Republicans Cheer As Beto O'Rourke Digs Giant Sinkhole For Democrats To Pour Their Money In

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  gregtx  •  2 months ago  •  8 comments

Republicans Cheer As Beto O'Rourke Digs Giant Sinkhole For Democrats To Pour Their Money In
AUSTIN, TX — Republicans are happily applauding gubernatorial candidate Beto O'Rourke as he continues to dig an enormous sinkhole for Democrats to dump their money into.

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T



AUSTIN, TX — Republicans are happily applauding gubernatorial candidate Beto O'Rourke as he continues to dig an enormous sinkhole for Democrats to dump their money into.

"It's becoming one of my favorite annual events," said Senator Ted Cruz. "The man literally takes hundreds of millions of dollars away from Democratic donors and chucks it into the abyss. Beto seriously might be the best player on our team."

Following O'Rourke's failed Senate candidacy and hilariously futile Presidential run, Democrats are still coming out in droves to throw their money into the void. "It's really inexplicable at this point," said O'Rourke's campaign manager Art Mullinax. "We will make it close, then inevitably lose. But not before we get some great profiles written about Beto being the second coming of JFK and blowing through a hundred million dollars from donors. Looks like we might need a bigger sinkhole!"

Sources from the campaign say that O'Rourke considered building a bonfire to burn the money, but opted for his usual sinkhole. "Tradition is tradition," said O'Rourke as he tossed a suitcase of money into the darkness. "You never know though, if Texas could just suffer a couple more horrific tragedies that I can exploit by being an enormous turd bucket - I might only lose by a couple points!"

At publishing time, Republicans were rejoicing to hear that Governor Newsom had bought TV ads in Texas and Florida in which he feeds money from Democratic donors directly into a shredder.


Tags

jrDiscussion - desc
[]
 
GregTx
Junior Participates
1  seeder  GregTx    2 months ago

384

 
 
 
JBB
Professor Principal
2  JBB    2 months ago

It is true Democrats are raising a lot more cash than the GOP is!

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
2.1  Texan1211  replied to  JBB @2    2 months ago

Spending money foolishly seems to be a hallmark for Democrats.

 
 
 
GregTx
Junior Participates
2.2  seeder  GregTx  replied to  JBB @2    2 months ago

 
 
 
GregTx
Junior Participates
2.2.1  seeder  GregTx  replied to  GregTx @2.2    2 months ago

You know what? Nevermind that deserves it's own seed.

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Freshman Principal
2.3  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  JBB @2    2 months ago

Income inequality?

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
2.4  Tessylo  replied to  JBB @2    2 months ago

Just more unfunny satire from Greg?

Hard to tell

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
3  Texan1211    2 months ago

Democrats seem to love to throw money in sinkholes!

 
 

Who is online

Drinker of the Wry
bugsy
Revillug
CB
Sparty On
Kavika
Snuffy


22 visitors