40 Signs You’re Almost 40
'Cause it will only be worse when you are 50!
2. And your favorite TV shows play on Nick at Nite.
NBC
4. The only new celebrities you recognize are the offspring of the ones you grew up loving.
Charles Sykes/Invision / AP
Did you hear Don Johnson and Melanie Griffiths daughter was cast in Fifty Shades of Grey ?
6. But you havent bought a CD by a new artist in years.
Universal
10. You used to print your school papers on this.
Careful! Dont rip the sidescareful Goddamn it!
13. But you kind of look forward to them because theyre when you see your friends the most.
14. The hair on your eyebrows, ears, and nose has started to grow in really weird ways.
Universal Pictures
17. You increasingly enjoy playing the game of Remember when?
Remember the Apple IIe? Remember getting your own phone line in your room? Remember Garbage Pail Kids?
18. You really dont understand how to watch MTV anymore.
Dreamworks
Wait when did they get rid of Kennedy?
19. The last time you went to the ER, this is what the resident who treated you looked like:
ABC
20. Spotify has started targeting you with Viagra ads because you only listen to music from the early 90s.
21. At one point youve looked in the mirror and given yourself a pep talk by saying, Youve still got it.
BBC
22. Youve developed an appreciation for Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald, and classical music.
Fly me to the moon
24. And the kids starting college next year werent even born when you graduated.
26. Youve started to schedule your Friday nights around watching Dateline NBC .
NBC
You might even do a mean Keith Morrison impression.
27. Everything you think happened five years ago actually happened 10 to 15 years ago.
Hollywood Pictures
Hold up. There is no way The Sixth Sense came out 15 years ago.
Neilson Barnard / Getty Images for TIME
Whoa.
29. And you cant bring yourself to throw this out.
Paramount Pictures
30. You use outdated terms like Did you tape the show? and Rewind that song!
Geico
32. Mammograms and prostate exams are now a way of life.
Disney/Pixar
It gets easier, Sully. I promise.
33. Waitresses card you to get a good tip, and not because they think youre under 21.
Apatow/Columbia Pictures
34. All the actors and actresses you used to think were hot now play grandparents.
Lionsgate
Hot grandparents, but still. Grandparents.
35. You no longer dye your hair to try out a new hair color but to hide gray.
37. When your friends trade stories from college, you find yourself saying, Wait. What happened?
Newmarket Films
38. Sitting has become preferable to basically any other activity in life.
Fox
39. But despite everything, theres no amount of money they could pay you to be a confused twentysomething again.
HBO
40. And as you stare down the big 4-0, you finally feel as if youve got things figured out in life.
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No JOKE! These are a hoot!!!
I thought this was going to be like what they used to say about Jack Benny :
" He's having his 39th birthday today and he's already given the world more than a half century of entertainment ..."
Just wait!
You're walking down to the basement to get something, and by the time you're there, you've forgotten what you went down there for.
Or you're going out to the car to go to the store, get in the car, can't find your car keys. Go back in, look for 20 minutes, find them and then ????? why'd I need these?
Your ass doesn't fit into your jeans any longer.