Jim Jordan's Thousand Page Manifesto Just Reads 'All Work And No Play Makes Hunter Biden A Dull Boy' - Wonkette
By: Wonkette
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
Today, Republicans on the House Judiciary Committee published their 1,050-page plan for 2023 should their party take back Congress next week. If Americans will just hand Jim Jordan the chairmanship of this committee, they promise to devote themselves body and soul to chasing down every last rightwing fever dream about woke libs at the FBI murdering American patriots and snorting coke with Hunter Biden. Forever and ever, Amen.
Actually, it's 50 pages, plus a 17-page bibliography, and 983 pages of reprinted congressional correspondence, including 94 copies of the same five-page letter sent to all US Attorneys. And, yeah, the margins are generous and it's got links to the Joe Rogan show, the Daily Signal, and Breitbart. Wouldn't want to strain yourself when you're whipping up your closing pitch for the midterms!
The Republican staff report, denominated "FBI Whistleblowers: What Their Disclosures Indicate About the Politicization of the FBI and Justice Department," is a heady mix of 8chan conspiracies and Rudy Giuliani's freestyle ranting about the "Biden crime family." Not to put too fine a point on it, but this is some crazy shit. Republicans have actually convinced themselves — or least convinced themselves that it's good politics to pretend, anyway — that the FBI is hotbed of liberalism.
They inveigh against FBI Director Christopher Wray, appointed in 2017 by one Donald J. Trump, who "began at the FBI in the wake of James Comey's disastrous tenure, when the Bureau's Washington leadership used the power of federal law enforcement to attack President Donald Trump and his campaign."
"Wray had an opportunity to clean up the leadership culture at the FBI, to end the politicization, and to restore trust and integrity in the FBI's mission," they intone ominously. "By any objective measure, Wray has failed."
And it's not just the FBI Director, but the Attorney General, too.
"Under the malevolent leadership of Merrick Garland, however, the FBI and Justice Department has been a willing participant of the Biden Administration's weaponization of law enforcement," these brave politicians complain. Why is the DOJ engaged in "protection of anti-life activists [which] borders on thuggish," while failing to "support state or federal laws protecting the sanctity of life"?
How dare the FBI investigate concerned parents who do nothing more than threaten teachers and school administrators? When they should be investigating ...
... can you guess???
LOL, of course you can!
On October 14, 2020, the New York Post published a report detailing how Hunter Biden used the position and influence of his father, now-President Joe Biden, for personal gain with the apparent awareness of President Biden.1 This article raised doubts about President Biden's earlier denial of ever speaking to his son about his international business dealings.2 The Post reported on an email in which a Ukrainian businessman urged Hunter Biden to "use [his] influence to convey a message / signal, etc. to stop what we consider to be politically motivated actions."3 In another email, the same businessman thanked Hunter Biden for arranging a meeting with his father, calling it "an honor and pleasure."4 The Post reported that these emails came from a laptop belonging to Hunter Biden that he had abandoned in a Delaware computer shop.
Laptop DRINK! And if you're deep enough in the weeds that you remember who Tony Bobulinski is, DRINK MORE! Hunter Biden $3.5 million from wife of Moscow mayor, GO HOME, GOP, YOU ARE DRUNK!
Twitter suppressing links to the New York Post's story five minutes before the election because it contained hacked material in contravention of the site's stated policy? INPEACH!
There's a whole bunch of insane horseshit in there, including a bunch of whoppers about how cooperative poor, saintly Donald Trump was when the National Archives came asking for the return of all those classified documents he was keeping in his pool locker. Why no LOCK HER UPs for Hillary Clinton, HENGHHHHH????
But their main gripe seems to be that the FBI is finally taking domestic violent extremism seriously. Don't they know those people are the GOP's base? How are Republicans supposed to menace politicians if the Democrats insist upon locking up the goon squad?
The report accuses FBI leadership of cooking the stats to make it seem like there's a plague of dangerous extremists across the land. Here's an actual sentence from this piece of garbage report. See if you can spot the slippage!
Instead of hundreds of investigations stemming from a single, black swan incident at the Capitol, FBI and DOJ officials point to significant increases in domestic violent extremism and terrorism around the United States.
Ughhh, it was just that one day that got out of hand. And now they're trying to make this into a whole big thing!
Here's another absolutely real sentence from this insane document:
The FBI appears to have manufactured at least one DVE case: the attempted kidnapping of Governor Gretchen Whitmer.
Those guys were convictedlast week.
One of the primary "whistleblowers" is a guy who got fired from his job at the FBI because he refused to participate in arrests of members of the Three Percenters militia, or indeed any participants in the Capitol Insurrection because, in his opinion, "some of the people who entered the Capitol committed crimes, but others were innocent." He also claims to have been fired in retaliation for blowing the whistle, even though his termination preceded his report.
Imagine putting this thing out when the Democratic House speaker's husband is still in the hospital after a deranged man spouting MAGA conspiracy theories invaded their home and threatened to break her kneecaps with a hammer!
Viewers of previous seasons of Republican Congress: The Circle Jerks, will recognize this playbook from the 2017-2018 season. These ghouls have even picked out the new Peter Strzok and Lisa Page, designating former Washington Field Office's Assistant Special Agent in Charge (ASAC) Timothy Thibault and the FBI's former Assistant Director of the Counterterrorism Division Jill Sanborn as the liberal masterminds of a dastardly plot to "move cases into the DVE category to hit self-created performance metrics."
It's gross. It's coming. Please vote!
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And the apologists think Schiff is a loose cannon. The specter of Jordan potentially heading this committee promises nothing more than three impeachment hearings with no basis.
A debacle.
‘Welcome my friends to the show that never ends.”
Right now I'm watching Jordan Klepper's latest election special. Of course he interviews many MAGA.
This country is screwed.
We were screwed for the two years the left fulfilled every wet dream they ever had!
“This country is screwed.”
History is rife with examples of the Administration in power taking hits in a midterm election. It looks like we may see that again. All it portends is two years of continuing dysfunction and a worn out veto pen. We may not be ‘screwed’, but I’m afraid it may get worse before it gets better. The leadership vacuum is sucking us all down.
Vic, in the seeded article, Jim Jordans report on the FBI, (which I assume the writer at least looked at), is described as being 50 pages with 950 pages of appendixes and "congressional correspondence". You told us yesterday that this "report" had blown the lid off FBI political corruption.
Stop trying to bs people who know better.
John, over two dozen FBI whistleblowers contributed to that report, at the risk of losing their jobs!
We are screwed, although it may or may not be permanent. The problem is not that Republicans might take control of Congress for two years, the problem is that there is no way to stop the floodtide of misinformation people get fed 24/7 , and no one is even trying to stop it on any large scale.
The Bulwark podcast had a guest a couple days ago who was a woman who investigates and writes books about far right extremist beliefs. One of the things she said is that 20% of the population believes that all the high profile mass shootings have been staged by the government.
If what she says is true , and much more like that is true, we cant have a functioning society in the long run.
There are way more than two dozen MAGA in the FBI.
For any normal human being the truth is clear. The leadership of the FBI is a bunch of leftist fascists.
Ridiculous.
The core problem is the number of people who simply believe what they are told.
I think that number has dwindled considerably over the past few years:
The fact that there is even a significant minority who believe the Big Lie illustrates that our nation is replete with people who will —at least politically— believe what they are told by their 'trusted' authorities in spite of direct, overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
We've been over that ad nauseum. Many have questioned elections. Only once did it get classified as "disinformation."
It was the Washington Post that did most of the disinforming over the past 6 years.
Or they could do what Clinton did. Move more to the center and work for bipartisan support. Thus helping to generate one of the most successful economic periods in US history.
Pushed by historic losses in the Senate and House in 1994, (sound familiar?) he was forced to work with Congress to pass among other things, a Balanced Budget Act. And to his credit he did. The surpluses generated via that partisan cooperation led to such things as extending the solvency of Social Security and Medicare. The latter of which was due to become insolvent just 5 years later in 1999.
Biden could do that as well but he won’t. He’ll keep bumbling his way through his failed Presidency. Too bad too. Obama tried to warn you dimbulbs who voted for him.
He tried to warn you and now we have a Biden generated clusterfuck of an economy.
The facts remain. My point remains:
True but that bubble burst in 2001.
If I look at the current makeup of congress, I really don't see anything being done on a bipartisan level.
I honestly don't see anything being done at all except more investigations.
Major news media tends to focus on the partisan argument but as you can see the majority of the business in Congress was passed with a bi-partisan approach.
I like when I see bills that have been worked on by two or more from different parties.
I am just a little Leary when what we now describe as bipartisan is one person from the other side of the isle joining a vote.
This 1000 page report from Jim Jordan, apparently filled with 95% bs, is a preview of what the next two years will be like if the Republicans take power in the House.
With how low Democrats have put the standards for investigations and impeachments; this is far more work than was ever done by Pelosi and her troglodytes.
But I must let the show go
I must let the show go
I must let the show go on...