Report: Hillary Clinton Tried To Prove Trump Was Colluding With Russians By Colluding With Russians

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  gregtx  •  4 weeks ago  •  13 comments

By:   November 5th, 2021 - BabylonBee.com

Report: Hillary Clinton Tried To Prove Trump Was Colluding With Russians By Colluding With Russians
“I knew I was right about that turncoat, Trump. All it took was a bit of sleuthing on my part, as well as a pinch of collusion with high-level Russians and incidental bribes, promises, back-door handshakes, secret emails, murders, etc.” said the former First Lady and Secretary of Email Servers as she stared longingly south toward the nation’s capital.

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T



CHAPPAQUA, NY—Newly obtained indictment documents prove that former presidential candidate and election integrity doubter Hillary Clinton successfully proved Trump’s collusion with Russians after she hired, worked with, bribed, sought counsel from, visited, made deals with, and colluded with the Russians.

Speaking from her home in New York because there has been no valid reason for her to reside in D.C. for the past five years, Clinton celebrated her efforts to prove that Donald Trump had once talked to a person who was also a Russian.

“I knew I was right about that turncoat, Trump. All it took was a bit of sleuthing on my part, as well as a pinch of collusion with high-level Russians and incidental bribes, promises, back-door handshakes, secret emails, murders, etc.” said the former First Lady and Secretary of Email Servers as she stared longingly south toward the nation’s capital.

When informed that Igor Danchenko had been arrested for lying about the Steele dossier’s incontrovertible connection to her, Hillary Clinton immediately expressed her condolences about Danchenko’s unfortunate, fatal accident that would soon occur in his prison cell.

She then asked to be excused so she could make a few phone calls.

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GregTx
Sophomore Participates
1  seeder  GregTx    4 weeks ago

original

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
2  Texan1211    4 weeks ago

Perfect!!

And funny!

 
 
 
Dismayed Patriot
Professor Participates
3  Dismayed Patriot    4 weeks ago

“I knew I was right about that turncoat, Trump. All it took was a bit of sleuthing on my part, as well as a pinch of collusion with high-level Russians and incidental bribes, promises, back-door handshakes, secret emails, murders, etc.” said the former First Lady and Secretary of Email Servers as she stared longingly south toward the nation’s capital.

When asked for comment Donald Trump said "What a bunch of suckers! Ha! That bitch didn't know the half of it. Of course I had to do what Putin wanted, if I didn't he would have let the world know about the hundreds of millions of dollars he loaned me under the table to keep my real estate empire afloat during the great recession and show everyone that video of me pissing on underage Russian hookers while they fingered my asshole!".

Donald Trump Jr. added "We called him uncle Puttie after he covered up my drunken night high on cocaine and absinth in a Russian club where I thought I was in the African jungle killing a lion that turned out to be some Russian prostitute whose throat I slit with a broken champagne glass. He was a true life saver! All the work we did to pay him back when dad became President was nothing compared to what he did for our family...".

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
3.1  Texan1211  replied to  Dismayed Patriot @3    4 weeks ago

Weak and Pee Wee Herman-like.

 
 
 
Dismayed Patriot
Professor Participates
3.1.1  Dismayed Patriot  replied to  Texan1211 @3.1    4 weeks ago
Weak and Pee Wee Herman-like.

No more weak and lame than the conservative satire seed above, I was simply playing along with the satire. I guess some don't see it as funny when the tables are turned, likely because they are so invested in insane conservative conspiracy theories that they didn't recognize it as satire and have already shared Hillary's supposed quote with all their Qanon friends on Facebook as if it were fact.

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
3.1.2  Tessylo  replied to  Dismayed Patriot @3.1.1    4 weeks ago

So this is satire?

jrSmiley_10_smiley_image.gif

It takes being clever and smart to pull it off.

This is a complete fail!

 
 
 
Ronin2
PhD Quiet
3.2  Ronin2  replied to  Dismayed Patriot @3    4 weeks ago

Stop projecting Hunter Biden.

"We called him uncle Puttie after he covered up my drunken night high on cocaine and absinth in a Russian club here I thought I was in the African jungle killing a lion that turned out to be some Russian prostitute whose throat I slit with a broken champagne glass. He was a true life saver! All the work we did to pay him back when dad became President was nothing compared to what he did for our family...".

There is only one drunken drug user son of a politician- and we all know it is Hunter Biden; and the only paybacks are coming from Uncle Joe. He even is willing to admit it openly.

Epic fail, next time try coming up with something original.

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
3.2.1  Tessylo  replied to  Ronin2 @3.2    4 weeks ago

Speaking of projection plus deflection and denial plus lack of originality.  

 
 
 
Jeremy Retired in NC
Senior Participates
3.3  Jeremy Retired in NC  replied to  Dismayed Patriot @3    4 weeks ago
When asked for comment Donald Trump said "What a bunch of suckers! Ha! That bitch didn't know the half of it. Of course I had to do what Putin wanted, if I didn't he would have let the world know about the hundreds of millions of dollars he loaned me under the table to keep my real estate empire afloat during the great recession and show everyone that video of me pissing on underage Russian hookers while they fingered my asshole!".

You have a link for this quote or did you pull it out of your 4th point of contact?

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
3.3.1  Tessylo  replied to  Jeremy Retired in NC @3.3    4 weeks ago

jrSmiley_78_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Dismayed Patriot
Professor Participates
3.3.2  Dismayed Patriot  replied to  Jeremy Retired in NC @3.3    4 weeks ago
You have a link for this quote

Of course I do! It's from the same place that the seeded articles Hillary quote is from...

Go ahead and share it with all your Qanon friends on Facebook.

 
 
 
Jeremy Retired in NC
Senior Participates
3.3.3  Jeremy Retired in NC  replied to  Dismayed Patriot @3.3.2    3 weeks ago

So it is from your 4th point of contact.  I also notice you are stuck in the 1st grade.

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
3.3.4  Tessylo  replied to  Jeremy Retired in NC @3.3.3    3 weeks ago

Seems all your responses are from your 'fourth point of contact' jrSmiley_80_smiley_image.gif

 
 
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