Giuliani Warns Matt Gaetz That Trump Never Pays His Attorneys
By: Andy Borowitz
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
Nov 14, 2024916Share this postCopy linkFacebookEmailNoteOther23172Share
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—Urging him "not to take that freaking job," on Wednesday Rudolph Giuliani warned Rep. Matt Gaetz that Donald J. Trump never pays his attorneys.
"I know what you're thinking—'I'll get paid millions and then I'll be swimming in hooch and broads,'" the former New York mayor said. "Not gonna happen!"
"When Trump cans your ass—and he will—you'll be in the Four Seasons Total Landscaping parking lot with me drinking Two-Buck Chuck straight from the bottle."
For his part, Trump said that by choosing Gaetz he was keeping his campaign promise of creating jobs for unskilled white men.
Subscribe
Leave a comment
Share
916Share this postCopy linkFacebookEmailNoteOther23172Share
Trolling, taunting, spamming, and off topic comments may be removed at the discretion of group mods. NT members that vote up their own comments, repeat comments, or continue to disrupt the conversation risk having all of their comments deleted. Please remember to quote the person(s) to whom you are replying to preserve continuity of this seed. Any use of the phrase "Trump Derangement Syndrome" or the TDS acronym in a comment will be deleted. Any use of the term "Brandon", "Traitor Joe", or any variations thereof, when referring to President Biden, will be deleted. Right wing trolls can expect to have their irrelevant questions and comments deleted.
Tags
Who is online
47 visitors
2 buck chuck...that's all Guiliani can afford these days
Guiliani has been extreamly lucky he hasn't been charged with contempt of court.
Does Rudy pay his lawyers?
I don't know. He keeps saying he's broke.
... wait for it ...
He's been warned to caugh up all the stuff people know he has and tried to hide including the rings his kid said his dad 'gave' him years ago, but Rudy still sometimes wears.
even though his brain is pickled, rudy will probably be put in rotation for the AG confirmation revolving door ...
Also, the Rolls Royce, I believe it is, that's he's supposed to cough up, he's been seen being chauffeured around in.
it's a vintage mercedes that lauren bacall sat in once, or something ...
poor rudy, the fall from america's mayor to an iconic pervert digging thru his pants in a borat movie, and election denier that gets stiffed by his maga hero and then loses everything over it ... ... too bad, even trump has his shelf life figured out.
Mercedes, thank you. I think it was actually Lauren Bacall's.
Something happened after 9-11 - that was the beginning of the end I think - then hitching his wagon to that freakshow sealed his fate I guess.
Thanks for actual humorous satire!
I almost feel sorry for him, almost.
he's a ridiculous caricature of his former self ...
... and he needs to be remanded to prison, into the general population, until he turns over all of his assets.
He just turned over the Benz and watches and other things and I think some assets, or all, not sure.
the judge has no more patience with rudy. his lawyers told the judge they want out. maybe he can get a room discount at mar-a-lardo ...
He can stay there in reparations for non-payment
... hang at the pool, get some sun, try to remember where the 24 pallets of furnishings from his residence disappeared to before he goes to jail for contempt ...
Rudy who?
Jobs for unskilled white guys….perfect
Rudy wants to be named Secretary of the Treasury so he can steal enough money to pay off his legal obligations.
looks like he's back in the pardon selling biz ...
I doubt Rudy will live long enough to do much if any of the above.
gee, what a bummer ...
Agreed. Rudy is a disgusting individual who deserves a bit of karma.
I think he's a sad old man who doesn't know he's done
Possibly.
Agree. I think he has found it really hard to try to regain the world fame he once had as Mayor of NYC during the tragedy of 9/11. What he ultimately became since then has gained him fame alright, but, not the kind he he hoped for.
I hope the same for the traitor as well.
I think he is a sad old man who does realize what he has done and is still trying to escape from the consequences.
from america's mayor to america's disgrace in less than a decade ...
rudy will have a lot of acquaintances from his past in prison ...
his political capital is also bankrupt ...
Thanks for the flag, Jim. You allowed me to update my seed. I always forget to add the satire tag. Thanks for pointing it out
[✘]
I think Rudy's on-going use of hair dye ultimately affected his brain. But, his own greed and lust for fame led him to what he is now.
JMOO
I think it was his alcohol use that diminished his brain capacity
That as well can do it.
all that viagra usage permanently drained the blood from his brain ...
Rudy taking viagra is like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.
... a mast on a canoe.
Trump is a c.................
I can't use that word but Janey can, (may she RIP)
Well, at least Gaetz would get payed by the federal government... until Trump fucks that up also
The number of "former aides" Trump has abandoned to their fate is staggering... and yet the recruits just keep on coming.
Does anyone imagine that Trump will stand by Gaetz if the shit hits the fan?
of course not!
It's not just his aides that he fucks then discards without paying them...
Cities seek more than $750K in unpaid bills for Trump campaign events since 2016
Trump campaign leaving some cities with hundreds of thousands in unpaid bills after rallies
Albuquerque officials say Trump now owes the city $444,986 over five years.
Trump campaign leaving some cities with hundreds of thousands in unpaid bills after rallies - ABC News (go.com)
"We won't hold our breath": Trump rallies leave over a dozen cities with unpaid bills
The former president has failed to repay cities for the public safety costs of his rallies, ABC News reported
"We won't hold our breath": Trump rallies leave over a dozen cities with unpaid bills | Salon.com
“Ha! You knew I was a snake when you picked me up.” - Donald J Trump
I think that's pretty impressive.
No wonder he's rich, with all the money he has economized.
all humans are disposable in trump's quest to become the ultimate dictator ...