Aides Worried Biden May Have Concussion As He Starts Speaking Coherently

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  gregtx  •  one week ago  •  8 comments

Aides Worried Biden May Have Concussion As He Starts Speaking Coherently
REHOBOTH BEACH, DE - Aides are fearful President Biden may have suffered a severe concussion from his bike wreck this morning, as he has suddenly begun speaking coherently.'He got into the presidential limo and said verbatim, 'I think rapidly adding trillions of dollars in liquidity could be accelerating inflation!' - that's ...

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T



REHOBOTH BEACH, DE—Aides are fearful President Biden may have suffered a severe concussion from his bike wreck this morning, as he has suddenly begun speaking coherently.

"He got into the presidential limo and said verbatim, 'I think rapidly adding trillions of dollars in liquidity could be accelerating inflation!'—that's when I knew something was wrong," said Secret Service agent Paul Mancuso. "If he doesn't start slurring his speech and mumbling incoherently soon, we'll have to get him to a doctor."

Reporters on the scene of the crash said Biden could be heard screaming 'Putiiiin!' as his bike toppled sideways. Dr. Jill Biden immediately rushed to her husband, prepared to give a lecture on education. "I'm ok, I'm ok!" said Biden, quickly getting back to his feet. "In fact, I was just thinking how selecting people for nationally significant roles based on intersectionality as opposed to merit will likely lead to harming minorities due to leadership incompetence," said Biden to a stunned crowd. "What? Why is everyone staring at me?"

News of Biden's tumble quickly spread through media, with the cast of The View responding by all falling off their bikes on live TV to show how normal it is. Former President Trump, for his part, mocked Biden by entering a rally on a BMX bike and nailing a perfect 180 tailwhip. "No handle bars, not even hard!" said Mr. Trump, laughing as he biked around the stage. "What a loser!"

At publishing time, aides were reportedly breathing a sigh of relief as Biden yelled at them to "Stop undermining my statements about sparmaglerbin!"


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GregTx
Junior Participates
1  seeder  GregTx    one week ago

Thankfully the old guy is okay....

384

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Freshman Principal
2  Drinker of the Wry    one week ago

What's Biden doing with an expensive vacation house in Rehoboth Beach, DE?  The racial demographics are:

 
 
 
Sean Treacy
Professor Expert
2.1  Sean Treacy  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @2    one week ago

Staying far away from cornpop

 
 
 
GregTx
Junior Participates
2.2  seeder  GregTx  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @2    one week ago

Probably just smells really nice there,

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Freshman Principal
2.2.1  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  GregTx @2.2    one week ago

Chappaqua Demographics

Hillary’s little town is less white and less Black. The racial composition of Chappaquawas:

  • White: 79.57%
  • Asian: 16.10%
  • Two or more races: 2.44%
  • Other race: 1.67%
  • Native Hawaiian or Pacific Islander: 0.23%
  • Black or African American: 0.00%
  • Native American: 0.00%
 
 
 
GregTx
Junior Participates
2.2.2  seeder  GregTx  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @2.2.1    one week ago

At least Ace made it out..

 
 
 
Vic Eldred
Professor Principal
3  Vic Eldred    one week ago

Eddie once said  "She falls down a well, her eyes go cross. She gets kicked by a mule. They go back."....Christmas Vacation.

Go figure

 
 
 
Lucifer Morningstar
Professor Guide
4  Lucifer Morningstar    one week ago

Well at least since he was on his tricycle he didn’t have too far to fall to hit the ground.

 
 

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