I don't hear you making any suggestions for improvement . I will tell you in all sincerity that it is hard to be full of rage when you are stark naked in public . It has a humbling effect ... my opinion .
Frankly I have seen a series of this type of article . When one comes out everyone is supposed to make clucking noises about the horror . I have offered a real suggestion about how things could be improved . Here's another : for women who might be so threatened , carry an equalizer . Size and strength offer no protection ...
Ya know ... I have spent my entire life being discriminated against because I came from a family with no sisters and a mother who was old enough to be my grandmother . I has no one to teach me the "rules" of how to act around women . This unilateral discrimination based on my ignorance is without question discrimination .
I refuse to be held responsible for the actions of others of my gender . I will also not defend women against such actions . I tried that once . I won't do it again . One more thing : the guy in that video is f'in weird ...
Psychologists generally agree that rape is not about sex, but is a mental disorder that involves control issues, sometimes past harm, that is often generational.
I have daughters, and I know the hard truth behind those numbers. I am sorry that you had no training growing up, but that doesn't mean that there is no merit in what this young man says.
The stats speak for themselves. On college campuses there 1 in 3 young woman will be sexually assaulted, and those are the ones who report. Most don't since they are afraid.
I said earlier on today, that people define life by their own personal experiences. I know that you are bringing yours to this discussion. I am bringing mine.
Ya know ... I have spent my entire life being discriminated against because I came from a family with no sisters and a mother who was old enough to be my grandmother . I has no one to teach me the "rules" of how to act around women . This unilateral discrimination based on my ignorance is without question discrimination .
Thank you for sharing that, Petey. Personally, I have a brother and a mother that had us relatively young --- and I had no 'training' per se in how to act around boys/men. In thinking about this, I wonder if how to act around the opposite gender (not talking about manners) is something that is actually taught. I think it's learned some through just generally living our lives - activities, orgs, school, clubs, friends & trial and error.
I have to admit I was thinking a bit of what you suggest here:
I refuse to be held responsible for the actions of others of my gender .
I don't think anyone should feel responsible that isn't involved in such acts, and of course, it's not necessarily about sex. On the other hand, when it is, there's a lot that can be said about 'both' that are involved.
I thought the speaker was not the best either, but with the way he pronounced certain words, I could tell English was not his first language.
No offense ambivalent, but I'm afraid this video is more appealing to women than men in my opinion. I think it is of good intention, but I am not aware of any men that I would be talking to that could relate to talking to each other about rape other than kill the SOB that was doing the raping.
I just see rape is not an acceptable action by anyone and the only thing I would say is......well..... I guess I could see how a young girl could be afraid to speak up if she feared the person would do her more harm than just the rape, so I can see your point.
I think teaching children at a young age not only by speaking to them but by our own actions is the best lesson.
But how can we reach the rapist? Generally the rapist isn't going to tell us he is raping. Kind of like child molesters. What are you going to do about them other than take them out of society?
If a person kicks my dog, he would probably think real hard before he ever did it again, but if he rapes my sister, he wouldn't get a second chance if I could get my hands on him.
I would encourage anyone who has been raped to let it be known and gather a fortress around them to protect them from the pig. And in addition to that a little trip to the bottomless pit wouldn't hurt as punishment. Well nobody knows if it is bottomless, but no one has ever seen the bottom. Unfortunately too many have actually been killed by these monsters, so there has to be ways to protect the girl and let the pig know in so many ways ....... In all honesty, I just can't see doing anything to a rapist but put him down. Excuse this long drawn out comment.
Ambi, wanted to say that I agree that parents should find a way to have a discussion with their boys, at some point, about respecting "no." And, with girls... about not putting themselves in the positions that lead up to saying 'no.' Thanks for video.
Without getting to explicit, the system works against girls. In the colleges, where many of these types of sexual assaults go on, the if a girl reports, she is often turned into a victim again, or ignored. This happens for several reasons. First, no university wants to keep stats like that, so they don't acknowledge it. Also, many times these are star athletes, and they get a pass, it seems.
I don't think that you can change a rapist mind, if that is what they are going to do. But you can change both the environment that breeds this behavior and you can encourage young men who are witnessing these events to intervene. We can demand that our universities take this seriously and stop turning the girl into the victim again.
Maybe because they will be told it was their fault. she shouldn't have worn whatshe wore, or been at that particular place, and the fact that she may be so embarrassed to tell anyone.
Robert G., the man that did this to me had raped two younger than me, one 16 and one 18. They DID report it and nothing happened. After all, he was a member of "The Southern Mafia" and was beyond punishing. I reported it also, nothing happened, he walked. The last one SUPPOSEDLY got him killed by the girls father. Looking back on his record, I was the oldest one he raped @ 24.
If a women does NOT report a rape, 99 times out of 100, she is terrified, because of threats from the rapist, or so ashamed of the act itself that she does not report it. I say shame, because you get this crap about the way she was dressed or how she acted, or she was drunk or she was asking for it. A REAL man would never do anything like that.
As I said in first paragraph, a LOT of men walk away from this, far too many. It also falls on the court system too. When my case reached the court, I had a bailiff tell me that a Black woman that also had a case deserved it and should have been killed. With attitudes like that. the court often sucks at prosecuting these bastards. Before you say anything, I will tell you I know the bailiff doesn't try the cases, but he had an attitude that made me want to knock him on his ass and I told him that too.
The concept that women are not responsibleor partially responsiblewhenthey are raped is beginning to sink in, however there still many holding on to the old school thinking that need to watch that video.
This is a great article for the End Violence Against Women group. If you're not already a member, please join and help us keep messages like this in the forefront.
Btw, last month BF made this observation;
Great message but the messenger is hard to watch. His speech cadence is unbearable.
I agree, I couldn't even finish watching the video.
What you're saying Perrie is it's kind of like helping the students with the test so you can show how great your school is doing? I agree with you totally.
I basically said the same thing but with more extreme measures in mind. Rightfully, there should be much more protection for the girl who has made the report.
Remember the boys at Duke University? You see, you have little problems like that which have to be taken into account. We can hardly even say anything without ruining the lives of some innocent people as well. It has to be a addressed. Not every girl who says he was raped was actually raped as we've found to be the case.
Where is the answer? First, maybe it should be taught the first thing a young lady should do when raped is find a way to the hospital and gather all the evidence possible as soon as possible. Make that a priority. Teach young adults more about how this is definitely unacceptable and build the attitude among the students how important it is to not support anyone who has committed such a crime. Shame them for doing so. Build this attitude in each student, so hopefully more will realize it is more important to do what is right than protect a friend or not say anything.
And punish the university who is found to have rapes occurring on their campuses by some students and are not fully supporting the investigation of such reports.
It will take everyone. The girl has to have the guts to stand for all future girls who may suffer the same thing. There has to be evidence. That's all there is too it. Just saying Joe the athlete raped me doesn't prove anything. No evidence, no charges and if someone is falsely charged by someone then the accuser must also be eligible to suffer consequences as well.
Wonderful video, dear ambi! Yes, it should be required for all to see!!!
"...make the world safer for the women you love -- for all women, children and men..."
Excellent message.
Thanks for this very important video. A message that is so true and makes so much sense.
Great video, I'm going to post elsewhere. Thank you for sharing.
Great message this should be a PSA on TV and played several times a day.
Personally I advocate nudism as a solution . When men get to undress in public their attitude changes ...
Attitude precedes violence ...
I don't hear you making any suggestions for improvement . I will tell you in all sincerity that it is hard to be full of rage when you are stark naked in public . It has a humbling effect ... my opinion .
Frankly I have seen a series of this type of article . When one comes out everyone is supposed to make clucking noises about the horror . I have offered a real suggestion about how things could be improved . Here's another :
for women who might be so threatened , carry an equalizer . Size and strength offer no protection ...
Ya know ... I have spent my entire life being discriminated against because I came from a family with no sisters and a mother who was old enough to be my grandmother . I has no one to teach me the "rules" of how to act around women . This unilateral discrimination based on my ignorance is without question discrimination .
I refuse to be held responsible for the actions of others of my gender . I will also not defend women against such actions . I tried that once . I won't do it again . One more thing : the guy in that video is f'in weird ...
Psychologists generally agree that rape is not about sex, but is a mental disorder that involves control issues, sometimes past harm, that is often generational.
Wow I missed this Ambie. I am going to share it with my daughters. It's such an important message. Bravo!
Petey,
I have daughters, and I know the hard truth behind those numbers. I am sorry that you had no training growing up, but that doesn't mean that there is no merit in what this young man says.
The stats speak for themselves. On college campuses there 1 in 3 young woman will be sexually assaulted, and those are the ones who report. Most don't since they are afraid.
I said earlier on today, that people define life by their own personal experiences. I know that you are bringing yours to this discussion. I am bringing mine.
Thank you for sharing that, Petey. Personally, I have a brother and a mother that had us relatively young --- and I had no 'training' per se in how to act around boys/men. In thinking about this, I wonder if how to act around the opposite gender (not talking about manners) is something that is actually taught. I think it's learned some through just generally living our lives - activities, orgs, school, clubs, friends & trial and error.
I have to admit I was thinking a bit of what you suggest here:
I don't think anyone should feel responsible that isn't involved in such acts, and of course, it's not necessarily about sex. On the other hand, when it is, there's a lot that can be said about 'both' that are involved.
I thought the speaker was not the best either, but with the way he pronounced certain words, I could tell English was not his first language.
No offense ambivalent, but I'm afraid this video is more appealing to women than men in my opinion. I think it is of good intention, but I am not aware of any men that I would be talking to that could relate to talking to each other about rape other than kill the SOB that was doing the raping.
I just see rape is not an acceptable action by anyone and the only thing I would say is......well..... I guess I could see how a young girl could be afraid to speak up if she feared the person would do her more harm than just the rape, so I can see your point.
I think teaching children at a young age not only by speaking to them but by our own actions is the best lesson.
But how can we reach the rapist? Generally the rapist isn't going to tell us he is raping. Kind of like child molesters. What are you going to do about them other than take them out of society?
If a person kicks my dog, he would probably think real hard before he ever did it again, but if he rapes my sister, he wouldn't get a second chance if I could get my hands on him.
I would encourage anyone who has been raped to let it be known and gather a fortress around them to protect them from the pig. And in addition to that a little trip to the bottomless pit wouldn't hurt as punishment. Well nobody knows if it is bottomless, but no one has ever seen the bottom. Unfortunately too many have actually been killed by these monsters, so there has to be ways to protect the girl and let the pig know in so many ways ....... In all honesty, I just can't see doing anything to a rapist but put him down. Excuse this long drawn out comment.
Wish I could - can't open it.
Ambi, wanted to say that I agree that parents should find a way to have a discussion with their boys, at some point, about respecting "no." And, with girls... about not putting themselves in the positions that lead up to saying 'no.' Thanks for video.
Thank you amb! AMEN !!
Six,
Without getting to explicit, the system works against girls. In the colleges, where many of these types of sexual assaults go on, the if a girl reports, she is often turned into a victim again, or ignored. This happens for several reasons. First, no university wants to keep stats like that, so they don't acknowledge it. Also, many times these are star athletes, and they get a pass, it seems.
I don't think that you can change a rapist mind, if that is what they are going to do. But you can change both the environment that breeds this behavior and you can encourage young men who are witnessing these events to intervene. We can demand that our universities take this seriously and stop turning the girl into the victim again.
There is only one way to deal with a rapist, shoot on sight, same way with schools and universities!
Maybe because they will be told it was their fault. she shouldn't have worn whatshe wore, or been at that particular place, and the fact that she may be so embarrassed to tell anyone.
EVERYONE needs to watch this, men and women alike. Very powerful message.
Robert G., the man that did this to me had raped two younger than me, one 16 and one 18. They DID report it and nothing happened. After all, he was a member of "The Southern Mafia" and was beyond punishing. I reported it also, nothing happened, he walked. The last one SUPPOSEDLY got him killed by the girls father. Looking back on his record, I was the oldest one he raped @ 24.
If a women does NOT report a rape, 99 times out of 100, she is terrified, because of threats from the rapist, or so ashamed of the act itself that she does not report it. I say shame, because you get this crap about the way she was dressed or how she acted, or she was drunk or she was asking for it. A REAL man would never do anything like that.
As I said in first paragraph, a LOT of men walk away from this, far too many. It also falls on the court system too. When my case reached the court, I had a bailiff tell me that a Black woman that also had a case deserved it and should have been killed. With attitudes like that. the court often sucks at prosecuting these bastards. Before you say anything, I will tell you I know the bailiff doesn't try the cases, but he had an attitude that made me want to knock him on his ass and I told him that too.
The concept that women are not responsibleor partially responsiblewhenthey are raped is beginning to sink in, however there still many holding on to the old school thinking that need to watch that video.
This is a great article for the End Violence Against Women group. If you're not already a member, please join and help us keep messages like this in the forefront.
Btw, last month BF made this observation;
I agree, I couldn't even finish watching the video.
I agree with BF, thepresentationis pretty bad.
Leotie, I am also sorry to hear of this brutal act and injustice.
What you're saying Perrie is it's kind of like helping the students with the test so you can show how great your school is doing? I agree with you totally.
I basically said the same thing but with more extreme measures in mind. Rightfully, there should be much more protection for the girl who has made the report.
Remember the boys at Duke University? You see, you have little problems like that which have to be taken into account. We can hardly even say anything without ruining the lives of some innocent people as well. It has to be a addressed. Not every girl who says he was raped was actually raped as we've found to be the case.
Where is the answer? First, maybe it should be taught the first thing a young lady should do when raped is find a way to the hospital and gather all the evidence possible as soon as possible. Make that a priority. Teach young adults more about how this is definitely unacceptable and build the attitude among the students how important it is to not support anyone who has committed such a crime. Shame them for doing so. Build this attitude in each student, so hopefully more will realize it is more important to do what is right than protect a friend or not say anything.
And punish the university who is found to have rapes occurring on their campuses by some students and are not fully supporting the investigation of such reports.
It will take everyone. The girl has to have the guts to stand for all future girls who may suffer the same thing. There has to be evidence. That's all there is too it. Just saying Joe the athlete raped me doesn't prove anything. No evidence, no charges and if someone is falsely charged by someone then the accuser must also be eligible to suffer consequences as well.
I still believe the bottomless pit has merit.