Pressed Into Service
When Were You Ever Pressed Into Service?
How Did It Make You Feel?
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As a teen male, I was first pressed into service in an unappreciated role of "gay" high-schooler. Of course, in those years, it was nowhere a positive look. My life was a lonely, terribly unspectacular tale of beatings, spittings, and being trespassed against. Just kidding! Yes, really. I was a very popular kid in high school - even after that one incident of shame where my single worst indiscretion made campus 'news.' I could not believe a friend had shared the story in my neighborhood! Even more unbelievable and unexpected was when it was shared with the entire school! HORRIBLE! No worries, I always manage to come out ahead in any destructive situation with good press. That kid made me the cat's meow!! As a young adult, I was pressed into service, but I was not allowed to suit up. It occurred to me to that I should not wallow in pity, so I did what what I had to do. I set my face before a military recruiter and I told the easiest lie I have ever told: Had I ever felt same-sex attraction? Or had a same-sex interaction? [I won't be answering those questions at this time, folks.] How in the world was I going to breach the door of government service, if I told of all the times and abuses I had surrendered myself to and been forced by others to partake? I mean, who knows ahead of time the 'steps' involved to save oneself for the purity of government service? All those other young enlistees had been lying about some "Slim Jim" or "Betty Boop" in their lives ! Why single me out? So, I pressed my way into military service as any all-around boot-camp nominee and soon to be base favorite would, for two terms of service. To this very day, I can say with utter pride, service people, officers and enlisted alike, who hold control over the lives of thousands of members are some of the most well-balanced and fair people in our country. A finer brand of brothers I have yet to discover. [I once wrote an American President asking why some service-members were reasoned liable to blackmail, when with a stroke of the presidential pen all can serve evenly. I never got a reply. But, I was bold enough to ask!] Again, I was pressed into the service of a lifetime. This spiritual odyssey of faith in God. After not so very long and the equivalent of long enough, a person can hear a "Call" being placed on his or her life. It is like a distinct impression continually lightly pressing until it is brought out into open reality. Honestly, maybe it can go unanswered. For me, I could find no way how to escape such a caressing entreaty . Many people in churches today can recall the day in which they were entreated. It carries a special 'tag' of remembrance in an individual's life. It is the day an individual turns away from life as they have known it and begin cutting a new path. Long before the first black President was to appear on the national scene, many same-sex relationships were essentially dead-ends. The position had no value in Society-at-Large. These men and women were powerless, at least socially and politically. Throughout the history of our nation, I can not imagine the number of men and women who were never honored for the "services" which they provided through the free use of their bodies and minds behind stalls, bushes, hotel rooms, any assortment of cars, and enclosures. All of it kept well out of the sight of cultured America. Those unknown individuals were cheated out of a proper status and position in life. But, God. Leave it up to God to give hope to to the lost, and the hopeless . God would not abandon the old man or woman to one-night stands, dives, and dens of foolishness writhing with dangerous pitfalls. God can give sanctuary to the aging man or woman left to fend for him or herself in a world where young men display aggression and prey on societal outcasts. God. It turns out manages a home for outcasts. All sorts of diverse people land on the Spirit's doorstep. A host of comers arrive daily at the Spirit's sanctuary readied for travelers seeking a life-long rest from troubles. This blog can be a harbor for some who are tired and weary. One last note: A big thank you to all those high-schoolers who never attempted to make me feel different, simply because I was different. A big thank you to those service-members who were not like me, and never let it make a damn bit of difference. A great big thank you to the church that surrounded me when I came in out of the street and you began wrapping loving and true arms around me until I decided to retire to my own "steady state" in life. Special thanks to "Pastor C," for not letting any differences matter. Finally, thank you Lord, for being perfect enough to fix and contain all mankind's differences until a time when differences fade out of existence. — End.
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How Were You Pressed Into Service? Care To Tell?
This is my opening 'salvo' on my new blog. On it I will be sharing stories of life, service, and of course, faith. Join me if you have some free time. I will love to hear your most interesting life stories. Some of you are real 'blasts' I can just tell!
Well written Calbab. All teenagers face problems 'fitting in' with their peers. Usually these are minor differences dealing with the cliques that form.
What you faced was far more intense than clique bigotry. You seem to have managed to deal with it well socially which is remarkable in itself given this no doubt was decades ago when the culture was not nearly as accepting.
Yes, I am a super well-adjusted individual, TiG! I do try not to sweat people, and this life so far has afforded me such opportunities to expect the worse and be pleasantly surprised. I truly adore good people.
TiG! Care To Tell?
Dear Brother, Friend and Treasured Writing Partner Calbab: "Who among us can be sure of our character if it is not tested in the crucible of real world strife"? (Rabbi Oscar Klein).
Congrats. You get an A+.
Enoch.
You're swell, too! I just know it! Share a new "moment" in your life with us, Enoch! Care To Tell?
Dear Friend Calbab: When in service to our country I was with those who did not make it out of combat, or out of hospitals or back home alive.
I was there for them when I could be.
It turns out that I was able to bring them peace.
To work with them to culminate, not end their lives.
To transition from this life to the next level of existence with the grace, style and dignity they lived by, or wanted to live by and never got a fair chance to so do.
It was clear to me since childhood I wanted ultimately to be a Rabbi.
The part of being a Chaplain who specialized in end of life Pastoral care came about while in the field in combat, and surrounding areas.
I learned I was able to do this week.
I did not not because it was, is or will be easy.
Rather because it is necessary.
No one should leave this life unfulfilled, when with proper Pastor care they could transit well.
It did not, does not and never will matter to me what people do or do not believe.
Neither does it matter to me how their views square or are incompatible with mine.
In my, and our view we are all children of the same G-d.
All members of the same human family.
None more or less than any other.
As you, others and I opine, we best serve the Holy One, Blessed Be by being of service to any and all who want it on terms most meaningful to them.
In our view, life isn't about being winners by making others losers.
Rather it is about using the good gifts given us for the betterment of humankind, one person at a time.
Good question.
Equally good article.
Bravo, my brother.
Enoch.
Such special sharing and I mean that.
Of all the ministries I have listened to in the past twenty plus years live, on television, and over the Web, the most forceful leader I can truly say has made the greatest impact on my spiritual philosophy is Bob George Ministries. When I first heard Mr. George on my car radio, I was scandalized by his message to the citizens of God! I listened more over time, nevertheless. For, there was a correlation with this ministry's radio hour and the time I spent driving home. Thus, I opened my ears to hear Mr. George, and what I came to realize about his message profoundly set well with me.
Bob George teaches a principle of resting by faith in God (Hebrews 3:18-19). Once saved, always saved. No need to 'twitch,' wring one hands, or let one's conscience be a place of torment. Spirit is big enough and able to save any individual to the uttermost! As a result, I have learned to rest and trust in my faith, allowing God to take care of of kingdom business.
Brother Enoch, I seek in my own way to radiate" the love of God. My example put forth in words: RADIATE THE LOVE I HAVE INSIDE.
As a result of Bob George's teaching ministries, I learned quite a long while ago how to let others live as they see fit, discover God in their own (appointed) time - as I did - if possible, and simply share all that I am.
Shalom.
Shalom U'Vracha (Peace and Blessings).
E.
About 25 years ago, my girlfriend and I moved in with her father. He begged us to move in because I was the only 'daughter in law', he liked me. He was ill from heart disease. he needed our help, so we moved into his basement and had a den upstairs that we called our own. His home was on the south side of Chicago and though I am not 'white', I was the lightest thing in sight. The rest of the family wasn't all that happy about us moving in and taking over.
The younger brother was married with three kids, a 7 year old and a set of g/b twins. They'd bring the kids over, dirty and hungry. Mom and dad hung over from the night before. Now we were no angles either but it broke my heart.
Well the first Christmas we had a get together for the close family, her two brothers families and her two cousin's and their families. We cooked a nice meal and Pops was doing well and in a great mood. Here comes the younger brother and sister in law and the kids. AGAIN, dirty and hungry. They said they brought the kids over to be with Grampa and they would be back in a couple of hours.
After going into the den and drinking a shot of whiskey so I didn't go after them and beat them within an inch of their lives, I went under the tree, got the outfits we had bought the kids for Christmas, and proceeded to bath all three of them and dress them up.
You see, both sets of cousins doted on their kids. I knew they'd be dressed in their 'Sunday best' when they came over. I did NOT want my babes to be dressed in their Pjs while the rest of the kids were quaffed. When the cousins came over my beautiful babes were playing Mario on 'Auntie's' den. All the kids congregated in Auntie's den.
When the younger brother and sister in law finally showed up high [coke], she had a fit because I bathed the twin with psoriasis. She insisted that bathing was BAD for his skin. I was pressed to service that day. I did NOT kill her...
Dulay, I do understand. If only she had left some 'instruction' on the situation before or behind with you. Myself, I just hate doing something for the right reason only to learn in hind-sight there is at least a passable excuse for what appears to be madness! I hate when I don't have enough information to make informed decisions. You too, huh? Thank you for sharing.
The irony is that she was too stoned to remember that I had been the one who had recognized his skin problem in the first freaking place. AFTER he was clean, I put his prescription ointment on, just as I had done dozens of times.
A year after this happened the whole family almost did an intervention to take the kids away.
There IS a good ending to the story though. After a couple of 'dark' years, the parents got it together and got clean. The sister in law went back to school and became a councilor, the twins got full scholarship to Brown University and the 7 year old is now an actual rocket scientist with the military. I haven't seen the kids for decades but they found me on facebook and friended me. They all touch base with 'Auntie' a couple of times a year now. It makes me proud that I have at least a small bit to do in bringing up such great adults.
So you never know how it's going to turn out...
You must be proud as punch inside. I am absolutely beaming inside after reading this, for I know that unique sensation which is beyond words of having made an appreciable impact on the life of young people. I just marvel when somebody stops by and reminds me of a "moment" where I made a difference to them. Even though I may have been blind to it at the time. Its the small quiet times of taking action which can have a big impact. What a thrill!
2010 was the start of my "Pressed into Service" !
An Adult Relation of mine is now my child.
Still waiting for siblings to chip in....although that would be "Wishful thinking"....but a good thought nonetheless !
"A good thought nonetheless!" Care to tell? Only if you can and want. Be discrete.
Well....
let's put it this way.....
Sometimes....those that raise you.... can ..... need over and above, what they gave you through life.
just something that NEEDS to be done for family. Help from Siblings would be appreciated. Not holding my breath though.
Aah! A work indeed! I have seen much of this implied activity all around me recently. It is a labor of love you have before you. In my own situation, I make twice monthly visits, bringing lunches, and hair cuts for many years now. "When I was sick, you visited me." May you find support for your service when you need it.
It's a major work still in progress.
It is getting to the point where the physical needs are getting to be more than we can provide.....Sadly !
Sometimes...and only in thought....
I wish I could be the outsider sibling at times. Lot's of advise is all that is needed.
I hear you. It's hard. Perhaps, Brother Enoch can share supportive words when he reads this. . . .
Enoch's great.
Not sure words are a help anymore. I just do the job I was given. 12 years to date.
My life is still great, but "trying" at times though.
It's all part of the overall scheme of things.
Thank you for your uplifting attitude as you travel along this trek through life. I am not on the 'front' with any family member just yet, but it can change at any time. I hear real world discussions about it all the time around and near me. Should my time to serve in the primary position come, I hope I can do the job I am given. (Smile.)
Life is really long !
Best to make the BEST of it while you can ( Some Bitching Allowed).
Always have this LOOK
when someone says their life sucked, but then always wants to stay when death comes near.
Life is Made.....Not given.
Good philosophy! Death is the ultimate equalizer! Because it will separate flesh from spirit! And, it is so. . . final.
Being able to air a bit of laundry at times helps, and Inspiration from others helps too ....for me anyway !
Thanks for the conversation calbab. Peace to you.
Of course! Continue in your manner. You are welcome here in our 'harbor' anytime.
Thanks !
Only Politics can make me an outsider at times.
I know. I know. I know. [Psst. Me too!]
Dear Friend It Is Me: I am always here for you and yours.
My site private notes and personal email always has room for you.
24/7.
E.
You know, when I prepared this blog, I considered what my approach would be and settled on the three aspects: High School, Military Enlistment, and Coming to Faith Awareness. In each segment of my life, there are attitudes and situations where the conversation could be broken open wider, deeper, and farther. On the outs, there can even be a possibility that many of you would crack open about your own attitudes and situations—several of you have and I feel really, really, good about it! Access is available for much more sharing, friends.
I think I shall view this blog as something of an open door to a soul, the nation, and depending on who writes in- the world. A place where I will expose some of my 'wares,' while meeting and greeting others who occasion to drop by. Like most 'storefronts' success is relative and only the merchant will know for sure what matters to keeping the lights on in the establishment.