The Revolution Will Not Be Televised
In the Sumer of 2021 I was sitting in a circle vaping sinsemilla with my stoner friends when we came up with THE PLAN.
Because the fucking Republicans had a plan (that they tried to keep secret) to defund Social Security and Medicare. Oh, and, of course, they planned to kill Obamacare (as usual).
So, naturally, we decided to design a master plan to kill Republicans. Well, we didn't really want to murder anyone (well, there was this one guy , Mahatma, who wanted to kill them all ). Our actual objective was to mock and ridicule the Republicans and make it extremely uncool to for them to eliminate the most popular government programs in US history.
We decided to attack in waves. The first wave of attackers would be the geezers. The oldest Americans had the most to lose. The Republicans were going to eliminate their income and their healthcare.
So we contacted Willard Scott to get his birthday list of everybody over a hundred years old in the United States. We figured if the oldest geezers attacked first, the Republicans would look like the bullies they are if they fought back. We used Willard Scott's list and to attempted to speak with all of the "woke" geezers we could locate.
Unfortunately, Willard Scott's list was never updated. For some reason, we was unable to contact most of the hundred year old geezers. A lot of the geezers that we were able to contact very politely told us to, "FUCK OFF". I decided to ask Willard Scott to talk to the geezers for me, since they worship the shit out of him, but I couldn't reach him either.
Then we decided to take a break and get high again. We were Vaping some killer sinsemilla and watching NBC, where Willard Scott worked for 65 fucking years. That's when we saw the headline: "WILLARD SCOTT DEAD AT 87". So, we "86ed" the geezer part of the plan.
Then NBC ran a "Special" to honor Willard Scott. We were vaping the whole time. Ironically, Scott's greatest achievement was that he created Ronald McDonald.
Then, for some reason, we all had a "Big Mac attacks". So we went to McDonald's and bought dozens of Big Macs . Then we vaped for a while before going back and getting we all got happy meals for desert. That's when we came up with Plan B . We decided to visit Republican National Headquarters and drink some Ipecac Syrup. We could then render the building completely disgusting just like the people who occupied the place. We got the idea from " Family Guy ."
Plan B may seem kinda strange butt it is appropriate because Republicans have been making Americans puke for years.