Suit-Wearing Student Says Nashville Christian School Banned Her From Prom
By: Brooke Leigh Howard (The Daily Beast)
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
"I should not have to conform to femininity to attend my senior prom. i will not compromise who i am to fit in a box," B. Hayes wrote in a viral Instagram post.
Alumni of a Tennessee Christian school are in complete disgust with their alma mater after the institution went viral for allegedly banning a female student from attending her senior prom because she was wearing a suit.
On Saturday, student B. Hayes penned an Instagram post about her non-existent prom experience at Nashville Christian School, a religious private school for preschool through the 12th grade.
"Im 18 years old and i've been attending Nashville Christian School for 13 years," Hayes wrote. "My senior prom was today and i wasn't allowed in the doors because i was wearing a suit."
Along with the post, Hayes uploaded a photo of herself wearing a black suit and holding a sign that said, "They wouldn't let me IN because i'm in a suit."
A group of kids are seen in the photo, also dressed in formal attire, stepping out of a Yukon to attend an event that appears as if it's being held in the building behind Hayes.
"I should not have to conform to femininity to attend my senior prom. i will not compromise who i am to fit in a box," Hayes wrote. "Who are you to tell us what it means to be a woman?"
By Monday afternoon, the post had racked up thousands of likes and comments.
"Ain't no hate like Christian love," one person commented.
"As a queer person that attended this school I can't thank you enough for standing up for something that generations before you were too afraid of," one alumnus wrote. "There are so many teachers at this institution that truly love us, and I'm proud to have known them. But the teachers preaching hate, bigotry…are the ones that make the school an unsafe space for students. Do better NCS."
"No one should EVER have to go through this," another alumnus added. "I'm proud of you for speaking out and sharing. A school especially one with the word 'Christian' in it should have welcomed you with open arms for expressing yourself, not turn you away."
Yet another alumnus chimed in: "When I graduated four years ago this same thing would've happened and it really sucks to see nothing has changed with this school," they wrote. "You are so strong for standing your ground and you have several people and NCS alumni's [sic] backing you!!"
"Btw didn't Jesus wear a gown and sandals?" one person quipped. "Distinctly feminine apparel. Wonder if he was locked out of his prom, too?"
A Nashville Christian School alumna, who wished to remain anonymous, alleged to The Daily Beast that the school's issues extended beyond homophobia and transphobia to a toxic culture rife with bullying.
"This environment made many students, faculty, and parents flee," the alumna wrote in an email. "If you for some reason weren't liked, usually it was because you were different, your life would be hell and you would be very isolated."
"Teachers, faculty, and students… expressed their hate and disgust of the LGBTQ+ community," she continued. "Some even said that they should or would burn in hell."
In a statement to The Daily Beast, Nashville Christian School said dress requirements had been established "for daily school attendance and at our special events."
"All students and families are aware of and sign an agreement to these guidelines when they enroll," the statement read. "The school's expectations regarding appropriate prom attire were communicated to this student and the student's family in advance of the prom.
"While we certainly respect a student's right to disagree, all of our students know from our school handbook that when they do not follow such expectations at school-sponsored events, they may be asked to leave."
According to Nashville Christian School's online handbook, "ladies (Grades 6-12)" are required to wear uniform shirts with the school's crest and a plaid skirt or khaki twill pants during "dress uniform days." Dress shoes are a necessity. On designated "standard school days," school polos are allowed, uniform bottoms have to be of the approved color scheme, skirts cannot extend too far above the knee, and "tennis shoes or closed toe shoes" are required. Shirts must be tucked in, and body piercings and tattoos cannot be visible.
"While the dress code policy applies to clothing worn during the school day, parents are responsible for supervising the choice of appropriate clothing for school events that occur outside of the normal school day," the handbook states.
The dress code was last updated in 2022.
Nashville Christian School declined to provide The Daily Beast with a copy of the agreement students and parents were allegedly supposed to sign as well as the exact dress code guidelines for special events, like prom. The school also declined to comment further when asked exactly how Hayes was made aware of the event's dress code.
"Our primary focus today is on our students and conducting a regular school day so we will let the statement we sent you stand," the school told The Daily Beast.
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www.npr.org /2023/04/25/1171695996/nashville-senior-banned-from-prom-suit-dress
A Nashville senior was banned from prom for a suit, so a local business stepped in
By Jaclyn Diaz 5-6 minutes 4/25/2023
A student denied entry to their Nashville high school prom is getting another chance to take part in the annual tradition thanks to their community.
B Hayes, an 18-year-old student at Nashville Christian School, was banned from going to their prom because they wore a suit and not a dress.
In a photo posted on Instagram over the weekend, Hayes stood outside of the facility holding a sign that read, "they wouldn't let me in because i'm in a suit."
Hayes wrote in the caption, "i should not have to conform to femininity to attend my senior prom. i will not compromise who i am to fit in a box. who are you to tell us what it means to be a woman?"
Nashville Christian School told NPR in a statement that it "has established dress requirements for daily school attendance and at our special events. All students and families are aware of and sign an agreement to these guidelines when they enroll."
The school said its "expectations regarding appropriate prom attire were communicated to this student and the student's family in advance of the prom. While we certainly respect a student's right to disagree, all of our students know from our school handbook that when they do not follow such expectations at school-sponsored events, they may be asked to leave."
In just a day, Hayes' post blew up and got on the radar of Nashville business owner and local mom Marcie Allen Van Mol.
"It just really upset me that this child was not allowed to attend their prom because they weren't wearing a dress. It is that simple of an issue. And it's not OK," Van Mol said of hearing Hayes' story.
She and her husband Derek Van Mol own AB Hillsboro Village, a live music and event space in the city.
"When we saw this we felt that it was really important to step up and use our platform to create a safe place for B to celebrate their prom," Van Mol said.
A second prom plan gets going
With their approval, Van Mol got the ball rolling.
She put a call out on social media for anyone looking to help. The idea "spread like wildfire," she said.
"My inbox exploded, I mean, just exploded. Everyone wants to help. And everyone wants to make sure that these students and children in Nashville feel safe and included," she said.
Local businesses have reached out to provide services for the event, including a photo booth and flowers. R&B musician Tone Stith is set to put on a private performance as well.
To help fund the evening, a GoFundMe account was also created by Allison Holley, the owner of Nashville's Apple & Oak. Any additional money donated in response to this effort is going to be given to Inclusion Tennessee and Oasis Center, two charities of Hayes' choosing.
And next month, Hayes and 25 of their friends will be getting their own private prom.
In a text to NPR, Hayes said, "I greatly appreciate the support from my city and my community. The love I have been shown by my friends and family will not be taken lightly."
They added, "I just ask that during this time I have the privacy to enjoy the rest of my senior year. I would also like for this attention to shift towards those who have experienced similar situation's, you are not alone and there are people in this world who will stand with you. I want to spread positivity and help others grow through this process. Thank you all so much for the love you show me!"
Van Mol also hopes this moment will go on to spread kindness and positivity.
She said, "It's just a little thing that we hope will go a long way and will inspire other communities across the country to say there is still good in the world."
Now that is the spirit of Christianity
I didnt see anything in either of these articles about her sexual orientation but I assume we are supposed to assume she is LBTGQ.
So , because of the clothing style of one girl this Christian school has set themselves up for negative national publicity. Good job. /s
I thought this sentence in the article was telling.
So I am thinking non-binary.
ah
Thankfully this wasn't a Catholic school. Christian schools are what they are. She's just another attention seeking twit who had her comeuppance after trying to defy long established and well defined rules.
As mentioned elsewhere, she could have gone to the public schools, where discipline and rules don't apply. Grades aren't important either
But it shouldn’t matter. There’s no reason in the world why any woman - straight or queer - shouldn’t be allowed to wear pants.
I wear suits on occasion. Just because B Hayes wore one that says nothing about their sexuality
It's sad that she could be the only girl in the school to not get pregnant at the prom.
She looks Ab-Fab!
It is a Christian school- so in other words a private school.
This is a school function and they set the standards for attire.
Don't like it? There is always public schools.
As for a few cherry picked alumni for comments; well it furthers the article. Which is what the "woke" author wanted. Dissenting points of view are not allowed.
What does a girl wearing a suit to her prom have to do with Christianity ?
Nothing as Jesus wore a robe.
Because it doesn't follow the dress code.
Like DUH!
Jesus talked about dress codes?
Jesus would have never been allowed in a parochial school. A mouthy liberal hippy in a dress? Not a chance.
Perhaps she should have worn a robe instead and claim it's biblical? 😉
But it does.
It says right in their dress code that girls can wear pants.
We haven’t seen a prom dress code (convenient), but clearly, from the standard dress code, we know this school doesn’t normally have a problem with girls in pants.
I doubt very much they actually have a "prom dress code" because like most people of their ilk they assume girls will be wearing fancy dresses
Agreed. Most times when we hear of a girl being refused entrance to the prom, it's due to her dress being risque or too showy.
Sure would have been nice if the article had included the "appropriate prom attire".
Oh...I've seen some dresses that weren't appropriate at a strip club worn at a prom
Oh yes... I can remember driving my then teenage stepdaughters to their 8th grade year end dance and this school had way too many wealthy people attending as I saw several 8th grade girls made up as if they were 20 in dresses that really should not be seen in public and arriving in limo's. It was crazy that any parent would let anybody dressed like that out of the house.. but it's a crazy world we live in.
We have different values than those parents, Snuffy. My daughter went to her dances and proms in appropriate dresses and did her own make-up which was very little.
I think it would be nice if the article had shared the expectations regarding appropriate prom attire. From the article we have to guess and assume. Most girls kicked out of proms have been for scantly clad dresses that inflame or excite the male chaperones. From the picture I don't see where her suit was risque or showed too much skin.
This is someone looking for their 15 minutes. Nothing more.
Maybe. Of course they could have let her into the prom and nipped it in the bud.
What race do you think he was?
Jesus was a member of the human race...
I call Bullshit. While I do believe a family would check the dress code before enrolling at a school, I do not believe any family in America is checking the prom dress code before enrolling.
Yeah? How? Because while the online handbook apparently includes a dress code, it does not seem to include a prom dress code. And oh yeah, by the way, the dress code says ladies can wear pants.
But for special events, the choice of outfits appears to be up to the parents, not whoever is working the door at prom.
And if you’re one of those people who think the only appropriate formal wear for a lady must be a dress, you are seriously out of touch.
If you don't want to conform to the box then don't try to get into the box. Pretty simple.
Nonconformists are just as guilty of imposing their expectations on others. Nonconformists claim to follow different rules. But nonconformists expect others to conform to their different rules. Nonconformists oppose the box by creating a different box; their box where they set the rules and can deny admittance.
Nonconformity is really nothing more than a power play. Nonconformists want to impose their authority over others, too. The only way to be admitted into their box is to follow their rules. And those rules are typically self-serving.
Nonconformists break the rules of conformists and art/science/society evolves (what a shock) ... a giant thank you to all who did so throughout the ages. Every generation produces nonconformists, they are the soul's fertilizer.
Nonconformity evolves into conformity. Just keep in mind that a 'conservative' speaking to a 'liberal' audience is a nonconformist, too. Liberals attempting to maintain the integrity of their liberal box become conservative. Liberals requiring conformity to their liberal rules have taken a conservative position. There is no escaping the box.
... apparently not for you. If you have even a sliver of imagination, free it from the Skinner Box you wander in.
Why should I conform to your expectations?
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Annie Lennox looked hot in a suit:
Shania rocked it in a suit:
Madonna owned it in a suit:
I always have to laugh at articles bemoaning the discriminatory actions of parochial schools. I was probably the only atheist in my Jesuit high school. They can do whatever the hell they want because they are private. If you didn’t understand that when you signed up then that’s on you. I saw shit that offended my senses on a daily basis, but I knew what to expect and just shook my head and chuckled at it.
It's fun to mock schools that are still in the Dark Ages.
"Much ado about nothing."
She was nicely dressed ... but not in a dress. Big deal.
It is not as though she came to the prom in a see-thru blouse or dressed up like a Halloween character.
I know, right? Such a fuss over a suit, which is formal wear anyway. So it's suitable for a prom. It's not like this student was wearing anything considered "indecent."