Clarence Thomas Gently Explains To KBJ That Not All Black People Are Mentally Disabled, Just Her
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson claimed in court today that all black people are mentally disabled, Justice Clarence Thomas gently informed her that it's actually just her.
Not wanting to embarrass Jackson in front of the rest of the court, Justice Thomas waited until a brief recess to explain.
"I don't know how to say this best, Ketanji, but not all black people are mentally disabled. It's just you," said Thomas. "You having an exceptionally low IQ has absolutely nothing to do with your skin color, Ketanji. You're just an idiot. I know this is hard for you to understand... I mean, of course it is, you're mentally handicapped."
Onlookers reported Jackson was stunned by the news, shocked to learn that not all black people are mentally disabled. She sullenly closed the Leapfrog tablet she had been playing Sesame Street puzzles on, before hurling it at the wall in rage. Justice Thomas, however, managed to lift her spirits with a brief game of peek-a-boo.
At publishing time, Justice Thomas had been forced to have the same conversation with Justice Sotomayor about Hispanics.
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Today, KBJ really argued that black people need special congressional districts because being black is like being disabled.
Another argument advanced by the NAACP is that white democrats won't vote for black Democratic candidates. That's also not satire.