OLD WORDS AND expressions that have become obsolete
(Author unknown)
OLD WORDS ANDexpressions that have become obsolete because of the inexorable march of technology. These phrases includeddon't touch that dial,carbon copy, you sound like a broken record, andhung out to dry. A bevy of readers have asked me to shine light on more faded words and expressions, and I am happy to oblige:
Back in theoldendays we had a lot ofmoxie. We'd put on our bestbib and tuckerandstraighten up and fly right.Hubba-hubba! We'dcut a rugin somejuke jointand then goneckingandpettingandsmoochingandspooningand billingandcooingandpitching wooin hot rods and jalopies in somepassion pitorlovers' lane.Heavens to Betsy!Gee whillikers!Jumping Jehoshaphat!Holy moley! We wereIn like Flynnandliving the life of Riley, and even a regular guy couldn't accuse us of being aknucklehead, anincompoopor apill.Not for all the tea in China!
Back in the olden days, life used to beswell, but when's the last time anything wasswell?Swellhas gone the way ofbeehives,pageboysand theD.A.; ofspats,knickers,fedoras,poodle skirts,saddle shoesandpedal pushers.Oh, my aching back.Kilroy was here, but he isn't anymore.
Like Washington Irving's Rip Van Winkle and Kurt Vonnegut's Billy Pilgrim, we have become unstuck in time. We wake up from what surely has been just a short nap, and before we can say,I'll be a monkey's uncle! orThis is a fine kettle of fish! We discover that the words we grew up with, the words that seemed omnipresent as oxygen, have vanished with scarcely a notice from our tongues and our pens and our keyboards.
Poof, poof, poofgo the words of our youth, the words we've left behind. We blink, and they're gone, evanesced from the landscape and wordscape of our perception, likeMickey Mouse wristwatches,hula hoops,skate keys,candy cigarettes,little wax bottles of colored sugar water,and anorgan grinder's monkey.
Where have all those phrases gone?Long time passing. Where have all those phrases gone?Long time ago.Pshaw.The milkman did it.Think about the starving Armenians.Bigger than a bread box.Banned in Boston.The very idea!It's your nickel.Don't forget to pull the chain.Knee high to a grasshopper.Turn-of-the-century.Iron curtain.Domino theory.Fail safe.Civil defense.Fiddlesticks! You look like thewreck of the Hesperus.Cooties.Going like sixty.I'll see you in the funny papers.Don't take any wooden nickels.Heavens to Murgatroyd! Andawa-a-ay we go! Oh, my stars and garters! It turns out there are more of these lost words and expressions thanCarter had liver pills.
This can be disturbing stuff, this winking out of the words of our youth, these words that lodge in our heart's deep core. But, just as one never steps into the same river twice, one cannot step into the same language twice. Even as one enters, words are swept downstream into the past, forever making a different river.
We of a certain age have been blessed to live in changeful times. For a child each new word is like a shiny toy, a toy that has no age. We at the other end of the chronological arc have the advantage of remembering there are words that once did not exist, and there were words that oncestrutted their hour upon the earthly stage and now are heard no more, except in our collective memory. It's one of the greatest advantages of aging. We can have archaic and eat it, too.
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One of my favourites (obviously) is "A slow boat to China".
Let's see some others.
That was a very zen thing to say ...
If life is like a bowl of cherries, why am I in the pits?
The grass is always greener on the other side of the picket fence.
I wish we could sell him for what he thinks he's worth
I don't know if i should scratch my watch or wind my butt.
"You're just knitting a sweater from your own wool."
You can't even run back in the door you ran out of.
finally....
If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth!
Oh my, I AM old fashioned, as I say these, and many others, all the time... Here are some, too:
On a summer's day: "It's hotter than flue gins!"
To a bad farmer: "He couldn't stand on a bag of fertilizer and raise an umbrella."
General exclamation: "Ye gods and little fishes!" "the south end of a northbound horse." "By dingy!"
To a ball player that whips around the bases: "He runs better than sorghum on a hot plate."
To talk to one another: "Chew the fat, "jaw" a bit, or bang the gums"
This is an old family saying, "Mama, you got pie?" and Grandma would answer, "Shoo Fly Pie, and Apple Pan Dowdy!"
Another old family thing: "Looks like a cow pie Sunday!" Meaning: a good day to play a trick on someone, from the 191? visit of Uncle Fred and his boys to the farm. It was raining, and Grandpa told them that if they stepped on the stepping stones, (cow pies), they could get across the pasture without getting their feet wet. Yeah, right!
I'll try to think of more...
Still water runs deep.
Goin' to the juke joint
"Best thing since sliced bread" "Cute as a button" "Stand on your head and spit wooden nickels" "lie like a rug"
Ooooo I thought of another one: Cut the rug-- meaning dancing!
Here's a country one that's funny.
"her mouth runs like a Whippoorwill's ass in Chokecherry time"
I hope everybody enjoyed the last line of the article:
I'm walkin' in tall cotton...
A dime a dozen.
A chip on your shoulder.
All Greek to me.
Buzz
Great stuff
Thanks for the article, very entertaining
"Back o square one"
"Barking up the wrong tree"
" colder than the balls on a brass monkey" now get your mind out of the gutter for those who have already made a mental picture .
back in the days of tall masted sailing ships , when they were armed with deck cannon , they had a contraption made of brass that they would stack those nice neat little pyramids of cannon balls on , that was called a monkey, the cannon balls are of course the balls . the reason the monkey was made of brass was to limit the effect of corrosion with the iron cannon balls when exposed to the elements , meaning the 2 didn't fuse together with rust.
Shit boy, howdy. Texas expression.
"Cup of Joe"
"Cut to the chase"
"Greased lightening"
"Give a man a fish"
Far out, Dude; groovy!
"Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle"
Eat the crust it'll make your hair curly.
I know you are but what am I.
Your mother wears combat boots.
Step on the crack, break your mother's back.
Do you eat with that mouth.
"Money doesn't grow on trees"
" Mountain out of a mole hill"
It's all over but the cryin....
It's not over til the fat lady sings....
It's not over til it's OVER! ....
We're Not Happy 'Til You're Not Happy.....
Waste Not, Want Not....
To all good things comes an end....
"Cut off your nose to spite your face"
"Never look a Gift Horse in the mouth"