White House Urges Kamala Harris To Sit At Computer All Day In Case Emails Come Through
Category: SatireVia: gregtx • 3 weeks ago • 1 comments
By: The Onion
WASHINGTON—Appointing her to lead what they described as an absolutely essential initiative, top White House officials reportedly selected Vice President Kamala Harris to sit at a computer throughout regular working hours Friday in case any new emails came through.
"This is a really important job, Madam Vice President, and we can't entrust it to just anyone," said White House Chief of Staff Ron Klain, explaining to Harris that she was needed to head up the new Presidential Email Task Force, which, though it would not have access to President Biden's account for security reasons, would be tasked with monitoring firstname.lastname@example.org. "We need your eyes on that inbox. It should refresh automatically, but if it goes a long time without a new message coming in, you may want to manually reload the page, just to make sure. That will be your call. We're counting on you, Kamala. This assignment could very well determine your legacy as vice president." Klain went on to tell Harris that if she received a pressing email or one that required a response, it must immediately be forwarded to more senior officials for review.
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