╌>

Poilievre throws hat in the ring to be Trump VP pick

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  hallux  •  2 months ago  •  9 comments

By:   JEN MACINTYRE - The Beaverton

Poilievre throws hat in the ring to be Trump VP pick

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T


PALM BEACH, FL — Following weeks of speculation about who Republican presidential nominee Donald   Trump   will choose to run with him as VP, reporters and political junkies have been thrown a curve ball with Canada’s Progressive Conservative Party leader Pierre Poilievre’s surprise announcement that he would be honoured to take on the role.

“Thanks to Justin Trudeau’s disastrous leadership, the Canadian people need someone who can stand up to woke extremists now more than ever, which is why I would be honoured to stand with Mr. Trump as his Vice President,” Poilievre stated at a Mar-a-Lago fundraiser, where he made his announcement.

Whether the new move is an attempt to appeal to conservative Canadian voters, raise his international profile, or just expand his options, Poilievre stated he is confident that as Vice President of the United States he can “axe the   Liberals ’ carbon tax, fix the   housing   crisis in Southern   Ontario , and unite Canadians in building a better tomorrow.”

While some commentators were taken aback by Poilievre’s move, many praised the political savvy of pursuing office in a right-wing US government.

“Look, why don’t you come up with a better way to thread the needle between appealing to Maxime Bernier voters and not getting yourself endorsed by Alex Jones,” strategist Jim Bleun stated.

“Plus have you tried paying attention to Canadian   politics ? It is sooooo much less interesting than American politics. This is honestly the best way to get on the   CBC   at this point.”

Reached for comment, incumbent Prime Minister Justin Trudeau reportedly stated “How would that   work ? Would he like, be Prime Minister too? Should I be applying for this?” and then promised to do better in the future.

Meanwhile, insiders say the Trump campaign is seriously considering Poilievre for the VP slot. “I think he could help appeal to the demographic of guys who are looking to channel their anger in destructive ways but aren’t quite dumb enough to like RFK,” staffer Tim Swoil stated. “Plus Poilievre is smart, self-made, and way shorter than Mr. Trump, which is important.”

“And even if he doesn’t actually represent one of the 50 states, he could be very helpful in securing hometown pride votes. In focus groups 96% of the people who saw a picture of him thought he was ‘that guy I went to high   school   with who was a little to invested in getting the gym teacher’s approval.’”

At press time, Donald Trump had reportedly gone out of his way to greet Poilievre after confusing him for Marco Rubio.


Tags

jrDiscussion - desc
[]
 
Hallux
PhD Principal
1  seeder  Hallux    2 months ago

Do not be fooled by their last names,  Pierre Poilievre and Mike Johnson are indeed twins ... although both their mothers claim a single father and both their fathers claim a single mother.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
1.1  devangelical  replied to  Hallux @1    2 months ago

all it takes is a plane ticket to miami, knee pads, goggles, and a plastic bib...

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
1.1.1  Tessylo  replied to  devangelical @1.1    2 months ago

I bet they swallow for their lord and master

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
1.1.2  Trout Giggles  replied to  devangelical @1.1    2 months ago

goggles? Is that so you don't get jizz in the eyes? I hear it burns

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
1.1.3  Tessylo  replied to  Trout Giggles @1.1.2    2 months ago

jrSmiley_91_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
1.2  Tessylo  replied to  Hallux @1    2 months ago

Wow, what a spineless Canadian weasel, a new breed, looks like Johnson's twin.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
2  Trout Giggles    2 months ago
Plus have you tried paying attention to Canadian   politics ? It is sooooo much less interesting than American politics. This is honestly the best way to get on the   CBC   at this point.”

I dunno....seems like there is some fuckery afoot in Canadian politics

 
 
 
Hallux
PhD Principal
2.1  seeder  Hallux  replied to  Trout Giggles @2    2 months ago
some fuckery afoot in Canadian politics

Much less ever since Ben Dover and Phil MacCavity resigned from the Rhinoceros Party.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
3  Kavika     2 months ago

As Mr P lumbers through the Canadian wilderness he does a spectacular pratt fall where his head ends up stuck up his ass and Trump anoints him '' The US First Asshole where he will oversee Trumps DEI program.

 
 

Who is online



28 visitors