Brittney Griner Rewarded With 9 Years Of Not Hearing The U.S. National Anthem
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
MOSCOW — WNBA star Brittney Griner has been found guilty of drug trafficking charges in Russia. The judge has sentenced Griner to 9 years in a Russian penal colony where she will never have to hear America's national anthem being played.
"I'm thrilled with this ruling," said Griner to reporters. "For 9 years I will be free from the systemic racism of America and will never have to hear that awful national anthem being played. I look forward to living out the next decade far away in beautiful Russia."
Sources close to Griner say she is also thrilled that she got the exact same sentence a man would have gotten for the exact same crime. "In Russia, they really seem to care about closing the sentencing gap between men and women," she said.
Russian authorities say Griner will be given special tasks around the penal colony, such as reaching things on high shelves, pruning the tops of trees, and breaking large rocks into little rocks.
"I just want to say thank you to Vladimir Putin for saving me from the racist hellhole that is the United States, if only for 9 years," said Griner.
At publishing time, President Biden proposed bringing Griner back home by exchanging her for Hunter Biden.
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Sold some pot to Joe Walsh and Bob Marley. Fuck you!
What, 45 years ago. Why did Marley buy Mexican dirt weed?
Ahhh, was that your 15 minutes? Impressive.....
It was pristine!
I knew Marley back in the day.
Yep it was about an hour. I also knew Mick Jagger and Charlie Watts. Good days!
We won't even talk about my long friendship with Lowell George.
Probably only seemed that way to you. But who knows? I don't care what anyone says, I'm still impressed....
No special status for her over there.
Nope, amazing isn't it?
Now she is in a country that she can justifiably hate.
Anyone who likes some good ol' racist humor now and then is a racist.
Fuck 'em.
Fuck off
It's not sports humor.
It's not pot humor.
It's racist humor.
As usual, it's not funny.
As usual, you fail to appreciate satire because it makes some fun of your heroes.
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Don't hold back cj, tell us how you really feel..
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Funny how most Americans feel the same about far left wing communists.
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“…How long…”
…must we be subject to the sophomoric?
To paraphrase; ‘half as clever as one thinks they are and twice as obtuse as ones’ words display.’
So you don't think cjcold was making a real assertion, just trolling?
Again…buttressing the point.
Predictability is apparently somes’ only attribute. Carry on.
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You have to abide by the laws of where you are going, especially if you are going to places less than friendly with the US. There are many Americans in foreign prisons that the government is not going through these lengths to get released. Take care of them first before taking care of her. And then make a deal that couldn't end in America deaths.
Went to Africa once and nearly screwed up. It was a very close thing.
My advice is to not fuck the president's daughter.
Thread 3 locked and tickets issued for disgusting insults
This is simply not funny and the motivation is racist.
There is a real woman in a world of trouble over a small amount of cannabis recommended by a doctor for pain. Professional athletes deal with a lot of chronic pain. All of the available drugs have draw backs.
Apparently cannabis gets you sent to the gulag.
I guess you don't know who Marc Fogel is. He's serving 14 years in a Russian prison for the same offense.
But we didn't hear a goddamn thing about HIM. Just some self-absorbed basketball player with a big mouth.