1. *My mother taught me* *TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE* . "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. *My mother taught me RELIGION*. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 3. *My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL*. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock You into the middle of> next week!" 4. *My father taught me LOGIC*." Because I said so, that's why." 5. *My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .*"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, You're not going to the store with me." 6. *My mother taught me FORESIGHT*. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case You're in an accident." 7. *My father taught me IRONY*. "Keep crying, And I'll give you something to cry about." 8.*My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .*"Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 9. *My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM*. "Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?" 10. *My mother taught me about STAMINA*. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 11. *My mother taught me about WEATHER*. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 12. *My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY*. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 13. *My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE*."I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..." 14. *My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION *.Stop acting like your father!" 15. *My mother taught me about ENVY*. "There are millions of less fortunate children in This world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 16. *My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION*. "Just wait until we get home." 17. *My mother taught me about RECEIVING*. "You are going to get it from your father When you get home!"18. *My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE*. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, They are going to get stuck> that way." 19. *My mother taught me ESP*. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know When you are cold?" 20. *My father taught me HUMOR.* "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, Don't come running to me." 21. *My mother taught me**HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .*"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 22. *My mother taught me GENETICS*. "You're just like your father." 23. *My mother taught me about my ROOTS*. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 24. *My mother taught me WISDOM*. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand. 25. *My father taught me about JUSTICE .* "One day you'll have kids, And I hope they turn out just like you !"
I'm sure everyone has heard at least one of these!
Who has said any of these to their children???
LOL...Come to think of it...I occasionally hear my daughter say a few things that I used to say to my grand daughters!! Funny!!
lol...Or "Eat all of your food...there are people in China that are starving" ... I would mutter...(well, then send t to them)
Unfortunately Maury Povich can only identify one daddy at a time.
Because he has the results!
My father taught me the value of a nickel. My brother would cry to my father that I hit him for nothing. My father told my brother to give me a nickel.
ROFL !!
Dear Friend Nona62: I told my son and daughter that they should avoid aging.
There is no money in it.
Enoch.
Or The Guilt Trip: That Chicken/Cow/Pig gave it's life for you to eat.
UGH. That's a nightmare I only HOPE I've never said!
You know, my Grandma used to praise me for memorizing poems, for me to "recite" to her friends at the bridge club. I guess that is how she was taught in the late 1890s. As a result, I do have quite a few little "ditties" stuffed away in my brain that I can take out, every now and then, and enjoy... This was one of my favorites...
Henry King-- Hillare Belloc
The chief defect of Henry King was chewing little bits of string.
At last he swallowed some which tied itself in ugly knots inside.
Physicians of the utmost fame, were called at once, but when they came,
they answered as they shook their head, Henry King will soon be dead.
His parents stood about his bed, lamenting his untimely death, when Henry King, with latest breath
cried, "Oh my friends, be warned by me! Breakfast, dinner, lunch, and tea
are all the human frame requires." With that, the wretched child expires...
I memorized all kinds of things to "recite", and the old ladies, whom I loved with all my heart, were so sweet! They loved them all...
I said the same thing! I even brought Mom a box and started emptying my plate! I had one upset Mom that night! BTW "our" starving children lived in India.
Perhaps in the vernacular one might call it "home schooled" but it's really no more than responsible child rearing....or lack of it as we are now witnessing.
lol Dear friend Enoch...I used to tell my daughters that the early bird catches the worm, so they told me that they planned on being late from then on.
ROFL !!
(snicker) Good one Dear Dowser!!
I thought it was funny!
My parents taught us how to be back-seat drivers, "Don't make me pull this car over!"
:~)
ROFL !! I can't count how many times I said that to my daughters!! ( I actually pulled over and told them to get out, they thought I was serious and started t get out!!)!)
My mom taught me the ugliness of envy. That it's just as easy to see how many people are poorer than you as it is to see how many have more, and to be grateful for what you have.
This is true Aeon.
Very good lesson!! YEAH MOM!!
Oh dear! Nona, I am terrified! I think I may have said some of those things to my children...
lol....Neetu, I think most parents have said at least one of them...they really aren't bad, I think they are funny!! Not to worry!!
I think the worst I may have said might be, "You are just like your father!" - As long as it isn't true, I will call it funny.
lol...Not to worry,!!
Dear Neetu!
We all say things.... This video is hilarious and I hope you enjoy it! My personal favorite is, "Go put your sweater on, I'm cold."
OMG!!That was hysterical!! Thanks!! ((Dowser ))
I posted it to the front page... Maybe we can get people's mind off politics... HAHAHA
ROFL !!! Good strategy!!