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Friday Funny - More Adult Truths

  

Category:  The Lighter Side/ Humor

Via:  palma-seljan  •  11 years ago  •  12 comments

Friday Funny - More Adult Truths
  1. Going to MacDonalds for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug
  2. Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chips cookies are the main reason I have trust issues
  3. A man came to my door and asked if I could donate to the local swimming pool and I came back with a glass of water
  4. I cant find a job because I have no experience; I have no experience because I cannot find a job
  5. A clean room is a sign of a broken computer
  6. Im in shape. Round is a shape
  7. Why is it that whenever I make mistakes people always seem to notice?
  8. That awkward moment when someone you really hate sends you a friends request
  9. I run with scissors because it makes me feel dangerous
  10. Gasoline is getting more expensive because transporting it costs more when it gets more expensive.
  11. Im not anti-social; society is anti-me
  12. Whoever decided that a one-inch candy bar should be called fun-size need to seriously re-examine their standards for entertainment
  13. A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth
  14. After Tuesday even the calendar goes W T F
  15. Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. Others walk into our lives and we want to leave footprints on their face!
  16. When a man gets close to a woman wearing a leather mini-skirt, his heart starts beating faster, his throat gets dry, his knees get weak and he becomes irrational.. Why? Because the leather smells like a new car
  17. TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.
  18. You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself
  19. It's not important to win, it's important to make the other guy lose.
  20. A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.

And finally,

You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!'


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Hal A. Lujah
Professor Guide
link   Hal A. Lujah    11 years ago
Gasoline is getting more expensive because transporting it costs more when it gets more expensive.

Whoa - that just blew my mind!

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   Dowser    11 years ago

Cute! Thanks! Even though it is Thursday, and I had to check to make sure it wasn't Friday, I really enjoyed the humor! Smile.gif

 
 
 
pokermike
Freshman Silent
link   pokermike    11 years ago

Thanks, I thoroughly enjoyed this.

 
 
 
jennilee
Freshman Silent
link   jennilee    11 years ago
love these! I can totally relate to #2.
 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
link   Kavika     11 years ago

Number 16 is classic...LMAO

Is today Friday?Grin.gif

 
 
 
palma
Freshman Silent
link   seeder  palma    11 years ago

nope, you're all one week late LOL

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
link   Kavika     11 years ago

Just looked at the date...LMAO, that a real gotcha palma.Grin.gif

 
 
 
Spikegary
Junior Quiet
link   Spikegary    11 years ago

Very nice way to break up a long afternoon!

5977_discussions.jpg

 
 
 
Spikegary
Junior Quiet
link   Spikegary    11 years ago

In regards to Number 1: I recall a story.....

A German Tourist walked into McDonalds and asked for a beer.....the person laughed at him and said why would you come to McDonalds looking for beer? The german responded, 'You mean that you actually come here for the food?'

 
 
 
palma
Freshman Silent
link   seeder  palma    11 years ago

I had a similar experience when I moved here from London. As I was going through customs I was asked where I was coming from and when I told him London he asked if I was bringing any food to which I replied "do you call that food"? He laughed and let me pass without checking my luggage

 
 
 
palma
Freshman Silent
link   seeder  palma    11 years ago

A good one. And a reminder that it is almost FridaY. yay

 
 
 
Spikegary
Junior Quiet
link   Spikegary    11 years ago

Nice! Grin.gif

I was living in Turkey in the ealry 1990s and went to Germany for a week long conference and one of my friend insisted we fgo to McDonald's so he could drink a beer there.......I had been living in Turkey.....not a lot of Pork Products and here I am in Germany at a Mickey 'D's. Surreal.

 
 

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