People Who Say They Aren't Censoring Anyone Really Mad They Won't Be Able To Censor Anyone

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  gregtx  •  2 months ago  •  23 comments

People Who Say They Aren't Censoring Anyone Really Mad They Won't Be Able To Censor Anyone
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Reports are flooding in that the same exact people who said that they are not censoring anybody are absolutely furious that they won't be able to censor anyone.Now that Elon Musk - who is a strong proponent of free speech - has purchased Twitter, many employees worry that their days of inappropriately censoring opposing view ...

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T



SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Reports are flooding in that the same exact people who said that they are not censoring anybody are absolutely furious that they won't be able to censor anyone.

Now that Elon Musk—who is a strong proponent of free speech—has purchased Twitter, many employees worry that their days of inappropriately censoring opposing views are numbered.

"So we're just going to let people freely say whatever they want now? What if they say something we don't like?" said Eliza Stephens, a Twitter content moderator who claims to have never ever censored anyone before. "How else will we prove we are right if we can't silence the opposition entirely. If conservatives aren't handicapped at every turn their ideas may catch on or be better than ours. AHHHHH!"

Other employees adamantly agreed that censoring people was not something they ever did. They explained that they simply limited their audience drastically and throttled their views all without that person's knowledge. "They were still able to have freedom of speech, just not to as many people as they wanted, even if those people would have wanted to hear what they were saying," said Kelly Burbank. "Clearly not censorship."

According to sources, when news broke that Elon Musk hoped to bring transparency and end partisan censorship, Twitter employees fell to the ground, tearing at their clothes while shouting, "NOOOOOOO! Content moderation is a human right! Limiting the speech of others is an expression of my free speech!"

At publishing time, the censors who were not censoring, nor had they ever censored, had to be locked out of the Twitter code for fear that they might sabotage the code and censor conservatives—a thing that they have never done before.

Mandy is absolutely triggered by Twitter's possible takeover by Elon Musk. She attends a Twitter-sponsored therapy session to help her cope.


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GregTx
Junior Participates
1  seeder  GregTx    2 months ago
You are not angry with people when you laugh at them. Humor teaches tolerance.

W. Somerset Maugham

 
 
 
XXJefferson51
Senior Guide
2  XXJefferson51    2 months ago
many employees worry that their days of inappropriately censoring opposing views are numbered. "So we're just going to let people freely say whatever they want now? What if they say something we don't like?" said Eliza Stephens, a Twitter content moderator who claims to have never ever censored anyone before. "How else will we prove we are right if we can't silence the opposition entirely. If conservatives aren't handicapped at every turn their ideas may catch on or be better than ours. AHHHHH!"
 
 
 
Snuffy
Senior Guide
2.1  Snuffy  replied to  XXJefferson51 @2    2 months ago

They don't need to worry about their days being numbered.  There's a whole new government agency just opened up for them, they can all go to work for the federal government and keep on doing what they do.  I mean, come on.  A new agency?  That's a lot of new job openings cuz you gotta keep that government bloat going...   

 
 
 
Nerm_L
PhD Principal
3  Nerm_L    2 months ago

Kinda hard wrapping the old noggin around this being satire.  

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
3.1  Sparty On  replied to  Nerm_L @3    2 months ago

Lol ..... exactly what I was thinking.

 
 
 
Tacos!
Professor Expert
4  Tacos!    2 months ago

I suspect they’re more worried that they themselves will be censored.

 
 
 
XXJefferson51
Senior Guide
4.1  XXJefferson51  replied to  Tacos! @4    2 months ago

But it will be great that Twitter will become the 2nd most free speech tolerant site in social media.  

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
4.1.1  Tessylo  replied to  XXJefferson51 @4.1    2 months ago

What's the first and don't kid yourself about Twitter.  I mean what's the big deal, really?  No one is actually being censored like y'all keep claiming.  

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
4.1.2  Texan1211  replied to  Tessylo @4.1.1    2 months ago

Then nothing to worry about!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
 
 
Right Down the Center
Freshman Guide
4.1.3  Right Down the Center  replied to  Tessylo @4.1.1    2 months ago

Then how do you explain all the liberal heads exploding. Then again I guess they do often explode over nothing.

 
 
 
Right Down the Center
Freshman Guide
4.1.4  Right Down the Center  replied to  Tessylo @4.1.1    2 months ago

Your favorite person in the world, at least the person you talk about the most, is banned on Twitter. Being banned is the same as being censored isn't it?

 
 
 
JBB
Professor Principal
4.1.5  JBB  replied to  Right Down the Center @4.1.4    2 months ago

No, not when it is private media entity merely exercising its editorial right to determine who and what their content will consist of. When it is a business decision and not governmental policy. I cannot force Fox News to allow me to editorialize on their platforms any more than The New York Times must publish yours...

There are other places to express ourselves.

 
 
 
Right Down the Center
Freshman Guide
4.1.6  Right Down the Center  replied to  JBB @4.1.5    2 months ago

Twitter was not enforcing their own rules consistently and were censoring people they did not like. If fox has message boards they do not censor some comments on them.

 
 
 
Thrawn 31
Professor Guide
4.1.7  Thrawn 31  replied to  Right Down the Center @4.1.4    2 months ago

It is t being censored. They are a private entity and are not obligated to let anyone use their platform. People can always go out and try to make their own Twitter knockoff.

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
5  Tessylo    2 months ago

278982781_8013748081984343_2387089729193354442_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s600x600&_nc_cat=1&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=7drhNexBzg4AX8O9qt9&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-1.xx&oh=00_AT_EUAW69GPtTcyQmtkklmyyoHoEzjV3TwHRSwq9jjBtcA&oe=6270DC5F

 
 
 
Right Down the Center
Freshman Guide
5.1  Right Down the Center  replied to  Tessylo @5    2 months ago

I hope liberals read this.

 
 
 
XXJefferson51
Senior Guide
5.1.1  XXJefferson51  replied to  Right Down the Center @5.1    2 months ago

gv042922dAPR-390x220.jpg

Gary VarvelApril 29, 2022
0

Melting Point

See more @Varvel toons HERE.

Read More »

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
5.2  Sparty On  replied to  Tessylo @5    2 months ago

Now that is laugh out loud funny!

 
 
 
squiggy
Sophomore Quiet
5.3  squiggy  replied to  Tessylo @5    2 months ago

Wow. You quit the shtick? Welcome!

 
 
 
Lucifer Morningstar
Professor Guide
6  Lucifer Morningstar    2 months ago

A Twitter sponsored therapy session to cope?, it’s plausible,  hell anything they falls into the complete frickin douche bag category is possible with lefty  wingnuts.

 
 
 
Thrawn 31
Professor Guide
7  Thrawn 31    2 months ago

Meh, Twitter was always fucking stupid, but now I see it basically becoming 4chan or something similar. Probably for the best though.

 
 
 
XXJefferson51
Senior Guide
7.1  XXJefferson51  replied to  Thrawn 31 @7    2 months ago

That’s a fairly low opinion in which to hold the 1st amendment to the US Constitution and the freedom of expression/speech. Is the lefts concept of we the people so low that they assume the worst unless they can be set up to micromanage our every utterance and expression? 

 
 
 
bugsy
Professor Participates
7.1.1  bugsy  replied to  XXJefferson51 @7.1    2 months ago

I can't wait to start seeing leftists calling for the shut down of Twitter because they will no longer be able to freely insult those that simply don't agree with them without repercussion.

 
 

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