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Mental Health Experts Confirm Sunny Day At The Ballpark 1000 Times More Effective Than Antidepressants

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  gregtx  •  one month ago  •  7 comments

Mental Health Experts Confirm Sunny Day At The Ballpark 1000 Times More Effective Than Antidepressants
U.S. — Following extensive research, mental health experts have confirmed that a sunny day at the ballpark is 1000 times more effective than taking antidepressants.

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T


U.S. — Following extensive research, mental health experts have confirmed that a sunny day at the ballpark is 1000 times more effective than taking antidepressants.

The investigative study, performed by a team comprised of some of the foremost minds in the mental health field, proved conclusively that a depressed person who attends one baseball game on a breezy, sunny day comes away much happier than they would have been had they ingested a powerful cocktail of prescription antidepressant medication.

"The impact of an afternoon ballgame is staggering," said Dr. Charles Foster of the Sports Psychology Center. "Much to our surprise, sitting in the warm sunshine, feeling a mild breeze, hearing the crack of the bat, and smelling popcorn and beer is far more effective at treating depression than any antidepressant on the market today. No wonder people lived such happier lives back when most baseball games were played during the day."

One fan attending a Tigers-Pirates game in Pittsburgh confirmed the effectiveness. "Oh yeah, I've never felt better," he said. "Earlier today, I hated my life. I was drowning in stress and anxiety. Now? Look at where I am. It doesn't get any better than this. A day at a baseball game is God's antidepressant. A hotdog helps, too."

At publishing time, experts advised that the antidepressant effect doubles if the person attending the game periodically yells out "Heeeeeeeeeeeeey, batterbatterbatterbatterbatterbatter" when an opposing player is at the plate.


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GregTx
PhD Guide
1  seeder  GregTx    one month ago

I'm not sure how this is considered satire...

But I definitely agree. 

 jrSmiley_79_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
1.1  Sparty On  replied to  GregTx @1    one month ago

Exactly what I thought

 
 
 
Sean Treacy
Professor Principal
2  Sean Treacy    one month ago

Its absolutely true. 

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
3  Kavika     one month ago

It is a 1,000 times more effective until you get hit with a foul ball line drive that breaks your nose. Then it's probably best to rethink the 1,000 X's

 
 
 
GregTx
PhD Guide
3.1  seeder  GregTx  replied to  Kavika @3    one month ago

Owwww..

512

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
3.1.1  Kavika   replied to  GregTx @3.1    one month ago

Nothing negative, simply an example of something that happens at the ball park on a fairly regular basis. 

Look at the positive side, the hitter probably signed the ball for you. 

 
 
 
Freefaller
Professor Quiet
4  Freefaller    one month ago

Can't argue with that statement

 
 

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