Adventures with a Hairball
Everyone who has been around cats for any length of time has dealt with that dreaded 'delight', a hairball. I've had cats my entire life, from Grandma's cat, Tammy, to my family's cat, Sputnik, to my childhood cat, Faybian, all the way up to the present little darlings, Blueberry and Pharaoh. And each and every one of them, at one time or another, has presented me with my very own hairball.
So what's the big deal about hairballs? My cats seem to think that a hairball is a special gift, hacked out of their innards-- the ultimate of sacrifices, for me, The Mama. They usually prefer to cough it up on top of my bed, preferrably on the pillow, the best place to present a gift to me, The Mama. I can't tell you the number of times I have heard them race up the stairs, like a small herd of horses, run into the room, jump on the bed and immediately begin the huuuuungh, huuuuungh, huuuuungh routine. (Who could forget this scene?)
You see, between cats, hairballs have many judging points: They receive kitty-points for both epicurius mixture of contents, sliminess of said hairball, location, and presentation. Mo, my kitty soul mate and best friend, used to derive great pleasure by his presentation of a hairball from the top of the refrigerator to the kitchen floor. "Sweet little Mo," I said, as I went about my business, cooking supper. His eyes would film over, and hack, hack hack, a hairball would come flying down from his perch on the refrigerator to land with a nauseating splat. A gift, Mama! For you!
Rubella, my little striped tabby, who was weird, loved to leave them for me in the middle of the hall, or at the foot of the bed. She received points, kitty-wise for the unusual mixture of "goodies" in her hairballs-- a bug or two, little bits of string, a piece of paper, bits of crayon, etc. As I covered it with a paper towel, retching, she would come running to me, rubbing against my legs, "Like it, Mama? Aren't you happy? I made it just for you!"
I have, for many years, used anti-hairball formula cat food, and anti-hairball vitamins, thus depriving my 'children' of the opportunity to present me with little gifts with the frequency of the past. However, I have learned to be very careful as I walk down the hall in the night, and to closely investigate the stranger lumps that appear on the carpet in main passageways throughout the house.
However, we had a little incident last week, which actually turned my stomach, (inured though I have become), once again. I was in bed, the lights were off, and I was trying to convince myself that no, arthritis didn't hurt that badly, I could sleep without pain meds tonight, when, in the background, I heard the familiar huuuungh, huuuuungh, huuuuungh of one of the cats. Sighing, I got up, turned on the bedside lamp, (stepping on a fresh hairball barefooted is not my idea of a good time), and walked to the door.
Both Pharaoh and LuLu, the dog, were gazing at a grayish lump on the carpet, proprietorially. I leaped over the mess into the bathroom and got a giant wad of toilet paper. Step one of cleaning up any nauseating mess is to cover it. I covered the blob, and went back into the bathroom for another giant wad of toilet paper. Neither the dog nor the cat backed up at all, and were growling at one another over the hairball. I thought that odd, in a dim sort of way, but using the second giant wad of toilet paper, I reached down and picked up the soggy bundle and headed back to the bathroom to flush it.
Thinking that maybe I'd better make sure the cat wasn't really sick with blood and all, I turned it over and WOE is me, it wasn't a hairball. It was a MOUSE .
A sticky, slimy little dead mouse with its mouth open and its paws loose in that dead mouse way. Why this is worse, I don't know, but I squealed, startled, and hurled the wad into the commode, and hit the handle, squealing... My husband, peacefully snort-bleated in the other bedroom. I was still shuddering when I sat down on the bed. ARGHHH! It gave me the willies! I gave up on the no pain-med and went the way of I'm-not-staying-up-all-night-picturing-that-in-my-brain...
On the bright side, I had thought that Pharaoh was too much of a wuss to catch a mouse, and that LuLu would at least bark at one. Wrong on both counts! Pharaoh is no wuss and the dog is not about to bark to cue me in to rodent problems. To Pharaoh's credit, his is now claiming the right, as Head Kitty, to eat his meals before BooBear even figures out the food is up there. I am no longer scared of mice in the house, just dead bodies in the hall. And, lastly, it seems the hairball formula is working! Yeehaaa on all counts!
Thanks for coming by to see me!
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I hope y'all enjoy our little domestic "adventures"!
Thanks so much for coming by!
Our kitties would get on the bed, the couch, the rug, anywhere but a nice tiled or hard surface....
Funny story. Thanks, that was a good read. I had no idea you were a squealer. That's interesting.
Somewhere that their contribution would leave a lasting impression! For sure!!!
Mine are sleeping peacefully, now. I'm hoping that all is digesting well, too!
I usually only squeal at dead mice-- EEEEEK! and I say, EEEEK.
That sign is adorable, and yes, I need one! or two even!
LOL!
I honestly don't know which is worse-- a dead bird or a hairball... UGH on all counts!
Someday, you need to live with a cat, if only to fully experience and understand the meaning of the words, "Glorious Servitude". Gosh, I love mine with all I've got. They are just special!
We have 3 dogs and 3 cats right now, and each of them is a wonderfully unique individual!!
LOL!!! Lots of people don't like cats-- but I do. They are definitely self-motivated!
Tell your wife that when she meets a cat, not to draw her head up and away from the cat. In cat language, that means the person is interested in them, like flirting. So the cat will come over and love on her until I'm sure she is ready to scream... They have a great deal of body language the we just don't understand!
We are heading to Hazard, so I'll be unable to answer for a bit! I'm hoping to have wifi, but one can never be sure of anything at Hazard... It IS the stepping off point to the end of the world!
Very funny Dowser. I've have plenty of these tails myself.
Guess what I got up to this morning???? Never mind. You Don't want to know.
Grumpy, that sign is a howl! Thanks for sharing it.
Yes, the joy of a fur ball. I have had my full of them. Usually, Wally prefers the carpteting over the bare floor, just to make the clean up mess harder for me. BTW, I am chief fur ball cleaner in the Halpern household.
And as for mice. He doesn't want to eat them. He just wants to pound them to death. So we find little mousecorpsesanywhere he gets them. Sometimes I find them where I least expect them, like in my shoe.
I have had thegallof taking his toys away and letting them go outside on a fewoccasions. The nerve of me! Frustrated, he then goes and beats up his little blue dog that he's had since the dog was bigger then he was.
Yes, cat ownership is a very interesting experience!
My wife wasnt a cat person, just didnt appeal, been that way all her life, gave her the shivers. We arrived at what turned out to be my last posting in the Army in 1993, to find a dedicated cat lover living in the next door army house on the military estate. This will be fun was my immediate thought ...... got even more problematic when the lovely Lady next door took onthree more cats (long story on how that occured), and that now made six cats next door. This will definitelybe fun I thought, eying my wife sideways when she announced the event
Life went on, and the cats next door did their own thing after the usual "who's that" visits checking us out, until about six months after the latest three were taken on. Then it started .......
One began appearing every morning, sat outside the front door, then when smartly inside the house if the door was opened, and curl up in front of the fire rofl. The wife didnt really know what to do, despite gently shooing it away a few times, back it came the next day. After about ten days of this, she stopped shooing it out the door, and just let it come and go as it pleased - being firmly turffed out at night. To my utter astonishment she was growing fond of the cat
Sensibly however she wasnt feeding it.
After a couple of days of freedom about the house, I remarked she needed to make up mind ..... so, she went next door and asked. The "owner" immediately got out of her chair, went to the kitchen and took out two cans of cat food "this will get you started" she said.......rofl
Turns out that when it arrived next door, it had its offspring with it. The two kittens had got to the stage they were annoying mum - A LOT, mayhem had ensued as mum and "kitchens" fought for dominance- so she had been going round all the Army Quarters on the Barracks Estate sizing up the occupants - we got "picked" 
Sooo .... there began 14 years of life with furballs and mice corpses - and since the house backed onto a wood, we lost count of the number of "presents" we got. The cat died aged 22, so she did fine for thecat breed she was. It was an astonishing episode in our lives, she was a great cat, huge number of amusing moments with her. Now? The wife is back to "no cat" ..... women rofl ..... the cat never really understood the magnitude of conquest she had made when moving in all those years ago:)
Great I reall enjoyed it.
LInk
WHAT a hoot! I love that! Thanks for the link! Bleek, ork, blap...
Oh no, they all had good teeth. And that's awful of me to say, but it is, unfortunately, true. Not many dentists there...
Share them with us, please!!! I'd love to hear how your babies torture you!
Then we can be sisters of cat torture...
Being owned by a cat is a very interesting experience! I am the servant, even though I am also, The Mama.
Gosh, I love them...
Thanks for coming by, dear Perrie!
They just grow in our hearts, somehow! I'm so glad that y'all had a lovely experience with a good baby!
And yes, I understand.
Take care! I know you miss your sweet baby!
Thank you, so very much! You are a very kind reader!!!
LOL!! What a lovely baby!
I love gray babies!
Thats Grey Stoke,...he's two.....
He is so pretty!!!
Grandma and Grandpa had GrayBoy-- oh how I loved that cat! He was gorgeous!!!
I know, I am seriously considering looking for one to buy for the house...
You just pick up the mess, sort of shampoo behind it, and go on. The worst is stepping into a cold, slimy one, in the dark. UGH!!!
I always turn lights on and watch where I step. It's the only way to see them ahead of time and avoid the shivering, I-think-I'm-gonna-throw-up willies!
Love you, my dear Neetu!
Thanks for my invitation, Miss Dowser. I have made it. However, time is always limited of course. Mean Ol' Mr. Mortgage ... makes me come to work every day. You'd think they'd have child labor laws here in Texas. Hmmmph.
How cute! They have little auto-emoticons.
Jeez louise ...AND fifteen minutes to edit content! Niiiice!
My dear friend-- I'm so very glad you made it here! I think you will enjoy the site! It has the intimacy of the old NV, but has a lot more bells and whistles!
MUCH love to you!
I have no intention on leaving NV really; I'm just on strike til they kinda get their act together. This is a much more cohesive site. You have to belong to nations in order to respond and the responses go to many nations ... blah, blah. I follow al around. I'm his little groupie; love the satire and can't get enough.
Funny people are so smart! Or is that smart people are so funny? I think it's funny that I'm not smart enough to know the difference.
Hairballs; they sound so awful coming up (like the dry heaves have too much red wine), but you just know kitty's sayin' "ahhhhhhhhhhhhh..."
If I knew your home address, Dowser, I would have sent you the Valentine's Day card I sent a kabillion people (I'm not a big fan of VD, and I've convinced suitors that it's strictly a girl holiday ... only girls get gifts and cards). This year I sent one card in particular to all my friends because I loved it so danged much. There's a Victorian woman on the front, holding up what looks like a knife. Text on front: "If we were in prison together, I'd totally shiv anyone who dissed you." I would too, Dowser. Totally.
Thanks for the invitation, my friend. You make it seem like home.
I would have LOVED that card!
A true friend does not bail you out of jail... I true friend sits beside you IN jail and says, "Boy, wasn't that fun?"
I'm so glad you're here, my dear friend! I've really missed you!
isn't it wonderful that our friends are coming over?
Yay, Neetu~! So good to see you!
(((((((((((Phoebefeline))))))))))))))
We're all glad to see you here!
Hilarious story--though at the time I can imagine your revulsion!I have had cats for the last 40 years at least and have done my hair ball clean up duty many times. Mine tend to leave theirs in the middle of the bedroom doorway floor, just where I step on it as I head to the bathroom for my morning ablutions. YUK. At least it encourages me to clean my floors!
All cats seem to me to be little hairball factories... UGH!
And without fail, I step on them, barefoot. ICK!
Thanks, dear Angel, for coming by!