Why Did the Snow in Utah turn Pink?
Utah Blanketed by Pink Snow for Pride Day
June 17, 2023 (al Jizzerror Fake News) - The plentiful snow pack in Utah has turned pink. It is purely coincidental that it happened on "Pride Day". Scientists say it’s the result of a green algae bloom that thrives in snow. The algae is called, “ Chlamydomonas ”. The pink snow is often called “watermelon snow.” Some members of the LGBTQ community are calling it "rainbow snow".
A Local sheriff in Utah, Red Neckerson is warning Utah residents to avoid contact with the “gay snow”. He claims that the snow will infect people with Chlamydia (a common STD) that he claims turns people gay. Sheriff Neckerson has contacted the military to secure flame throwers for his deputies to eradicate the gay snow. When questioned about the possibility of sparking forest fires, Neckerson said, I’m sure the good people of Utah would rather burn than become homosexuals.
Naturally, Rhonda DeSatan, the homophobic governor of Florida, has asked the Florida legislature to pass a preemptive law to outlaw pink snow in Florida. DeSatan said, “the snow in Utah was originally white but it has transitioned to become pink. We cannot permit that to happen here because the “pink trans snow" will groom our children and turn them into mutants.
We don't need no stinking rules.
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Sheriff Red Neckerson advises everyone to use a condom if you are going to touch the pink snow.
the rednecks are too busy eating the yellow snow...
Rednecks think yellow snow is beer.
they like free beer snow cones...
Sure is pretty
I am losing it. Can't think of anything funny to say. It is cool looking.
At first I thought it was a gag but it's real
Yeah, I like to use real shit in my satire.
The algae really is called, “Chlamydomonas ,” butt I made up the shit about "Chlamydia".
I'd run with that, there's a dozen here that would believe it. send trump a tweet.
I had to look it up because I wasn't sure but chlamydia is caused by a bacteria. Totally different animal from an algae which is considered to be a plant
I know just enough biology to be extremely dangerous
We used to call it "cat clap".
I don't know why.
wasn't there a movie with a character of that name, a princess?
I'm thinking monty python or mel brooks...
I'll keep looking...
DeSantis is saying that the ''pink snow'' violates Flordia's ''don't say gay'' law and has offered that when he becomes president he will make it a federal law. LDS is at a crossroads in Utah, The Ute tribe is doing a pink snow dance since tourists are paying BIG BUCKS to see the pink snow on a guided Indigenous lead tour.
The possibilities are endless.
When was the last time Florida got snow?
Just before Ron "Tony" DeSantis said, "Say hello to my little friend."
1977 it snowed in Miami for the first time in recorded history. A few years ago there was a few snowflakes in the Florida panhandle which is actually more like Alabama east than Florida.
LOL, perfect.
I have never watched that movie in its entirety. I need to
I believe snowflakes in the panhandle. A few years ago we went to FLA to visit my son who lives in Navarre. I swear it was colder there than back in Arkansas
I haven't seen it since it came out on VHS in the '80s. If you are interested in it try to also track down and see the Scarface movie from 1932 as well. It was banned across the country as "glorifying violence". Both are fun if you like over the top mobster movies.
I can't imagine the original being the same or even more graphic than the remake.
My dad was a Navy pilot. We moved from NAS Argentia, Newfoundland to NAS Key West. We visited our cousins in Maryland on the way and gave them our cold weather gear.
On our first night in Key West the temperature was below the freezing point. The house we were in had no insulation and no heat. We slept in our clothes and piled all of our blankets on top of us.
I want to thank all of the homophobic White-wing knuckle draggers for avoiding this article.
It's refreshing that all of the participants on this thread are intelligent enlightened NewsTalkers.
You all need stop stop making me think of Frank Zappa now.
Man was a genius , but I don't think he ever saw pink...
See? Now I am jamming in Joe's garage...
careful, you'll wind up working in a gas station...
For the homophobes...
Classic shit.
I used to get all paranoid when I got loaded and then hide my stash. then I could never find it when I was straight.
now I just scratch off the thc labels on the vape pen cartridges...