle Pass today, where they claim tens of thousands of migrants enter the country every month. We know that's false. 'Eagle Pass' sounds like a made-up town, anyway. Where's Jill? Is this Canada?"

Biden then wandered away from reporters and was last overheard demanding to speak with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.

At publishing time, officials estimated there were approximately 5,369 new migrants who crossed the border during Biden's speech.


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GregTx
Professor Guide
1  seeder  GregTx    10 months ago

512

 
 
 
Just Jim NC TttH
Professor Principal
2  Just Jim NC TttH    10 months ago

256

 
 
 
Robert in Ohio
Professor Guide
3  Robert in Ohio    10 months ago

Hilarious if it were not so true - the dueling visits by Trump and Biden were so obviously nothing more than photo ops that it would be hilarious if it were not so sad.

I love your metaphor of a "ribbon cutting" ceremony

 
 
 
charger 383
Professor Silent
4  charger 383    10 months ago

Also all past, current and future border crossers will get many free gifts curtesy of the US Taxpayer.

And he is restocking the free official commemorative tee shirt, sure to be a collector's item.       

 
 
 
GregTx
Professor Guide
4.1  seeder  GregTx  replied to  charger 383 @4    10 months ago

512

 
 
 
Vic Eldred
Professor Principal
4.1.1  Vic Eldred  replied to  GregTx @4.1    10 months ago

That's a real picture. One that is worth a thousand words.

 
 
 
JBB
Professor Principal
5  JBB    10 months ago

I get it. As a political issue the border is really just a big joke to the gop. The gop has no intention of doing a damn thing about immigration reform bcause that is the only thing MAGA have left to bitch about. Butt...

original

 
 
 
GregTx
Professor Guide
5.1  seeder  GregTx  replied to  JBB @5    10 months ago

jrSmiley_123_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Ronin2
Professor Quiet
5.2  Ronin2  replied to  JBB @5    10 months ago

The Republican House have passed a border security bill.

Ask fucking Schumer why he is sitting on it?

The Senate has passed none. Their BS "bipartisan" keep the border open bill died in the Senate.

 
 
 
Gsquared
Professor Principal
6  Gsquared    10 months ago

Trump visited the border, too, and The Border Patrol warned everyone to watch their wallets.

 
 
 
Ronin2
Professor Quiet
6.1  Ronin2  replied to  Gsquared @6    10 months ago

Brandon visited Brownsville, TX a place the Texas governor Abbott has secured with razor wire and has seen very few border crossings because of it. He can't have hoards of illegals getting in the way of his photo op.

The same razor wire that Brandon's DOJ is fighting furiously in court to have removed.

The secret service had to screen border patrol agents to find the most liberal ones possible; and the ones with the highest gag reflexes to listen to the president's speech.

 
 

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