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ABC News Argues 9/11 Overblown As It Was 'Only A Handful Of Buildings'

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  gregtx  •  one month ago  •  5 comments

ABC News Argues 9/11 Overblown As It Was 'Only A Handful Of Buildings'
U.S. — In a tense exchange with Vice Presidential candidate J.D. Vance, ABC news anchor Martha Raddatz argued that the tragedy of September 11th had been way overblown since it only involved a handful of buildings.

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T


U.S. — In a tense exchange with Vice Presidential candidate J.D. Vance, ABC news anchor Martha Raddatz argued that the tragedy of September 11th had been way overblown since it only involved a handful of buildings.

"They only hit three buildings, and you're calling this a major issue?" asked Raddatz, incredulous. "You realize I can literally count on one hand how many planes were hijacked. Stop making 9/11 out to be such a big deal."

Senator Vance vainly attempted to argue that terrorists hijacking planes and crashing them into buildings was still a serious issue, even if only a few buildings were hit. "I don't know how to put this more plainly, Martha, but 9/11 was bad," said Vance. "The number of buildings involved is really not the determinant of how serious an issue is. I can't believe I'm having to explain this."

Despite Vance's best efforts, Raddatz remained unmoved. "You're blowing a tiny little issue like 9/11 way out of proportion for nothing but cynical political gain," said Raddatz. "Classic Republican strategy, making mountains out of little molehills, like a mere TWO towers. Disgusting."

At publishing time, Raddatz had sat with her mouth agape for thirty minutes after Vance asked if January 6th was therefore not a big deal since only one building was involved.


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GregTx
Professor Guide
1  seeder  GregTx    one month ago

512

 
 
 
Dismayed Patriot
Professor Quiet
1.1  Dismayed Patriot  replied to  GregTx @1    one month ago

Good question. How anyone thinks this is funny is truly sad and the Bee putting words in a newscasters mouth that are beyond ridiculous is just low class even as a joke.

 
 
 
Sean Treacy
Professor Principal
1.1.1  Sean Treacy  replied to  Dismayed Patriot @1.1    one month ago

e putting words in a newscasters mouth that are beyond ridiculous

Sadly, the claim by Raddatz was so ridiculous that this is what takes to satirize them. 

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
1.1.2  Tessylo  replied to  Dismayed Patriot @1.1    one month ago

The never funny and always classless 'satire' of the Bee

 
 
 
Dismayed Patriot
Professor Quiet
1.1.3  Dismayed Patriot  replied to  Sean Treacy @1.1.1    one month ago
the claim by Raddatz was so ridiculous

What claim? Here's what Martha Raddatz actually thinks about what happened that day:

Watching the Pentagon Burn: ABC’s Martha Raddatz Remembers 9/11

I was at home in Arlington, Virginia, a few miles from the Pentagon, when the first plane hit the World Trade Center.  I began frantically making calls to try to figure out what was happening when the second plane struck.

My husband, who is a journalist as well, was doing the same.  He headed for the Pentagon to report for his news organization and I headed for the State Department.

While I was driving  across the Potomac River,  I called my daughter who was a junior at Amherst College in Massachusetts and my then 9-year-old son’s  school in D.C to make sure the school was not dismissing early. My daughter told me that a girl upstairs in her dormitory had a sister who worked in the upper floors of the World Trade Center  and she was watching the images in horror (we later learned her sister was indeed killed when the first plane hit).

The State Department was being refurbished so the press was in a downstairs temporary facility with one large TV. My young producer Phuong Nguyen was already glued to the images.  Before we knew any details about where the planes came from I remember thinking that no U.S. pilot would ever fly into those buildings, even if there was a gun to his or her head, so I assumed that the planes must somehow been stolen.  Officials  I was calling assumed the same.

Nothing made sense that day.  And then less than 20 minutes after arriving at the State Department there was a report of an explosion at the Pentagon.  Just before we evacuated the State Department it was confirmed that a plane had hit the Pentagon, although it was unclear on which side it had hit.

Watching the Pentagon Burn: ABC’s Martha Raddatz Remembers 9/11 - ABC News

Actual comedy usually comes from taking some small truth and blowing it out of proportion, therin 'the joke'. What the Bee does here is just take bullshit fantasy and put it in the mouth of someone conservatives hate because she doesn't align with their weak sniveling white Christian nationalist agenda.

It's no different than saying "In a tense exchange with Vice Presidential candidate J.D. Vance, ABC news anchor Martha Raddatz argued that raping children was horrid while Vance defended the Presidents choice to diddle kids."

"Donald likes them on the younger side, what can I say, and if they say no what they really mean is yes, am I right? And if they still say no then just a cup or two of happy juice quickly changes their minds." said Vance dripping with entitlement, "You realize I can't literally count on one hand how many kids under fourteen my Boss has fucked, right? Stop making the fact that Donald likes to drug and rape kids out to be such a big deal, I mean, he'll lower taxes for white religious conservatives so everyone gets what they want."

If the above Bee article is "funny" then so is my reinterpretation of the completely bullshit narrative. In fact, I believe there is more truth in my reinterpretation than there was in the Bee's fiction considering the fact that Trump has actually been accused of child rape by a victim but because it was years later and the victim didn't have enough physical evidence of Trump and Epstein raping her when she was just 14 years old the case was dropped.

 
 

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