2024 DARWIN AWARDS
2024 DARWIN AWARDS
You've been waiting for them with baited breath, crazy…
Eighth Place
In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head-first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.
Seventh Place
A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran", accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily run.
Sixth Place
While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8-foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom, when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
Fifth Place
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop, he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
Fourth Place
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
Third Place
After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol.
The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.
HONORABLE MENTION
Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M. So, they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently, they failed to notice that the window was closed.
RUNNER UP
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more exciting, and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge, they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.
AND THE WINNER IS...
Zookeeper Friedrich Reinfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded.
The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Reinfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves 'shit happens!’
IT ALWAYS SEEMS IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR REMOVING THEMSELVES FROM THE GENE POOL.
The administrator of this group reserves the right, along with the site moderators, to moderate all and any postings to this group, including the right to enforce the ToS, the CoC, and also including anything that the administrator deems within his sole discretion to be offensive, including but not limited to political and/or 'off topic' or 'no value' comments, with the power to delete in exercising that right.
It would be best, therefore, to be civil in posting comments on this group.
By now it should be well known that I am unable to open certain sources, videos and pictures. If I cannot, I will ask that they be described and explained. If the poster refuses to comply, their comment will be deleted. Instagrams are banned.
Tags
Who is online
292 visitors
I'm not so sure that The Runner Up was the best choice, but the winner absolutely takes the cake - I'm still laughing. However, they all deserve the award.
nice find Buzz
Thanks, but by now you've read my comment number 2.
By the way, the reason this was not posted as a seed is because my brother emailed it to me, and there were no references as to a source.
LMAO, some real classics in that group.
And they're just the ones that the Darwin committee are posting. Can you imagine how many there really are?
It saddens me that people are still this dumb and at the same time amazes me that more people haven't followed them.
it saddens me that I find many (DELETED) to be dumber than most on this list, and that is actually a bit alarming, but ok though, i forgot to set it
(DELETION BY ADMINISTRATOR - RED BOX RULES)
And poor Buzz can't have a lighthearted seed without someone polluting it with politics, Well done!
I didn't want what I had deleted to be repeated visibly - there is no penalty if it's a context deletion.
All good my friend, yours and A Macs seeds are a nice distraction from the craziness.
Buzz is not poor, and I believe he realizes i did not disrupt his 'haven' purposely. I just stated my opinion in the wrong place, sorta like when i get flagged from churches when i bring bottles of VODKA, but what can I say, that wine doesn't wash those dry crackers down the esophagus so swell
I had to delete it but I'm sure it didn't earn you any points.
of course no worries Buzz, my bad and I owned it
Lol some real winners on that list
I'll say.
Well done Buzz, this is one of my favorite honorable mentions in the Darwin Awards.
Seems they weren't as bright as the headlights. Billy Ray is the name Eddie Murphy had in the movie "Trading Places".
Something stinks about this story, which made its way to Team Snopes in summer of 1998:
This entertaining "news item" appeared in the Weekly World News , a publication not known for adherence to strict journalistic standards. Fantastic stories invented cut of whole cloth regularly appear in its pages, and this pachyderm tale is but another of that ilk.
Was a Zookeeper Killed When an Elephant Defecated on Him? | Snopes.com
You are now fact checking a humor post?
I thought was supposed to be real. Thanks for clearing that up.
Maybe I spoiled something he posted.
Let's just put the Darwin Awards down as amusing entertainment and a diversion from the usual everyday political not so amusing entertainment.
hear here
Always appreciated