WASHINGTON — The Pentagon announced Tuesday it had awarded a sole-source contract to United Airlines for work related to the forcible removal of President Bashar al-Assad from Syria.
The contract, worth $2.1 billion, tasks the airline company with locating Assad, grabbing him from his seat in the presidential palace, and “dragging him out of Damascus by his arms.” The contract also notes that Assad should be “ asked several times, politely ” to give up his seat of power, though if he refuses, United workers should bloody his nose up a bit, according to the posting at FedBizOpps.
The award comes just days after President Donald Trump authorized the launch of cruise missiles at a Syrian air base, in response to Assad’s use of chemical weapons. Two Navy ships launched 59 Tomahawk missiles into Syria, which destroyed roughly 20% of its operational aircraft and a Green Beans Coffee shop being used by the Russian army.
Soon after the strikes, some in the Trump White House began calling for regime change in Syria. Nikki Haley, the US ambassador to the United Nations, told reporters that peace in Syria “could not be achieved” with Assad remaining in power.
Though US military officials have struggled in recent months with a plan for removing Assad, United Airlines cleared its final hurdle for the military’s request for proposal on Monday, when it ordered police officers to forcibly remove a passenger from a flight that was overbooked.
America's secret weapon.
UAL and the Airport Police.
Offering red-eye and black-eye flights !
LOL!
LOL, good one Pat.
Scrambled I assume.
LMAO, I wonder if it's a 1st class ticket. The little emperor and all that.
Moving forward, United Airlines has hired a new Spokesman:
LOL, the perfect fit
They are having some PR 'Timing' issues with their new App though:
''Drag and drop feature''
Well that is really putting their foot in the old mouth...
Beware, your seat my be wanted.