Another...META FROM HELL! IMPASSE!

All right, it’s time for another damn Meta from Hell.  Because apparently…ya NEED it.  So gather round young NT naives.  Fix you a cup of tea, or cup of coffee, or a High Ball, or Long Island Iced Tea, or grab a beer, or a jar of shine.  Whatever you need, get comfortable.  Uncle Bruce is gonna school you on IMPASSE.  Now pay attention and behave.  No playing grab fanny while I’m talking.  I have 2x4 handy, and I aint afraid to use it. 

Way back in the yonder days of NewsTalkers, debate was lively and colorful.  Once debating members had expounded all of their reasoning on a certain topic, the debate inevitably turned to the usual comments  about self-sexual acts, sexual acts with another member’s trusty steed, and in some cases acts of fornication with mothers, sisters, and various barnyard animals. 

Our Ad-Hoc team of moderation knew that something should be done.  So a committee was formed, doughnuts, coffee, and cupcakes provided, and the CoC was developed to rescue the masses from the messes. 

In the course of that development, it was recognized that at times in a debate, the free exchange of opinion could cease, and further debate would be useless.  Thus was born the concept of Impasse. 

“Uncle Bruce, what does Impasse mean, and how do I use it?”  Hush little NT naïve, I shall explain with a hypothetical example. 

Let’s say that Perrie makes a statement that regular use of Flintstone Vitamins will increase a woman’s bust size.  And let’s say that PJ disagrees.  And the debate begins.  Perrie posts links and pie charts.  PJ posts venn diagrams and bar charts.  Perrie posts studies.  PJ dismisses said studies because they were funded by Playtex Cross Your Heart.  PJ posts double blind studies, which Perrie dismisses because they were funded by The Augmentation Trade Association (TATA’s for short).  This goes on with Studies by Victoria’s Secret, the American Association of Boobie Augmentation, and so on.  Until a point is reached where there is no further meaningful dialogue, and one member is about to accuse the other of titty envy.   

At this point young naïve, either Perrie or PJ, realizing that further debate is pointless and a circle jerk is about to ensue, would state: 

“Oh wise and learned opponent.  I fear that our debate has reached a stalemate, and further discussion is neither desired nor necessary.  I therefor bid you good day, and offer my hand in friendly acknowledgment that we must agree to disagree.” 

Except Perrie and PJ are lazy.  And don’t feel like typing out such an eloquent declaration of truce.  Thus either of them simply types “IMPASSE”. 

Now I’m not gonna sit here and quote you from Webster’s works what the dictionary definition of impasse is.  You’re a big boy/girl/whatever.  You can Google it yourself. 

I will tell you what the NT definition is.  It means the discussion is over.  Period.  End of conversation, literally.  No more comments from the opponent, OR YOU!  The thread stops.  Further comments, regardless of how on topic or well-presented will be deleted by the moderators.   

“Oh that’s great, Uncle Bruce!  I can use impasse to ignore someone that I don’t want to debate with!”  NO!  Young naïve, impasse was never intended to be used as an ignore function.  But I swear to God, it has been thrown out there so much in the last few days that the Imp’s Ass is blistered RED.   

You DO have an ignore function.  It’s called “Scroll the fuck on down!”  Here’s how it works.  You put your curser (that’s the little arrow that moves when you move the mouse) on the down pointing arrow all the way over on the right hand side of your screen.  Then you press your left mouse button until the screen moves past whatever you want to ignore.  If you have some advanced computer skills, and an appropriate mouse, you can use the scroll wheel to do the same. 

Impasse is not an ignore tool.  Let me say that slowly so you can fully understand it.  Impasse…is…not…an…ignore…tool.   Impasse is not to be used to stop healthy debate.  Impasse is not to be used when you don’t like what the other person is posting or saying.   

“But Uncle Bruce, how many comments must I or they make before I can call Impasse?”  Young naïve, do you think there is a measured metric to healthy debate?  I cannot tell you how many comments it takes for a debate to run its course.  I CAN tell you that you will be hard pressed to convince me or any other moderator that it has run its course after only one, two or even three comments.  If I keep seeing that, using impasse to shut down otherwise healthy discussions, I’m going to start yanking your impasse comment and Purple Pen you to put on your Big Boy/Girl/Whatever panties and either continue, or IGNORE them. 

Now, here are some mechanics of the use of Impasse.  Pay close attention young naives, I do not want to lose any of you in this part. 

Impasse is used when two members have reached a point that further debate is meaningless.  One or the other member posts a comment with the single word “Impasse”.  You do not precede it with a debate point.  You do not follow it with a debate point.   

When Impasse is declared, both participants are prohibited from any further comments IN THAT THREAD.  This does not prevent either participant from commenting elsewhere in the article.  And since Impasse is not an ignore function, it does not preclude any further interaction of the participants in that article or other articles.  Impasse is not used against a participant, but rather to stop a debate. 

“But Uncle Bruce, what if there are more than one participant in a thread? “  That’s a good question young naïve.  Because it has never been addressed in our CoC.  So I will tell you, as a moderator, how that should be handled. 

Keeping with the intended use of Impasse to stop a debate that has run its course, you must be careful that you truly have nothing more to say in the thread.  To any party.  If Perrie wanted to end the debate with PJ, but she wants to continue to argue with Sister Mary Agnes Amplebottom that Flinstones Vitamins increase bust size, but do nothing to make the pushin-cushion bigger, then she should ignore any further comments from PJ, and start every response to the good Sister with “Good Sister Mary”.  If she has nothing more to add in the discussion, she may declare impasse, or simply ignore the thread.

Now, there is a school of thought out there that in the above example, Perrie should be able to declare Impasse with a specific member in a thread.  The problem with that is it makes the Impasse function an ignore function.  Frankly, you're better off just ignoring comments rather than declaring Impasse. 

One other point I want you naives to understand.  Impasse stops debate in a thread.  Let's say that Dowser is late to the party.  She's reading the thread between Perrie and PJ, and she wants to comment.  But just as she's about to hit the reply button, she sees that Perrie has declared impasse.  Dowser really wants to respond to one of Perrie's or PJ's comments, but with Impasse declared, she's not sure what she should do. 

Here is what she should do.  Dowser should copy the comment she wants to respond to, and past it into a brand new thread with her response.  By doing so, she creates a new discussion, and doesn't muddle up the thread that has been impassed.  THIS ONLY APPLIES TO NEW PARTICIPANTS IN A DISCUSSION.  If you have been involved in a thread, and impasse has been declared, you cannot copy a comment and start a new thread to bypass the impasse.

"But Uncle Bruce, if I declare Impasse on a debate, and someone else starts a new thread, then the debate can start all over again!"  You're damn right it can.  And then you gotta go through this whole mess all over again.  Which is why you should seriously consider why you are using Impasse, and if it would be better to just ignore comments.

Seriously young naives, the use of Impasse should be well thought out, and not thrown around to arbitrarily stop comments directed at you. 

Lesson is over young naives.   If you are still confused, or have any further questions about it, post them below.  I and the moderating team will help you understand.