Musk Forms Dept. Of Underaged Clowns Harming Everything (DOUCHE)
He boasted that he was "taking DOGE to the next level."
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Boasting that he was "taking DOGE to the next level," on Monday Elon Musk said that he had formed a new unit called Dept. Of Underaged Clowns Harming Everything (DOUCHE).
As part of the new group's branding push, the Cybertruck they use to roam the streets of Washington will now be called "The DOUCHE Canoe."
Although Musk will be known informally as King DOUCHE, his official title will be Completely Repulsive Individual Never Genuinely Elected (CRINGE).
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A chainsaw. Sure. Why not?
What could possibly go wrong?
He could accidentally cut his leg off. I doubt that man has ever handled a piece of machinery.
P.S. be sure to tag this as satire. Or you'll get flagged
Oh, I'm confident that TPTB always recognizes satire....
Some asshole here will sure as shit flag it. Believe me. I got flagged for not tagging a Borowitz piece
Oh!!!
Do you mean to say that TPTB don't recognize satire? Do you mean to say TPTB sometimes fuck up?
I'm shocked!
Guess Musk will be the hero in the next Sharknado Movie.
I see that Musk has a good sense of humor. LOL!
That would be President Milei of Argentina who loves toying with Chainsaw Massacre themes.
Sounds like somebody is mad the corruption has been identified.
How about some details? Musk claimed it was all going to be displayed on line. He isn’t doing that because it’s mostly just lies.
Maybe he just hasn't gotten around to it yet. Ya think?
They've been provided.
You really need to keep up with what's going on:
Apparently you are not paying attention. Reputable sources are reporting every day the waste that is being cancelled and given back to the treasury. Maybe you should change channels.
But more to the point, you say DOGE is not providing any info because they are lies.
What information are they not providing and what are the lies about those items?
100 million dollars worth of condoms to the Gaza Strip - lie. 150 year old people on social security - lie. Letting employees go because they are not performing - lie. Even Trump voters are outraged at the lies.
He said it would be immediate. You and I both know it will never come.
Show where DOGE reported this
"150 year old people on social security - lie"
That was never reported. The report from DOGE stated that there were people on the SS rolls that purportedly showed them to be 150 years old. No one has made the claim they are still receiving ASS, however, there could be circumstances where a family member could still be receiving payments through a shared bank account. You, nor I, know for sure if there are fraudulent payments.
"Letting employees go because they are not performing - lie. "
How do you know this? Has everyone let go always performing their job as described?
"Even Trump voters are outraged at the lies. "
Show where and don't use sob stories of people being let go. They are on the taxpayer dime and work for us. Sucks, yes, but they are by far not the only people to ever be laid off a job.
I guess OAN didn’t cover this so you’re learning here for the first time - Musk’s claim about 50 million dollars worth of condoms to Hamas was laughably false because that aid went to a different country altogether. Musk even admitted that fact, but that didn’t stop Trump from repeating it and doubling the expenditure, making it another massive and obvious bald faced lie.
How have you not seen Musk on tv declaring that 150 year old people are on SS payrolls? I’ve seen it, where have you been?
If you haven’t seen the numerous reports of probationary employees being let go for nonperformance then it is you who needs to change the channel. They let nearly every probationary employee go with this reasoning on a form letter, regardless of their performance reviews or if they had worked in the federal government for decades and were only probationary because they switched positions.
This is why I say this place is literally crawling with bots.[✘]
Yeah...I think this place is crawling with bots, too. Especially since certain people keep repeating the same lies even when they've been shown that they are repeating lies
Does it really matter where the money went for condoms?
[✘] "How have you not seen Musk on tv declaring that 150 year old people are on SS payrolls?"
Where did he say there was payments sent to those people? Oh, maybe MSDNC and CNN did not tell you he never said that,
"If you haven’t seen the numerous reports of probationary employees being let go for nonperformance then it is you who needs to change the channel."
Show where they were let go for non performance. They were let go because they were probationary, no other reason.
"They let nearly every probationary employee go with this reasoning on a form letter, regardless of their performance reviews or if they had worked in the federal government for decades and were only probationary because they switched positions."
Do you have a copy of this letter and proof it was sent to every person let go?
"No human could say things as stupid as you unless they were deliberately trolling."[✘]
We’re done [here][✘]
It's worse. NT's bots are actually living human beings. They're just as programmed as any software bots...
Do you not understand DOGE is a shell game designed to replace "1,000s" with 1,000s of MAGA friendly types eager to smudge their lips?
This is gonna be such a mess...