World In Panic As Science Announces Retirement

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  gregtx  •  one month ago  •  12 comments

World In Panic As Science Announces Retirement
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The entire world is in a panic this morning at the news that Dr. Fauci, the living embodiment of science itself, will be retiring in December. The scientific community is already announcing mass resignations now that the High Priest and the mediator between mankind and the laws of nature will be gone. Experts are predicting a dangerous rise in superstition, divination, and Twitter misinformation without the wise and infallible words of Fauci there to guide humanity toward...

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T



WASHINGTON, D.C. — The entire world is in a panic this morning at the news that Dr. Fauci, the living embodiment of science itself, will be retiring in December. The scientific community is already announcing mass resignations now that the High Priest and the mediator between mankind and the laws of nature will be gone. Experts are predicting a dangerous rise in superstition, divination, and Twitter misinformation without the wise and infallible words of Fauci there to guide humanity toward safety and ultimate perfection.

"This is a disaster," said one scientist. "We are surely headed for another Dark Age without the transcendent wisdom of Gaia's Oracle here to guide us. The end is nigh."

Sources say Fauci plans to spend retirement golfing, spending time with family, and weaponizing Monkeypox in his basement.


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GregTx
Junior Participates
1  seeder  GregTx    one month ago

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Snuffy
Masters Guide
1.1  Snuffy  replied to  GregTx @1    one month ago

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OMG, where ever will we go for our flip-floppery?  Who can save the day to tell us to don't wear masks, then to wear masks, then masks don't work, and back to wearing masks...  /s

 
 
 
MonsterMash
Sophomore Participates
2  MonsterMash    one month ago

Fauci is going to take refuge in China before a Republican congress can investigate him. While there he be working another pandemic to unleash on the world that will disproportionately infect the American people.  

 
 
 
GregTx
Junior Participates
2.1  seeder  GregTx  replied to  MonsterMash @2    one month ago

That might be a little too obvious if he did, but it is curious that the CDC has decided to revamp and reorganize and he has decided to retire.

 
 
 
MrFrost
Professor Principal
3  MrFrost    one month ago

The right hates Fauci because he refused to back trump's EPIC lies about covid. 

End of story. 

 
 
 
GregTx
Junior Participates
3.1  seeder  GregTx  replied to  MrFrost @3    one month ago

People hate Fauci because he's a liar.

End of story.384

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
3.1.1  Tessylo  replied to  GregTx @3.1    one month ago

Ignorant morons like Rand Paul call Dr. Fauci a liar 

 
 
 
GregTx
Junior Participates
3.1.2  seeder  GregTx  replied to  Tessylo @3.1.1    one month ago

Thanks for your comment...

320

 
 
 
Ronin2
Professor Quiet
3.2  Ronin2  replied to  MrFrost @3    one month ago

One human fuck up machine deserves another. Fauci and Brandon found each other. Now Fauci is breaking up with Brandon just before midterms. Whatever will Brandon do?

Seems Fauci doesn't want to face the music if Republicans retake the House and Senate. 

Unfortunately for Fauci, Brandon, and Garland this looks like beginning of the story. It will be called "The 3 Stooges. A tale of never ending lies, deception, and treason". 

 
 
 
Jeremy Retired in NC
PhD Guide
3.3  Jeremy Retired in NC  replied to  MrFrost @3    one month ago

[deleted]

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
3.4  Tessylo  replied to  MrFrost @3    one month ago

More unfunny satire.  Where do they find this garbage?

 
 
 
Ronin2
Professor Quiet
3.4.1  Ronin2  replied to  Tessylo @3.4    one month ago

Same place Democrats find their ethics, morals, and adherence to following and maintaining US laws. 

Check your local dump.

 
 

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