Fox News Sends Trump Quarterly Tithe Of 3 Blond Anchors
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
January 9, 2026
WASHINGTON—Saying the sumptuous gift should slake the administration's thirst for the next few months, Fox News sent President Donald Trump its quarterly tithe of three blond anchors, White House sources confirmed Friday.
"We have traveled south to the White House steps to present you with these three Kayleighs," said Fox Corporation CEO Lachlan Murdoch, who was flanked by a traveling court of lute players and jesters brought along to amuse the president.
"This stock represents the finest tenth of our quarterly newscaster harvest, and we beseech your fealty in return. We humbly apologize that the last batch was not young enough. To atone for this transgression, we have included several prize hogs to curry extra favor."
According to sources, the Trump administration was so pleased with the offering that it granted Fox News one sweaty commentator in exchange.
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Epstein forever!
... wait a minute, they all look over the age of 16. FOX needs to try again ...
Indeed, "devangelical", the appropriate age for TRUMP, is girls 12-13 years of age.
Accoding to the Epstein Files!
DONNIE is an Adjudicated RAPIST, and a POS larger than TRUMP TOWERS! May the "Bird of Paradise" crash into his ugly ORANGE arse face.
Because he likes girls with smaller hands than his???
TRUMP FOR PRISON FOREVER!