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Employee Notice For Old People

  

Category:  The Lighter Side/ Humor

Via:  buzz-of-the-orient  •  8 years ago  •  1 comments

Employee Notice For Old People


Employee Notice For Old People 
..




 



Due to the 
current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the 
Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age 
and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing 
unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire 
Aged People Early
).

Persons 
selected to be 
RAPED can apply to 
the Government to be considered for the 
SHAFT
 program 
(
Special 
Help After Forced Termination
).

Persons 
who have been 
RAPED 
and 
SHAFTED will be 
reviewed under the 
SCREW program 
(
System 
Covering Retired-Early Workers
).


A person 
may be RAPED once, 
SHAFTED twice and 
SCREWED 
as many 
times as the Government deems appropriate.


Persons who 
have
 been RAPED could get 
AIDS (Additional 
Income for Dependents & Spouse

or
 
HERPES (Half 
Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance
).

Obviously 
persons who have 
AIDS or 
HERPES will not be 
SHAFTED or 
SCREWED 
any further by 
the Government.

Persons who are not 
RAPED and are 
staying on will receive as much 
SHIT (Special 
High Intensity Training
) as 
possible. The Government has always prided themselves on the amount of 
SHIT 
they give 
our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough 
SHIT, please 
bring this to the attention of your MP, who has been trained to give you all 
the 
SHIT you can 
handle.

Sincerely,
The Committee for Economic Value of Individual 
Lives (
E.V.I.L.)


PS - Due to 
recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as 
current market conditions, 
The Light 
at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.




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Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Buzz of the Orient    8 years ago

My brother sent me this. He's older than me.

 
 

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