After Watching Biden Town Hall, President Xi Decides It's Time To Invade Taiwan
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
BEIJING—After gathering around the TV with some popcorn to watch Joe Biden's Town Hall event on CNN, President Xi and his military generals have decided the time is right to invade Taiwan.
Biden was asked about Taiwan, and while his answer concerned many, the Chinese generals were elated.
"Listen folks, uh... what's everyone doing at my house? And why is my house a CNN stage?" said Biden in his classic folksy way, while clenching his fists as he was also filling his diaper. "Whippersnapper! Eh, I shouldn't say that. Uh, well anyway..."
"Look at him!" said President Xi to his commanders while eating from a jar of honey with his bare hands. "He freezes at easy question like frightened stork! We take back that puny island easy! Biden no stop us!" Xi then rang a gong and tied his written orders to the legs of messenger cranes, which flew to the four corners of the Middle Kingdom to signal the attack.
CNN later reported that Biden's fist-clenching episode was actually a powerful fighting stance from martial arts to show his incredible strength and strike fear in the hearts of tyrants all over the world.
"Biden not even doing pose right! He standing like sissy! That's not even how you do crouching dragon fighting style!" said silly old President Xi.
Biden later released a statement that if China attacks Taiwan he will totally evacuate everyone safely so there's nothing to worry about.
Tags
Who is online
46 visitors
Winnie the Pooh, chairman Xi…
The Biden admin panicking and cutting the feed of the taiwanese representative’s presentation to the democracy summit for daring to use different colors for Taiwan and China tells you all about to know.
Biden acts like he's ready to go to war over the Ukraine but he and the rest of the government are unwilling publicly admit that Taiwan is an independent sovereign nation and has been for over 75 years. England has more of a legitimate claim over the USA than the Peoples Republic of China has over Taiwan.