The Revolution Will Not Be Televised

  
By:  al Jizzerror  •  2 weeks ago  •  27 comments


The Revolution Will Not Be Televised
Republicans have been making Americans puke for years.

Sponsored by group The Banned Played On

The Banned Played On


In the Sumer of 2021 I was sitting in a circle vaping sinsemilla with my stoner friends when we came up with THE PLAN.

Because the fucking Republicans had a plan (that they tried to keep secret) to defund Social Security and Medicare.  Oh, and, of course, they planned to kill Obamacare (as usual). 

So, naturally, we decided to design a master plan to kill Republicans.  Well, we didn't really want to murder anyone (well, there was this one guy , Mahatma, who wanted to kill them all ).  Our actual objective was to mock and ridicule the Republicans and make it extremely uncool to for them to eliminate the most popular government programs in US history.

We decided to attack in waves.  The first wave of attackers would be the geezers.  The oldest Americans had the most to lose.  The Republicans were going to eliminate their income and their healthcare.  

So we contacted Willard Scott to get his birthday list of everybody over a hundred years old in the United States.  We figured if the oldest geezers attacked first, the Republicans would look like the bullies they are if they fought back.  We used Willard Scott's list and to attempted to speak with all of the "woke" geezers we could locate.

Unfortunately, Willard Scott's list was never updated.  For some reason, we was unable to contact most of the hundred year old geezers.  A lot of the geezers that we were able to contact very politely told us to, "FUCK OFF".  I decided to ask Willard Scott to talk to the geezers for me, since they worship the shit out of him, but I couldn't reach him either.  

Then we decided to take a break and get high again.  We were Vaping some killer sinsemilla and watching NBC, where Willard Scott worked for 65 fucking years.  That's when we saw the headline: "WILLARD SCOTT DEAD AT 87".  So, we "86ed" the geezer part of the plan.  

Then NBC ran a "Special" to honor Willard Scott.  We were vaping the whole time.  Ironically, Scott's greatest achievement was that he created Ronald McDonald.

Then, for some reason, we all had a "Big Mac attacks".  So we went to McDonald's and bought dozens of Big Macs .  Then we vaped for a while before going back and getting we all got happy meals for desert.  That's when we came up with Plan B .  We decided to visit Republican National Headquarters and drink some Ipecac Syrup.  We could then render the building completely disgusting just like the people who occupied the place.  We got the idea from " Family Guy ."

Plan B may seem kinda strange butt it is appropriate because Republicans have been making Americans puke for years.

512


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al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
1  author  al Jizzerror    2 weeks ago

I hope you enjoyed this article.

I know the Republicans loved it.

jrSmiley_9_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
1.1  devangelical  replied to  al Jizzerror @1    2 weeks ago

I certainly did, ... and fuck them.

 
 
 
Ed-NavDoc
Professor Quiet
1.2  Ed-NavDoc  replied to  al Jizzerror @1    2 weeks ago

Yep, I feel like I want to do that every time one of the Squad opens their mouths! Besides,  I boycotted McD's years ago.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
1.3  devangelical  replied to  al Jizzerror @1    5 days ago

I actually have that album...

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
2  Trout Giggles    2 weeks ago

Hey! I'm eating lunch!

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
2.1  devangelical  replied to  Trout Giggles @2    2 weeks ago

gee, all those people seem allergic to green chile...

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
2.1.1  Trout Giggles  replied to  devangelical @2.1    2 weeks ago

Most people in Arkansas are allergic to it. You can't find it anywhere.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
2.1.2  devangelical  replied to  Trout Giggles @2.1.1    2 weeks ago

both my 2 sons are green chile snobs. they found some lady up north that sells it online. the ex always fought me on spicing up her cooking when they were little because "they won't eat it like that". now I can barely eat the food they like to eat because of all the heat.

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
2.1.3  Ender  replied to  devangelical @2.1.2    2 weeks ago

My BIL makes these things with jalapenos. Cuts them in half length wise and puts some cream cheese mixture in it and wraps them in bacon.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
2.1.4  Trout Giggles  replied to  devangelical @2.1.2    2 weeks ago

My daughter grew up with flavor in her food...would even stand some heat. But now she's turned into some whetta who can't stand a little spice. Her MIL and FIL have spoiled her with their lack of taste in food

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
2.1.5  Trout Giggles  replied to  Ender @2.1.3    2 weeks ago

I like those best with cheddar cheese or a little crream cheese and lots of cheddar. They're good grilled

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
2.1.6  Ender  replied to  Trout Giggles @2.1.5    2 weeks ago

He usually grills everything except those and wings he puts in the big easy.

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Junior Participates
3  cobaltblue    2 weeks ago

Count Boebert in!

Shooters made headlines a few times over the course of its nearly decade-long run, and almost never for the reasons you’d want to be in the news if you ran a restaurant. In 2017, Boebert’s business was the source of a widespread   food poisoning outbreak   after she set up shop at the Garfield County fair and served pork sliders out of a temporary location that was not properly permitted. At least 80 people got sick, with many experiencing   nausea and bloody diarrhea .

Guns n' Shit

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
3.1  devangelical  replied to  cobaltblue @3    2 weeks ago

I think her and her exhibitionist husband still might run the restaurant at a golf course in rifle colorado.

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
3.1.1  Ender  replied to  devangelical @3.1    2 weeks ago

Maybe that is why she is skinny. Her cooking makes herself puke.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
3.1.2  devangelical  replied to  Ender @3.1.1    2 weeks ago

she's probably on a strict liquid protein diet while in DC.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
3.1.3  Trout Giggles  replied to  devangelical @3.1.2    2 weeks ago

Let's speculate which liquid. I would say beer but...nah...she probably likes fru fru drinks or drinks rum and cokes

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
3.1.4  author  al Jizzerror  replied to  Trout Giggles @3.1.3    2 weeks ago
Let's speculate which liquid.

Really?

Cum on, you know exactly what fluid Blowbert prefers.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
3.1.5  devangelical  replied to  al Jizzerror @3.1.4    5 days ago

since before she was 14, plain and simple fact.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
3.2  Trout Giggles  replied to  cobaltblue @3    2 weeks ago

She should have been hit by a fine by the health department for that stunt

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
3.2.1  devangelical  replied to  Trout Giggles @3.2    2 weeks ago

she's had many run-ins with state business officials, law enforcement agencies and state and federal tax authorities.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
3.2.2  Trout Giggles  replied to  devangelical @3.2.1    2 weeks ago

And the people of her district elected her anyway. Is everybody in that district descendants of Jesse James and Billy the Kid?

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
3.2.3  Ender  replied to  Trout Giggles @3.2.2    2 weeks ago

I am beginning to think some people only care about an R after a name.

It doesn't matter to some as long as they are in the party...

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
3.2.4  devangelical  replied to  Trout Giggles @3.2.2    5 days ago

she didn't win her home county in '18 and I don't think she even carried the town where she lives in '20.

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
4  author  al Jizzerror    2 weeks ago

Guns n' Shit

STD and shit:

512

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
4.1  Ender  replied to  al Jizzerror @4    2 weeks ago

Oh yeah, let's get some young blood in congress. It is exactly what we need.....s/

Nothing like whooping and hollering like they were at a Bieber concert on the chamber floor...

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
4.1.1  Trout Giggles  replied to  Ender @4.1    2 weeks ago

Did you really expect dignity from these low class, brain dead, hussies?

 
 

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