NAKED POSTING...now don't go all nutty on me. You can't see me, and I can't see you. But, I've got something I want to say.
As many of you critters of the CORN HOLE DEGENERATION know, I am Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo, "Doctored".
If you don't think I am "doctored," just take a gander at me, Medicine Cabinet.
I take one, two, maybe three hundred pills per day, if I ain't "Doctored", who is HADES is, I arse you?
As you may or may not know, I am also a PASTOR of the "CHURCH OF THE HOW BIG IS YOUR WALLET - HOW SMALL IS YOUR BRAIN?"
I like GREENS, too!
We be located in Mildew, Oh-Ho-Ho's, where there are NO JOBS, not even BLOW JOBS.
You see, Brothers & Sistas of the "Cornhole Degeneration", we used to be a lovely little community going all the way back to when George Washington came to our little paradise riding on a mule.
He was lost, came in huffing and puffing, screaming We need your help! The British are coming, and we ain't!
George explained that he, too, was a "Corn Holer" and played that disreputable Devil's Game, "CORN HOLE," until he became General Washington, because none of the other White Cowards would stand up to the British Army.
And, he did work. His plantation was going to Hell in a Handbag because his slaves were on strike.
Any-ho, General Washington needed our help. He had a nice white wig and said that if we didn't, he would personally knock the stuffing out of us if we declined.
That is how we became "The Corn Hole" corner of the colonies.
Back in the day, we thought tossing a bean bag into a hole in a sheet of wood was the right thing to do fer our children. That is how we ed-u-mud-kkk-ated dem!
I see the sun's a comin' up, and I is NAKED, so I better leave it at dat.
If'n youse would like to read the rest of me dissertations, send "$19 per month to me, % of the BIRD DROPPINGS INSTITUTE - A Think Tank Fer Morons, No Idiots, please.
And, I will send it back to you a thousandfolds!
Sorry, I got to go. I think the POLICE are knocking, knocking on me door again!
Don't forget to send your Monthly Tithes. I got to eat, too.
This is a Public Service Announcement from the really "Weird Left-Wing TRUMP HATERS" to jump-start your day!
Tags
Who is online
123 visitors
I am only asking for $900,000.00 from every one of you, here on EAT THE PRESS-DO NOT READ IT. Is that too much to ask?
Be generous!
I am old and will fart less as I post.
Giving is what JESUS wants you to do, so give every damn thing you have to me 'cause I, like "Dirty Donnie Donnie", am EVIL.
Donnie and I are competitors. Screw Donnie!
Oh, what FREEDOM is, to say the most blasphemous things one can utter, when your utterance is dragging on the hot, erupting ground.
My DEMENTIA is erupting, and at times, I am confused, lost, mystified! Then, for an unknown reason, I awaken and am still alive, almost articulate, enjoying my rants.
Won't you dance with me?