When Jane Goodall Destroyed Elon Musk - by Andy Borowitz
By: Andy Borowitz
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
Andy Borowitz Jul 16, 20266739977Share
When the world's most admired woman was attacked by the world's least interesting man, it was no contest.
Like the millions of other people whose lives she touched, I miss Jane Goodall.
I had the honor of chatting with Dr. Goodall in the last year of her remarkable life. She told me a story I'd never heard before: about the time Elon Musk tried to pick a fight with her online, and failed miserably.
"He's the only person who's criticized me on social media," she said. "Attacked me, almost. He accused me of wanting genocide. Simply because I said, you know, we can't have unlimited economic development if we carry on as we are, and the human population continues to grow."
So Jane had a few words with Musk's No. 2: "I said, 'Why is your boss attacking me?" And he said, 'Well, Elon's going to find this planet or make a planet habitable for humans. And he's afraid if the human population on planet Earth drops, then there won't be enough people for him to populate his new planet.'"
"Out there, political leaders, not only in America, other countries, too," Jane said, "they are setting out, not deliberately to destroy the environment, but because they're carrying on as usual, they are taking more from nature than she can replenish. And I'm not going to give in to them. I mean, I won't. So the more damage they do, the harder I'll fight. And I've got literally hundreds of thousands of young people now, all feeling the same."
Watch my interview with Jane Goodall here.
Get every weekday post of The Borowitz Report with a free subscription, or enjoy all the premium content and benefits of paid membership for only $6.
Subscribe
Leave a comment
Share
6739977Share
Trolling, taunting, spamming, and off topic comments may be removed at the discretion of group mods. NT members that are known plagiarists, repeat comments, or continue to disrupt/deflect the conversation risk having all of their comments deleted. Please remember to quote the person(s) to whom you are replying to preserve continuity of this seed. Any use of the phrase "Trump Derangement Syndrome" or the TDS acronym in a comment will be deleted. Any use of the term "Brandon", "Traitor Joe", or any variations thereof, when referring to President Biden, will be deleted. Right wing trolls can expect to have their irrelevant questions and comments deleted. Posting debunked lies will be subject to deletion. Use of the terms "leftist" or "lefty" will also be subject to deletion. ©
Tags
Who is online
157 visitors
With the way he's populating the earth he'll have enough Adams and Eves for his new planet. Who cares about inbreeding? The royal houses of Europe sure didn't
... oh great, intergalactic goobers.
you'd think that jane would've gotten along better with elon, since he resembles a chimp in a lot of ways ...
But he's not as smart as one. That's probably why they didn't get along
a few more ketamine episodes and he'll probably need to spend the rest of his life jerking off in a cage ...
We should make sure Musk gets to Mars as soon as possible, and doesn't come back.
he knows better than to get into one of his exploding rockets ...
But...but...he wants to populate another planet! How does he think he's going to get there? The Enterprise transporter?!?!?
I thought he was already attempting to repopulate this planet with afrikaners. I've got an old neo-nazi teleporting truck he can use. all he has to do is run a vacuum cleaner hose from the exhaust pipe thru a cab window and start it up ...