Pence Blasts New York Times and Vows Never to Write for It Again
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
ORLANDO ( The Borowitz Report )—Speaking to reporters on Thursday morning, Vice-President Mike Pence ripped the New York Times and vowed never to write for it again.
“I think the New York Times is reprehensible and disgraceful, and should apologize to the American people,” Pence said. “As for me, I’m going to show my disgust with the Times by never, ever submitting another piece of writing to it.”
Pence said that, in addition to the Times’ irresponsible decision to publish incendiary articles, “The editors over there are really hard to deal with if you’re a freelance opinion writer.”
“People see the New York Times as a biased publication with a blatant agenda to take down Donald Trump,” Pence said. “What people don’t realize is that the editors over there make a freelance writer’s life miserable—suggesting changes in words, moving paragraphs around, and cutting lines that you thought were really good.”
In addition to those criticisms, Pence said that the Times insists that writers sign a contract and submit a W-9 before they can get paid.
“The Times says that it pays writers promptly, but when I look at their behavior up to this point, color me skeptical,” Pence said. “I’ll believe it when I get the check.”
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Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “ The 50 Funniest American Writers ,” and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes the Borowitz Report , a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com.
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A bit of Andy Borowitz to start your Thirsty Thursday
Oy veh, thank goodness we saw the satire tag before we expressed our opinion/s
good one Trout !
I was going to say something about this being satire, but I wanted to see if anybody recognized it first. We have a few here who wouldn't know satire if it bit 'em on the butt
Pence just isn't that funny.
But he's funny looking
That's the ONLY thing....to the best of my recollection ……. I can "Remember" Biden for. Being Funny.
He was a gaff-a-minute.
Boss.... "Da chains, Da chains", and those "Red Dots".... " Stand up, STAND UP Mr. Wheelchair guy".....
It may be premature to pick on Mike Pence, we may need him some day.
But so far, he just isn't on the radar for memorable VP performances.
He is kinda boring
Evil often is mundane.
Mike Pence... Not sure where to start...
Is that weird or what?
Oh dear god. That so freaked/grossed me out. Someone help him.
That water bottle video is one of the coolest political videos I've seen in a long time!
I loved this from Borowitz:
Obama Saddened That Kavanaugh Did Not Blame Him at Any Point
What website did you get this from?
?
I'm actually not sure that's the site, lol, but who cares, lol
Mike Pence last Ash Wednesday:
The priest saw the evil him and was trying to exorcise it with palm ashes and olive oil
I want a man who looks at me the way Pence looks at Trump:
So a yes man that will mimic your actions, all the while plotting a quiet takeover of the relationship.
A man that looks like he just wants to eat me up!
8 hours since the last quip? I admit Mike is just not that funny.
I googled "funny things about Mike Pence "
and this popped out...
Interesting how the title was truncated down from
Mike Pence Was ‘Full of Shit’ When He Was A Young Republican Candidate, VP’s Brother Says
So, at least his brother thinks he was funny.
Irony Alert!
Some people are hoping that Pence will become President in 2018 . . .