After 15 Grueling House Speaker Votes, America's Long National Nightmare Can Finally Begin

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  gregtx  •  3 weeks ago  •  15 comments

After 15 Grueling House Speaker Votes, America's Long National Nightmare Can Finally Begin
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After a week of grueling votes for Speaker of the House — 15 in total — Kevin McCarthy was finally handed the people's gavel and took his rightful place as Speaker. He lifted it up to the raucous applause of both Democrats and Republicans, signaling that the week of Congressional inactivity was over and the long national nightmare of taxing, spending, and corruption could finally begin.

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T



WASHINGTON, D.C. — After a week of grueling votes for Speaker of the House — 15 in total — Kevin McCarthy was finally handed the people's gavel and took his rightful place as Speaker. He lifted it up to the raucous applause of both Democrats and Republicans, signaling that the week of Congressional inactivity was over and the long national nightmare of taxing, spending, and corruption could finally begin.

"Finally, we will get down to the people's business of stealing all their money for our pet projects, making backroom deals, and holding meaningless investigations where we yell and point angrily at people to get some sweet sound bytes for our reelections," said McCarthy to the assembled warmongers, rapists, and half-dead geriatrics in the room. "Our long congressional nightmare is over, and the long national nightmare is finally here! Huzzah!"

Those in the crowd who were still sober enough to stand then stood and cheered.

Experts predict that business as usual will resume first thing Monday, as politicians give portentous speeches to empty rooms, have important meetings with weapons manufacturers, and attend coke orgies. "Americans are overwhelmingly pleased to be finally achieving a state of normalcy in Washington again," said one pollster.

At publishing time, Congress had already authorized another $100 billion to Ukraine.


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GregTx
Junior Participates
1  seeder  GregTx    3 weeks ago

512

 
 
 
Ronin2
Professor Quiet
2  Ronin2    3 weeks ago
signaling that the week of Congressional inactivity was over and the long national nightmare of taxing, spending, and corruption could finally begin.

If only this were satire.

 
 
 
magicschoolbusdropout
Sophomore Principal
3  magicschoolbusdropout    3 weeks ago

signaling that the week of Congressional inactivity was over and the long national nightmare of taxing, spending, and corruption could finally begin.

Groan ! jrSmiley_98_smiley_image.gif

I loved the "Vacation" from "Government Actions" !

 
 
 
MrFrost
Professor Expert
4  MrFrost    3 weeks ago

The right wing is an embarrassment. Gaetz nominating trump as speaker as if it was all just a joke and fun time. The GOP once again making the USA the laughing stock of the planet. 

And step one? Repeal funding for the IRS. Gee, I thought they were going to tackle inflation and the price of gas? So much for that. Now it's going to be two years of doing nothing but serving their own self interests, witch hunt's, and throwing their own shit at each other. 

MCarthy sold the farm to be speaker, I doubt he will be speaker for more than 2 Scaramucci's.....4 at the most.  

 
 
 
Ronin2
Professor Quiet
4.1  Ronin2  replied to  MrFrost @4    3 weeks ago

The left wing is an embarrassment. Two years of running this country into a ditch; and all they offer is more of the same. More spending, taxing (which won't come close to covering the new spending), and more money heading to BS special interest groups and projects.

Their answers to the problems they created is to do the same things that put us here. Inflation- spend fucking more. Recession- tax it into a full one (just in case the increased inflation from spending doesn't do it). Crisis at the border- make it even easier to get into the country. Fuel shortages- don't ease restrictions on US companies; instead try to bribe third world POS dictators whose people are fleeing to the US into increasing theirs. They need every last dollar they can get to maintain their iron fisted control; and Brandon needs the continued influx of illegals. Crime- increase no bail laws, get those criminals back out on the street as fast as possible! 

Now it's going to be two years of doing nothing but serving their own self interests, witch hunt's, and throwing their own shit at each other. 

Where the fuck have you been for the last 6 damn years? Democrats did nothing but serve their own self interests. Republicans will have to work damn hard to equal the number of massive investigations and impeachments the Democrats conducted- not sure they are up to the task. I will give you the shit throwing. Democrats only throw shit at Republicans. They never, ever, go after their own. No matter how many rules and laws they break. Republicans will throw shit at their own over nothing.

MCarthy sold the farm to be speaker, I doubt he will be speaker for more than 2 Scaramucci's.....4 at the most.  

Please bet everything you own on this prediction. I am sure Vegas would even be willing to give you odds. McCarthy never promised he wouldn't run for speaker if ousted. Just that he would "vacate". Think those two hundred and some on Establishment Republicans won't just nominate him for as many times as it will take to put him back?

 
 
 
arkpdx
Professor Participates
4.1.1  arkpdx  replied to  Ronin2 @4.1    3 weeks ago

jrSmiley_13_smiley_image.gifjrSmiley_15_smiley_image.gifjrSmiley_12_smiley_image.gifjrSmiley_28_smiley_image.gifjrSmiley_36_smiley_image.gifjrSmiley_81_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
JBB
Professor Principal
4.1.2  JBB  replied to  Ronin2 @4.1    3 weeks ago

Did you forget? Things sucked two years ago! Yet the USA is now at full employment, inflation is tamed, business profits are booming and wages going up. Our economy grew in both Q3 and Q4 of 2022. I know that is not what Pravda says because Putin's War in Ukraine has Russia in decline.

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Sophomore Principal
4.1.3  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  JBB @4.1.2    3 weeks ago
the USA is now at full employment

Which is easier given the low labor participation rate.

inflation is tamed,

Nov 2020 the rate was 1.20 in Nov 2022 it was 7.11

business profits are booming

Are you bragging about what Lizzie Warren called "unconscionably excessive price increases."

and wages going up

Wages are rising, but not enough to  keep up with inflation. Wage growth has been consistent with an inflation rate of about 4.5%. November 2022, inflation was at 7.1%.

Putin's War in Ukraine has Russia in decline

It has Ukraine, in much greater decline.

 
 
 
JBB
Professor Principal
4.1.4  JBB  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @4.1.3    3 weeks ago

original

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Sophomore Principal
4.1.5  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  JBB @4.1.4    3 weeks ago

Your typical, informed, well thought out rebuttal.  

 
 
 
Jasper2529
Professor Participates
4.1.6  Jasper2529  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @4.1.3    3 weeks ago

Facts again! 

 
 
 
arkpdx
Professor Participates
4.2  arkpdx  replied to  MrFrost @4    3 weeks ago
Now it's going to be two years of doing nothing but serving their own self interests, witch hunt's, 

That is what's been going with the Democrats for years. At least it shows that not all Republicans can and will think for themselves and not a  bunch of sheep or lemmings like the d mocrats who always do as they are told. 

 
 
 
Thrawn 31
Professor Guide
4.2.1  Thrawn 31  replied to  arkpdx @4.2    3 weeks ago

And that is going to lead to absolutely nothing happening. At a certain point people need to put their own ambitions and ideas aside in order to move things forward and make things happen. If it took this much bullshit for the GOP led house to do the easiest thing for the house majority to do then how in the fuck can anyone expect them to do something significantly harder like pass legislation. 

Bitching all the time from the sidelines is easy, actually playing the game is much more difficult.

 
 
 
Thrawn 31
Professor Guide
5  Thrawn 31    3 weeks ago

I honestly think could be the most useless house in history. There really is the potential that they see maybe only one piece or zero pieces of legislation actually become law over the next 2 years.

Ol Kevin was weak to begin with and he has basically given away every ounce of authority the speaker position has, the GOP holds a razor thin majority to begin with and has a sizable faction that is only there to sabotage the business of governing, and you know the extremists are going to intentionally load up every bill with shit they know for a fact will not make it through the Senate for the sole purpose of sabotaging them.

We are going to see revenge politics at its worst while the actual issues facing the country, hell even the most basic government functions, go completely unaddressed.

 
 
 
Ronin2
Professor Quiet
5.2  Ronin2  replied to  Thrawn 31 @5    3 weeks ago
We are going to see revenge politics at its worst while the actual issues facing the country, hell even the most basic government functions, go completely unaddressed.

So business as fucking usual? What else would you call the last 6 plus years of Democrats ruling the House?

Except that Democrats won't have the House to push their nation breaking bills into existence; or to investigate everything Trump endlessly. I count that as a win. We have all seen what the Democrats have done for the last two years. Nothing is going to change with them. They created this mess; and their only solution is to keep on digging us in deeper. If the Republicans accomplish nothing else except stopping the destructive Democrats it will be a win.

 
 

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