Republicans relieved no fetuses killed in Texas school shooting

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  hallux  •  one month ago  •  17 comments

By:   Staff

Republicans relieved no fetuses killed in Texas school shooting

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T



Uvalde, TX – A wave of relief washed over the Republican party today as they learned no fetuses were harmed in yesterday’s shootings at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas.

“Thank God,” said Texas Republican spokesperson Denver Fortsworth. “Just bornies this time.”

“Like everyone, when I heard some of the children were only 8, I was horrified that so much innocent life had been cruelly taken in an act of violent savagery” said anti- abortion   activist Janet Marn, “But when I found out they were 8 years old, not 8 weeks or months, well that’s a whole different thing. I mean these kids were in, what, the 29th trimester?“

Across the state   pro-life   Republicans   took comfort in the fact that no clumps of non-sentient cells had been destroyed, just the lives of children and their family members who will never recover.

Forstworth reiterated the long-standing policy of the   GOP : “once you’ve exited the vessel, you’re on your own. I mean 8 years old? They should have been carrying weapons.”

At press time, Alex Jones was too busy with bankruptcy paperwork to accuse the Uvalde parents of faking the whole thing.


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Hallux
Sophomore Principal
1  seeder  Hallux    one month ago

Canadian Sour:

I part satire

2 parts sadism

Mix well, then swill and spew.

 
 
 
RU4Real
Freshman Silent
2  RU4Real    one month ago

You can't fix stupid

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
3  devangelical    one month ago

white supremacists dodge a bullet.

 
 
 
afrayedknot
Freshman Quiet
4  afrayedknot    one month ago

Too soon.

The minute we make fun is the minute we fail to address the issue in an attempt to reconcile the pain. All well and good…but just when is enough enough.

Apologies for no longer willing to accept the status quo. 

 
 
 
Hallux
Sophomore Principal
4.1  seeder  Hallux  replied to  afrayedknot @4    one month ago
The minute we make fun is the minute we fail to address the issue

The minute we collectively kneejerk into 'thoughts and prayers' is the beginning of failure.

 
 
 
afrayedknot
Freshman Quiet
4.1.1  afrayedknot  replied to  Hallux @4.1    one month ago

Well said, Hallux. And we witness that failure with all too frequent commonality. 

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
5  Kavika     one month ago

According to a prominent Texas politician, “we need more guns to stop this sort of thing.”

Oh yeah, that’s the ticket. 

 
 
 
charger 383
Professor Quiet
6  charger 383    one month ago

Some satire and truth to this; If the fetus that became Salvador Ramos had been aborted this would not have happened.  

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Freshman Principal
7  Drinker of the Wry    one month ago
If the fetus that became Salvador Ramos had been aborted this would not have happened.  

If every fetus is aborted, global warming will decrease over time.

 
 
 
Greg Jones
Professor Guide
8  Greg Jones    one month ago

Leftist ghouls exploiting a tragedy for a few chuckles.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
8.1  devangelical  replied to  Greg Jones @8    one month ago

I have a few hilarious suggestions for your next FB live stream...

 
 
 
Jeremy Retired in NC
PhD Guide
8.2  Jeremy Retired in NC  replied to  Greg Jones @8    one month ago

Ignorance at it's best.  

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
8.3  Texan1211  replied to  Greg Jones @8    one month ago

Did you really expect anything different?

 
 
 
Hallux
Sophomore Principal
8.4  seeder  Hallux  replied to  Greg Jones @8    one month ago

Canadian ghouls never die, they just smell that way.

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
9  Tessylo    one month ago

The stock prices of the top 5 US gun- and ammo-makers rose the morning after a Texas school shooting that left at least 21 people dead

jrSmiley_98_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Freshman Principal
9.1  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  Tessylo @9    one month ago
The stock prices of the top 5 US gun- and ammo-makers

Bold talk Tessylo, mighty bold talk.

 
 
 
Freefaller
Professor Participates
10  Freefaller    one month ago

Well done, that was some good satire

 
 

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