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It's Friday the 13th and Jason Is Pissed Off

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By: al Jizzerror • last year • 27 comments

It's Friday the 13th and Jason Is Pissed Off

Jason wants to kill everyone on NewStalkers.

Sponsored by group SiNNERs and ButtHeads

Today is Friday the 13th. Some superstitious idiots think this is an "unlucky" day. It isn't.

The 13 original colonies weren't unlucky.

Friday the 13th isn't always unlucky

Famous people born on Friday the 13th include Alfred Hitchcock , Fidel Castro and twins Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. Pop star Taylor Swift was not born on Friday the 13th, but she considers 13 to be her lucky number. Oddly enough, she was born on Wednesday the 13th in December 1989, which allowed her to turn 13 on a Friday the 13th in 20

https://www.cnn.com/style/article/why-friday-13-unlucky-explained/index.html

It's Friday the 13th and Jason Is Pissed Off. Jason wants to kill everyone on NewStalkers. He fucking hates insulting memes that ridicule him. Jason saw that THIS meme that was published on NewStalkers.

512

That's just fucking anti-climatic.

Jason considers himself to be the "original stalker" and he thinks any "copycat stalkers" are stab worthy. Jason thinks anyone on NewStalkers should be sliced and diced.

The Thirteen Club

In the late-19th century, a New Yorker named Captain William Fowler (1827-1897) sought to remove the enduring stigma surrounding the number 13—and particularly the unwritten rule about not having 13 guests at a dinner table—by founding an exclusive society called the Thirteen Club.

The group dined regularly on the 13th day of the month in room 13 of the Knickerbocker Cottage, a popular watering hole Fowler owned from 1863 to 1883. Before sitting down for a 13-course dinner, members would pass beneath a ladder and a banner reading “Morituri te Salutamus,” Latin for “Those of us who are about to die salute you.

” Four former U.S. presidents ( Chester A. Arthur , Grover Cleveland , Benjamin Harrison and Theodore Roosevelt ) would join the Thirteen Club’s ranks at one time or another.

https://www.history.com/topics/folklore/friday-the-13th

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Masters Expert

1 author al Jizzerror last year

I'm going to kill Jason with a hockey stick.

What makes it ironic is that I"m going to ram the fucking hockey stick up his ass.

512

Masters Expert

2 author al Jizzerror last year

I guess people think that commenting on this is bad luck.

Professor Expert

3 sandy-2021492 last year

Michael Myers Wanted by Sheriff's Office on Friday the Thirteenth

Professor Principal

3.1 Ender replied to sandy-2021492 @3 last year

I never knew he was Amish...

Masters Expert

3.2 author al Jizzerror replied to sandy-2021492 @3 last year

Michael Myers Wanted by Sheriff's Office on Friday the Thirteenth

I think Mikey is more of a Halloween Guy.

512

I'm just glad Michael and Jason don't use AR-15s and AK-47s.

Professor Principal

4 Ender last year

How dry I am, how dry I am, nobody knows, how dry I am.

And I am dry too. Got cotton in my mouth, down to my last carrot...

I need a few drinks for a Friday night.

Masters Expert

4.1 author al Jizzerror replied to Ender @4 last year

Got cotton in my mouth

I enjoy vaping flower. I'm vaping Litreacola (33.3% THC).

In order to combat the resulting cotton mouth, I'm drinking Seagrams VO cocktails (doubles, of course).

It's Canadian Whiskey so I mix it with Canada Dry ginger ale.

If I don't "lubricate my keyboard" my content gets slightly stale.

512

Masters Expert

5 author al Jizzerror last year

Jason Voorhees, Freddy Kruger and Michael Meyers are walking down Elm Street on Halloween...

What should we do?

Professor Principal

5.1 Ender replied to al Jizzerror @5 last year

I would pretend I was Dahmer.

Mmmm You all look tasty. Especially you Freddy. Mmmm BBQ.

Masters Expert

5.1.1 author al Jizzerror replied to Ender @5.1 last year

Mmmm You all look tasty. Especially you Freddy. Mmmm BBQ.

I ain't eating that!

512

Junior Quiet

5.1.2 cobaltblue replied to Ender @5.1 last year

Mmmm You all look tasty. Especially you Freddy. Mmmm BBQ.

The cannibal wife was furious at her cannibal husband was late for dinner without calling her to let her know. When he finally got home, she gave him the cold shoulder.

Masters Expert

5.1.3 author al Jizzerror replied to cobaltblue @5.1.2 last year

The cannibal

512

Masters Expert

5.1.4 author al Jizzerror replied to cobaltblue @5.1.2 last year

The cannibal wife

I'm not a fucking cannibal butt, I think I would enjoy eating you.

512

I would prefer a fur burger.

Professor Principal

5.1.5 Ender replied to al Jizzerror @5.1.4 last year

Provides flossing as well.

Junior Quiet

6 cobaltblue last year

Professor Quiet

6.1 Ed-NavDoc replied to cobaltblue @6 last year

I was born on Friday the 13th. Doesn't bother me at all.

Masters Expert

6.1.1 author al Jizzerror replied to Ed-NavDoc @6.1 last year

Doesn't bother me at all.

Of course, why would it bother you, Jason?

Professor Quiet

6.1.2 Ed-NavDoc replied to al Jizzerror @6.1.1 last year

Got me!

Professor Principal

7 Ender last year

I was actually born on the 13th. A Saturday though.

Missed it by that much....

Professor Principal

8 Kavika last year

Jason better look over his shoulder, the Wendigo is hunting him.

''The Wendigo was gaunt to the point of emaciation, its desiccated skin pulled tautly over its bones. With its bones pushing out against its skin, its complexion the ash gray of death, and its eyes pushed back deep into their sockets, the Wendigo looked like a gaunt skeleton recently disinterred from the grave. What lips it had were tattered and bloody [….] Unclean and suffering from suppurations of the flesh, the Wendigo gave off a strange and eerie odor of decay and decomposition, of death and corruption.”
The Wendigo was a cannibal and the more it killed and ate the more human meals it needs. It was especially active in the winter. When the Wendigo was hunting its human prey the wind would start blowing and a fog would cover the landscape and tempature would drop and suddenly it would become calm and out of the fog the Wendigo would appear and attack its human prey.

There is a medical term for this and it's called the ''Wendigo psychosis''. The Wendigo was so feared by the Algonquin people that a ceremony was created to protect and rid them of the Wendigo called windigookaanzhimowin.

Professor Principal

8.1 Ender replied to Kavika @8 last year

The Wendigo was gaunt to the point of emaciation, its desiccated skin pulled tautly over its bones. With its bones pushing out against its skin, its complexion the ash gray of death, and its eyes pushed back deep into their sockets

Mom?

Professor Principal

8.1.1 Kavika replied to Ender @8.1 last year

More like ex wife.

Masters Expert

8.1.2 author al Jizzerror replied to Kavika @8.1.1 last year

like ex wife.

I still love all of my ex-wives.

It's kinda convenient to have ex-wives with benefits.

512

Professor Principal

8.1.3 devangelical replied to al Jizzerror @8.1.2 last year

no learning curve.

Professor Principal

8.1.4 Trout Giggles replied to al Jizzerror @8.1.2 last year

Richard Gere played a cop who was always bonking his ex-wives.

Professor Quiet

8.2 Ed-NavDoc replied to Kavika @8 last year

I remember hearing about a guy on a bus years ago, in Canada I believe, who went berserk and tried to eat a fellow passenger. He was allegedly attributed to be having Wendigo Syndrome.

Professor Principal

8.2.1 Kavika replied to Ed-NavDoc @8.2 last year

As a kid growing up my mishoomis (grandfather) would tell the story of the Wendigo to us kids and scare the hell out of us. Actually, it scared the hell out of the adults as well.

Cannibalism is such a taboo among the Three Fire Nations that it is the only crime that is punishable by death.

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