I''ve always wanted messages that would flash on the back of my car:
Please, stop tail-gaiting.
Want me to halt suddenly? Keep flashing your lights.
Move over, please.
If you can't drive the speed limit, why are you in the passing lane?
I also want a spatula to come out from under my car, fit under the slowpoke ahead of me, and flip them off the road like a flapjack. A giant hammer that comes up out of the hood, and/or the trunk, and thwocks someone, hard! And the best, a special pedal that leaves a nice oil slick for the car riding my bumper.
But I've always wanted a button up front and a container in my trunk with machine oil leading through a tube that stuck out my license plates, so when some asshole won't get off my rear end and I've done everything to get out of their way to allow them to pass, I could push the button up front and it would squirt a little of that machine oil out of my license plate up into the air just enough to land on their windshield. Na! But in my mind it sounds good.
There was one time, while stationed in D.C., I used to drive commuter buses to supplement my meager income. And the buses we had in the mid 80s were seriously old beaters bought off the used market after being retired by real bus lines. 6 cylinder diesels with 4 speed manual trannys. One day on the way home I was running behind another bus with a friend driving it. Some yahoo got into the passing laneand flat out refused to get out of the lane blocking both of us.....I moved over passed my buddy and the car then eased into the lane, let up on the pedal until the guy was on my bumper, then w/o downshifting,nailed the go pedal to the floor. Did I mention that these buses had bad racks (black smoke when under strain) and leaked oil? I'm sure it took the guy a few washings to get all that nasty off his car, and the disel smell inside had to have lasted for weeks.....
I was once driving behind a guy who had a lifelike rubber fist in his rear window. He must have had a sensor on his bumper that was connected to it, because if I got too close to him the middle finger would flip up. It was genius, except for the fact that it was so funny that it just made me want to activate it on purpose over and over.
I''ve always wanted messages that would flash on the back of my car:
I also want a spatula to come out from under my car, fit under the slowpoke ahead of me, and flip them off the road like a flapjack. A giant hammer that comes up out of the hood, and/or the trunk, and thwocks someone, hard! And the best, a special pedal that leaves a nice oil slick for the car riding my bumper.
Evil we be...
Missiles, I want missiles.... But, no, I want a sign that says "We Love you" like they do at the rainbow gathering of tribes.
Very nice Miss_Directed
But I've always wanted a button up front and a container in my trunk with machine oil leading through a tube that stuck out my license plates, so when some asshole won't get off my rear end and I've done everything to get out of their way to allow them to pass, I could push the button up front and it would squirt a little of that machine oil out of my license plate up into the air just enough to land on their windshield. Na! But in my mind it sounds good.
I want one
I don't have any of those problem, but then again I drive this.
How about, for that tail gater when I'm going over the speed limit already:
5. What? I'm not speeding fast enough for you?
There was one time, while stationed in D.C., I used to drive commuter buses to supplement my meager income. And the buses we had in the mid 80s were seriously old beaters bought off the used market after being retired by real bus lines. 6 cylinder diesels with 4 speed manual trannys. One day on the way home I was running behind another bus with a friend driving it. Some yahoo got into the passing laneand flat out refused to get out of the lane blocking both of us.....I moved over passed my buddy and the car then eased into the lane, let up on the pedal until the guy was on my bumper, then w/o downshifting,nailed the go pedal to the floor. Did I mention that these buses had bad racks (black smoke when under strain) and leaked oil? I'm sure it took the guy a few washings to get all that nasty off his car, and the disel smell inside had to have lasted for weeks.....
I could use a car with a small survival kitchen...
...ya know, for those times when your roughing it.
:~)