Mickey Johnson GIVES it up!
Category: News & Politics
By: eat-the-press-do-not-read-it • 9 months ago • 5 comments"Conversion Therapy DOES NOT ALWAYS WORK!" - DE Santos
BREAKING NEWS
Direct from "Broke My Back Mountain"
In a shocking lack of decorum, Speaker of the Louse, Mickey Johnson, lashed out at his fellow girlfriends, screaming, "I am NOT GAY! I just look that way"!
He, quickly followed up with this explanation, which no one believed:
"My wife cure me in just one, $14000 session, in her office, next to mine, where she has a CONVERSION BUSINESS that is making her rich, and Mikey broke.
"It works, and I have never, ever wanted to go down on another man again."
Not one person in attendance believed a Fugazi word. It is rumored that everyone in that august Chamber had been solicited by Mickey several time. Despite his charm, most refused Mickey offer, due his excessively drooling, and his tiny hand that were described as "Ice Cold" to the touch.
Speaker Johnson screamed at the top of his lungs:
"I AM NO LONGER GAY", in what may be his last address to the Congress.
(Johnson did, however, hand out his "personalized invitation" to his new DC penthouse, that is said to be big enough for large parties, according to our "sauce", Marjorie Taylor Green, who plans to come out of the closet next week.
Steve ("I Hate Gays") Bunion.
"Broke My Back Mountain News" is a spinoff of FOX TV NUTWORK NEWS, and can only be heard by prepaid contribution, by people like you, in teleported Hallucinations!
(Try it...you might lick it...er...LIKE it!)
Sometime the "TOOTH" slips out!
The return of the Tooth Fairy!
(Oh wait-- he only "used to be" a fairy . . .)
"I AM NO LONGER GAY"
So-- he's finally admitted that he used to be Gay!
He was for it before being against it.
"I AM NO LONGER GAY"
So-- he's finally admitted that he used to be Gay!
But aside from all that Brouhaha (Haha!)-- what's really important is-- what does he identify as?
What are his pronouns?