No nursing home for me
No nursing home for me
Okay, I admit it. I happened to be wandering around that "other" place the day before I intend to cancel my account and delete my groups there and happened to see this article. I thought it worth saving to here. It's from the web site "1funny.com"
Buzz
About 2 years ago my wife and I were on a cruise through the
western Mediterranean aboard a Princess liner. At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the main dining room. I also noticed that all the staff, ships officers, waiters, busboys, etc., all seemed very familiar with this lady.
I asked our waiter who the lady was, expecting to be told that she owned the line, but he said he only knew that she had been on board for the last four cruises, back to back.
As we left the dining room one evening I caught her eye and stopped to say hello. We chatted and I said, "I understand you've been on this ship for the last four cruises". She replied, "Yes, that's true." I stated, "I don't understand" and she replied, without a pause, "It's cheaper than a nursing home".
So, there will be no nursing home in my future. When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:
1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.
2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant,or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week).
3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.
4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.
5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.
7. T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize
for your inconvenience.
8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.
9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare; if you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to go? Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.
PS. And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side at no charge.
http://www.1funny.com/nonursing.shtml
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I wish it were true.
Me too except I suffer from terminal seasickness. Never gonna get an another boat! I do however like the idea of going over the side for free, though!
I love being on boats - owned a small motorboat for a while, and used to go fishing on boats with my father when I was a kid. Never took a cruise, though, and with the recent reports of sickness on board them, and other problems, I never will.
I hated being on them and the only time that I wasn't seasick was coming home. They told me that it was because my eyes were both bandaged and you need vision in order to be seasick. Never tested the theory out though.
I went on a cruise last summer, and I was told by our waiter that this is an actual thing. There are people who cruise long term rather than pay roughly the same amount for assisted living arrangements. I don't think I could deal with that tiny bathroom full time, though. Not to mention that I would eat way to much.
So you think this is afantasy. I did some research and found not only is it true, it's better than true.
8 Day Eastern Caribbean from New York, NY
$479.00 avg per person
as little as $60 /nighThis is directly from the Carnival site:
Food for thought? Lot's of food for thought....
Hells yeah! I'd rather spend the last few days catching some rays,indulgingin some fine food and drink, being waved-off in a nap...
I think the prices quoted are for per person in a double shared occupancy, however, single occupant prices can still be in the neighbourhood of $120 per night, which is less than the woman in the story quoted. Besides, the Western Mediterranean cruise that the woman was supposedly on would be much more interesting than those Carnival cruises, but I suppose you would have to travel to Europe to get on the cruise.
Well, you couldn't horse tie and pay me a bundle of yankee dollars to get on one of those large tubs way out in the ocean with nary a mountain to be seen. No sir. I'd rather retire in a card board box in the China Mart parking lot, which might not be far from the truth unless things look up soon.
The paradigm has altered though. There are far more of us out here who will never be able to "retire" than not. I spect the scenario will be, work till we drop and then have our chilren roll us into the compost pile.
My friends and I have been talking about just such bidness. We are embarking on a plan to relocate our collective selves to the deep country in a "community". We figure one of our pards might just run by the hovel and find us bloated up on the living room floor before we stink the place up too badly. Then they can roll us on the compost pile. We'll see how it goes. Hell, the way things are running now we may all be taking a dirt nap before we get to our golden fried years anyhow.
Trust me with this one: The golden fried years are mostly lead. Had a hell of a time getting to be this old but now that I am--it SUCKS! Why? Because I am now too old and too sick to enjoy what I worked all those years for!
Used to wake up in the morning and say; Hot Dang and off to work I would go! Now when I open my eyes all I can say is: damn I'm still here and reach for my pain medicine. Enjoy what you now have because you too will soon be where I am!
You mean sort of a "hippie commune" for octogenerians?
I get the feeling an entire segment of the citizenry will soon come to perceive "retirement" as entitlement/welfare and hate us for being both poor and retired. Not that we'll actually be retired. Just poor.
I hear you talking.
"The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! Whats that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until youre young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating and you finish off as an orgasm." George Carlin
Exactly. "Freaks" might be better terminology. We were pretty lame hippies.
Hell, I'd rather spend my gimpy years sitting on the porch smoking leaf and shooting pistols at pumpkins than hang out with a herd of straigth q tips. But, that's just me.
Yup. It would be most difficult to find an argument with that assessment.
Heck, those old boys have even gotten poor people hating themselves. Why else would they line up and vote for a party that bones them every time? Not the Dems don't spend plenty of their free time boning the poor but, at least they are nicer about it. Or, they talk a better game.
Yep, to both of you!
Pretty hopeless situation. I guess it all boils down to most people need someone else to hate.
Buzz,
If the question is a with cruise Carnivalor an old age home, I'll go with Carnival, LOL!
Tex,
I like your plan!
It's inevitable.
Now I know why Carnival Cruise Lines is so inexpensive. Take a look at this:
That is after all the disasters they've been having. I think maybe the nursing home is a better bet.