Were you "Not Cool" in middle school. New study says, good for you!
Brenda and Eddie had had it
Already by the summer of '75
From the high to the low to
The end of the show
For the rest of their lives
They couldn't go back to
The greasers
The best they could do was
Pick up the pieces
We always knew they would both
Find a way to get by
Scenes from an Italian Restaurant, B. Joel
Those of us who know that song, could all relate to it. We all knew a "Brenda and Eddie" that ended up pretty much the same way. But this was just an observation. No one actually quantified it for us.... until now.
In a study by Joseph P. Allen , a psychology professor at the University of Virginia, found that being cool actually stunts emotional and personal growth in later years.
It was their early rush into what Dr. Allen calls pseudomature behavior that set them up for trouble. Now in their early 20s, many of them have had difficulties with intimate relationships, alcohol and marijuana, and even criminal activity. They are doing more extreme things to try to act cool, bragging about drinking three six-packs on a Saturday night, and their peers are thinking, These kids are not socially competent, Dr. Allen said. Theyre still living in their middle-school world.
As fast-moving middle-schoolers, they were driven by a heightened longing to impress friends. Indeed their brazen behavior did earn them a blaze of popularity. But by high school, their peers had begun to mature, readying themselves to experiment with romance and even mild delinquency. The cool kids popularity faded.
So your moms and dads were right when they told you that you didn't want to be a cool kid. See they actually knew something!
Read more about it here:
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/06/23/cool-at-13-adrift-at-23/?_php=true&_type=blogs&emc=eta1&_r=0
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I'm going to show this to Peep! It will make him feel better!
I wish they had done this study when my girls were in school, but I am going to show it to my nephew!
Hope peep likes it!
Yeah. Myself and my wife were nerds in junior high, which led to graduation,,,which led to college,,,which led to careers in the medical field. If I woulda known then what my future held, I coulda told ol' Jimmy what's-his-name, "So while you may call me a nerd now, in 35 years I'll be a lab tech, and my lovely bride of twenty-five plus years will be the head of diabetes education at her facility; while, you are on your fourth marriage and eleventh job...and getting pretty fat and pasty". That woulda been fun...
;^)
Hey I had a Jimmy who bugged me, too. Didn't show up for out 30th class reunion. Wonder why?
As a matter of fact, going to that class reunion made me feel wonderful. If we could only put out experiences into out kids brains.
But sadly sometimes we have to live it ourselves and get through it to the other side to know!
Robert,
There are exceptions to everything, and most people don't have Martin Sheen as their dad, to spend a ton on rehab, and then set them up a new gig.
And don't forget, we are laughing at Charlie, not with him.
Just look at the "Bieb" I wasn't the most popular person byany means, but when I went to my 25th- Class Re-Union, the guys couldn't take their eyes off of me...they thought because I am Italian I would become obese, well I didn't.. but their wives did so there...(Tzia gloating)
Good article!!
Tzia!
All the Italians that I know are among the best looking people I know!
Including my daughter's boyfriend!
Of course you would be beautiful!
What a fun article. I was never cool or popular. I had a close circle of friends and hung out with the nerdy and smart kids. They were the most fun because we made gunpowder and made fireworks, rockets and blew stuff up. I was a walking skeleton, too - they can't be popular.
Well, yeah a bit, but then again you could take that back to James Dean. But the end result is that most of them end up being big losers later on in life.
lol....thanks Perrie, Italian women do tend to pack o the pounds, but, I didn't, I'm 4/10 and weigh 83 lbs. Yup... most Italian men are HOT!!
Tzia,
OMG we would look funny walking next to each other... I'm 5/7! And seriously, I am friends with a lot of Italian woman, all now in their mid 50's and they all look really good.
And yes Italian men are hot!
I kind of hung out with the smart kids, but I got along with almost all of the other kids but the cool ones.
And yes Italian men are hot !...
I did too, BF, but you were probably not picked on either. A lot of these kids who are cool can be very nasty to those who they deem not. But really that is besides the point.
The fact that you were not"cool" probably weighed in your favor as adult. I think that it centers you.
lol...My Dermatologist is 6/6..now there's a sight to see when we stand next to each other!!
I was very cool in school. In fact, I was named the coolest Indian in Minnesota. I was always on the cutting edge of fashion, and made bold statements, both with my clothes, and of course my smart ass comments.
Even my father thought that I was very cool. One time he said to me, ''Hey you'' (his way of saying your cool), get back to harvesting that wild rice.
What can I say, when your cool, your cool. Have you ever seen hair that's past your shoulder blades in a DA? Now that is the coolest of cool.
Me and Bob Dylan were just too cool for our shirts. A Jewish nerd and a smart ass Indian, the dynamic duo rides again.
This is all true, you can ask the ''Very Cool Society of Minnesota''. They will vouch for for my coolness.
This is me, dancing at our High School prom. Really, it's true.
LMAO! Can you imagine being married to him? I get a very funny image in my head!
I know that it is Kavika. See, you were not really a cool kid, since you hung out with a nerd.
Prom pic?
I'm a bit sceptical.
''See, you were not really a cool kid, since you hung out with a nerd.''
Perrie, let me explain to you how life works. The really cool kids hung out with nerds, it was our way of being beyond cool. Taking it to the next level, so to speak.
What, your skeptical!!!! (spelling lesson)...But, but you always told me that you were a JIP.
I shall have to ponder this revelation.
I shall confess, it wasn't my prom picture, it was my graduation from ''Reform School''....Don't tell anyone, especially the BIA.
LOL Robert!
I don't think I was ever cool in school. I always loved school and seeing my friends. I had a lot of people looking over my shoulder during exams.
I had two jobs during the school year, one I went to every afternoon when I got out of school Monday-Thursday and finished around 9pm. I worked every weekend on Saturday from 9am until 6pm. Then I'd rush home, take a shower and head down the road to pick up my sweetheart. Of course I had Friday off as well, so it was to the movies or somewhere on Friday night.
My old man knew my teachers personally, so I couldn't be too cool.
lol...GO KAV GO!!!...WORK IT!!
I think I know what you're thinking, let's not go there..
Where's the WD40, at my age the old joints need help Tzia.
lol...I hear ya Kav...
He didn't believe it... But then, he is in an argumentative mood today... Oh well, been there, done that, bought the T-shirt.
Yeah, but I met James Dean's aunt, and she said he was a good boy. She reared him. She said all that was an act, because he was shy and lonely.
Evidently, his mother abandoned him and his dear little aunt reared him. She loved him very much. She showed me pictures of James Dean when he was about 10-12 years old and he had that same look on his face... There was no mistaking him for someone else. He was on a Little League Team, and had been teased unmercifully, his aunt said...
This was in Fairmount, Indiana, just south of Marion, Indiana.
Indian/Italian men and women are handsome and beautiful. It's true.
At my college , the cool kids were members of the Weathermen ... not cool at all !
Damn Petey, subversives, commies, hippies at your school....Don't tell me, I don't want to know where you went to school.
Kavika is thinking the peoples republic of Berkley.
I 'll vouch for that Kav!!
The school's nickname was "Berkley east " .
Middle school for me was a place to not be home. The only thing I wanted to do was go to math classes (I was in the advanced classes from 7th grade to my senior year in high school) and go to track practice.