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Patton Oswalt Roasts Ted Cruz on Twitter | PEOPLE.com

  

Category:  News & Politics

Via:  jbb  •  3 years ago  •  17 comments

By:   PEOPLE. com

Patton Oswalt Roasts Ted Cruz on Twitter | PEOPLE.com
"Okay Ted, here we go...." the comedian wrote before launching into a thread directed at the Texas lawmaker's controversies

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T



"Okay Ted, here we go...." the comedian wrote before launching into a thread directed at the Texas lawmaker's controversies

Texas Sen. Ted Cruz seemingly got more tweets than he bargained for this week when he taunted Patton Oswalt over Oswalt's comedy career and COVID-19 safety.

Cruz, 50, took the first shot, on Thursday re-tweeting a headline about Oswalt, 52, canceling stand-up shows in Florida and Utah because the venues wouldn't require audience members be vaccinated.

"Both of his fans were disappointed," the Texas Republican, who has a habit of social media provocation, wrote above the article.

Oswalt responded in-kind, taking Cruz to task for a number of controversies and gaffes in a thread directed at the former Republican presidential candidate.

"Okay Ted, here we go.... Not as disappointed as Texas was when you cut your Cancun vacation short and came home," Oswalt wrote first, a nod to Cruz's much criticized February trip to Mexico as his constituents went days without water or heat during a deadly winter storm. (Cruz called it a "mistake.")

Oswalt continued: "Ted, you Tweeted this at 1am. Put the phone down and return to liquid form for a few hours."

And then, in a reference to Cruz's objection to the presidential election results shortly before pro-Trump rioters stormed the U.S. Capitol : "Ted, my fans are all at home, waiting to see you at the January 6th hearings."

"I'm so flattered you took time from your porn scrolling for this, Ted," Oswalt said in his final jab at the lawmaker, a reference to a 2017 pornographic tweet, which was "liked" on Twitter by Cruz's official account. (The senator attributed it to a "staffing issue," and said it was "a mistake.")

The comedian ended his thread by saying he had "fun" and calling Cruz "a friendless, cowardly embarrassment" whose "beard looks stupid."

Ted Cruz Sen. Ted Cruz | Credit: Jonathan Newton-Pool/Getty

This is far from Cruz's first war of words. The former debate hall of famer has a willingness to wade into back-and-forths with people ranging from Mark Cuban to Seth Rogen.

Even those in his own party have reportedly had a hard time finding Cruz likable.

Former South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley reportedly "burst into laughter" after a meeting with him in 2016 where she found him "awkward" and "insincere."

And former Speaker of the House John Boehner once called him "Lucifer in the flesh" and a "miserable son of a bitch." Boehner also reportedly told Cruz "go f--- yourself," while recording his audiobook.


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JBB
Professor Principal
1  seeder  JBB    3 years ago

Cruz is disliked by everyone. Even his wife hates him!

 
 
 
MrFrost
Professor Expert
1.1  MrFrost  replied to  JBB @1    3 years ago

His kids aren't big fans either. 

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
Professor Participates
1.2  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  JBB @1    3 years ago

After Trump totally dissed her and not only did Cruz not defend her but became a total maggot and went on to glue his lips to Trump's ass having drunk the kool aid.  Why she still stayed with him is beyond me.  I would have gotten me a top notch divorce lawyer and took him to the cleaners.

 
 
 
MrFrost
Professor Expert
1.3  MrFrost  replied to  JBB @1    3 years ago

512

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
1.3.1  devangelical  replied to  MrFrost @1.3    3 years ago

ever since then, heidi does ted with a strap-on while making him wear a tutu, nipple clamps, and bunny ears.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
1.3.3  Trout Giggles  replied to  devangelical @1.3.1    3 years ago

The bunny ears are a nice touch

 
 
 
JBB
Professor Principal
1.3.4  seeder  JBB  replied to  MrFrost @1.3    3 years ago

Heidi Heidi Heidi High? Heidi Heidi Heidi Ho?

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
1.3.5  devangelical  replied to  Trout Giggles @1.3.3    3 years ago

a pippi longstocking braided pigtails wig seemed a bit much...

 
 
 
MrFrost
Professor Expert
2  MrFrost    3 years ago

Who the hell provokes a professional comic that hates you?

That's just dumb.. 

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
2.1  Trout Giggles  replied to  MrFrost @2    3 years ago

A senseless, witless, moronic twat waffle aka Ted Cruz

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
Professor Participates
2.2  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  MrFrost @2    3 years ago

If you poke a hornet's nest with a stick, be prepared to get stung.

 
 
 
bbl-1
Professor Quiet
3  bbl-1    3 years ago

Ted Cruz?  Uh.  Never mind.  What is the point?

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
4  Kavika     3 years ago

When the going gets tough Ted heads to Cancun.

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
Professor Participates
4.1  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  Kavika @4    3 years ago

Then he blames his kids for the trip.

 
 
 
Thrawn 31
Professor Guide
4.1.1  Thrawn 31  replied to  Paula Bartholomew @4.1    3 years ago

Lol right? 

 
 
 
Vic Eldred
Professor Principal
5  Vic Eldred    3 years ago

Gee....A seed on name calling featuring the comic who brought the skin crawling character of Spence Olchin to life!

 
 
 
Thrawn 31
Professor Guide
5.1  Thrawn 31  replied to  Vic Eldred @5    3 years ago

[deleted]

 
 

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